Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

37. Ace vs. Bobby Promo Video (Heels, S01E04)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

(Heels, S01E04)

  • "I'd eat a mile of her shit just to lick where it came out." (Heels, S01E04)
  • "My parents were always telling me, 'Just stay the course, Bobby.' It's like, man, sometimes I wish life was like Mario Kart or something, where the course is just up in the corner, you know? So when people told you 'stay the course,' you kinda know what the course looks like." (Heels, S01E04)
  • ♫: Uncle Tupelo – "Black Eye" (Heels, S01E04)
  • "Sorry, guys, if I wanted another bleeding heart, I'd inject re-animator serum into an actual bleeding heart." (Rick and Morty, S05E09)
  • "But I see 'two crows' written right here beside 'Gene with donkey brains,' 'half a Paul Giamatti,' and 'sentient shit.'" (Rick and Morty, S05E09)
  • [crow alarm blares]
    "Seriously? Is there anything not on theme here?" (Rick and Morty, S05E09)
  • "I was iffy about this one, but crow tech slaps!" (Rick and Morty, S05E09)
  • "Bird quaaludes…" (Rick and Morty, S05E09)
  • "He's anti-heroic! Run!" (Rick and Morty, S05E10)

(Rick and Morty, S05E10)

  • "Submit to Crow Horse!" (Rick and Morty, S05E10)
  • "Aw, that's cute. They rebuilt. They made it nicer."
    "They made it Glendale." (Rick and Morty, S05E10)
  • "Woof. You're about to get suspended with pay." (Rick and Morty, S05E10)
  • "Oh! Was I…influential?"
    "Yeah, y-you were influential. You had, like, seven…seven blogs." (Rick and Morty, S05E10)
  • Rick and Morty Season Grade: C
  • "You fucking pretentious cunt deer!" (Reservation Dogs, S01E06)
  • "So, we're gonna bring Sting a morning turkey?"
    "Ye— I know, it's weird, but I figure if we also brought coffee… Yeah, listen. I know this is nuts…"
    "No, no, no. That's exactly why it'll work. Because it's surprising. No one ever brings anyone a turkey with bad intentions!"
    "Exactly! Wow. I am amazed. I didn't think you'd be on board with this."
    "I'm so on board with this. Because this is how I'm gonna fill the rest of my days with hobbies, and my hobby is solving murders. I'm gonna go on vacation with murders, and one day, murders are gonna sit by my bed and feed me broth because I'm losing my swallow reflex." (Only Murders in the Building, S01E04)
  • "Emma thought a hard break would be best for Lucy, so I really haven't spoken to her since. And I've been haunted by it. And by Bugs and Porky." (Only Murders in the Building, S01E04)
  • "Make her stay and watch. I want that treacherous bitch to see what she's done to me." (American Crime Story, S03E01)
  • "I am not going around to Quality Management conferences giving out oral sex." (American Crime Story, S03E01)
  • "And we'd like a role on Designing Women for Steve."
    "Yeah, I could be, like, a love interest for Delta Burke." (American Crime Story, S03E01)
  • "I'm sorry, ma'am, this is a non-smoking section."
    "Oh, fantastic. The whole earth is becoming Berkeley, California." (American Crime Story, S03E01)
  • "Half of Arkansas is here. You might have noticed a certain Kmart spirit in the air." (American Crime Story, S03E01)
  • "Um, what is fellatio?" (American Crime Story, S03E01)
  • "I can draw it, his…area." (American Crime Story, S03E01)
  • "It takes a dramatic turn." (American Crime Story, S03E01)
  • "And Kathleen, who has the secretarial experience of a radish…" (American Crime Story, S03E01)
  • "I can hear you chewing."
    "This is how I chew." (American Crime Story, S03E01)
  • "D.C. gets lonely fast." (American Crime Story, S03E01)
  • "She's also from Los Angeles."
    "Oh, really? Where?"
    "I think she said Glendale. Is that it?"
    "Glendale's never it." (American Crime Story, S03E01)
  • "Uh, guys, I'm covered in Sharon." (What If…?, S01E05)
  • "Sorry, I tend to process traumatic events with dad jokes."
    "Whoa! Watch out! She's a man-eater! There it is, I'm doing it again." (What If…?, S01E05)
  • "I hope everyone enjoyed Little Women by Louisa May Alcott."
    "To be honest, I did not."
    "Yes, a better title would've been White Women." (Awkwafina Is Nora From Queens, S02E05)
  • "Will you stop thinking about ass and help us?" (Awkwafina Is Nora From Queens, S02E05)
  • "Don't you wanna help that dick?" (Awkwafina Is Nora From Queens, S02E05)
  • "Took everything in me not to rub one out during that threesome with George and Martha and Ben Franklin." (American Horror Story, S10E04)
  • "I'm digging the look. Vampire Michael Stipe. Or…anorexic Uncle Fester?" (American Horror Story, S10E04)
  • "The talented ones need the blood, but their rage comes from their arrogance and certainty that they're better than everyone. The rage of the untalented is much darker, more intense. You hate the world for giving you dreams that were too big." (American Horror Story, S10E04)
  • Evan Peters in drag (American Horror Story, S10E04)
  • "And your drag name is awful."
    "Patty O'Furniture. That's an awesome name." (American Horror Story, S10E04)
  • "Do I have a tattoo? Oh, please. I got this on 9/11. Not for 9/11, I just happened to be getting it that morning." (The Other Two, S02E05)
  • "Duh! I love foie gras. I have always pronounced it that way." (The Other Two, S02E05)
  • "Cary, hey. Just got back from only peeing in the bathroom." (The Other Two, S02E05)
  • "Are you even from Texas?"
    "Yeah. I'm from Austin."
    "Fuck! I always forget about Austin." (The Other Two, S02E05)
  • "Did you guys know the Body of Christ here is a margherita flatbread?" (The Other Two, S02E05)
  • ♫: Leland – "Jesus Fucking Slays" (The Other Two, S02E05)
  • "How did I not realize I was writing the movie Beginners?" (The Other Two, S02E06)
  • "Are you trying to Before Sunrise me?" (The Other Two, S02E06)
  • "Her hair smells of tropical fruits, her scalp of medication." (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E03)
  • "The fonts for the Vampiric Council website. I mean, we could do Franklin Gothic, but it's a bit on the nose." (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E03)
  • "Is that what I think it is?"
    "No, it's not, you little pervert. It's an engagement ring." (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E03)
  • "What the hell is that?"
    "Cornelius Dong's Adventures in the Boner Brigade."
    "That never came out in hardback." (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E03)
  • "Oh, come in, come in. We were just dancing in between rounds of cunnilingus." (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E03)
  • "Energy vampires love a good road trip. I, myself, always have my mix ready to go. 25 'Hey There Delilahs.'" (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E03)
  • "Oh, Guillermo! Have you seen my genital towel?" (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E03)
  • "There is a bloody plunket of a man upstairs who has feelings, and those feelings are going to get hurt and then we will never choose a font!" (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E03)
  • "Are you insinuating that I would do it with her while she is in wolf form? Because I did, but I was in bat form, and it was exclusively hand stuff." (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E03)
  • ♫: Muse – "Supermassive Black Hole" (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E03)
  • "Oh, I'm sure Gail's completely satisfied with your tiny little bat dick."
    "I'll give you a bat dick! I mean, proportionally, it is quite normal, but it is slightly teensy and ineffective. I mean, it's a bat dick, you know?" (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E03)

(What We Do in the Shadows, S03E03)

  • "Use the weight of your penis, darling." (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E03)
  • "A veterinarian for wild animals. I still don't get how that works. You treat them in the woods and no one pays you?" (Ted Lasso, S02E08)
  • "No, I like my water like Kyrie Irving likes his Earth – flat." (Ted Lasso, S02E08)
  • "Really? The pitches aren't the same size?" (Ted Lasso, S02E08)
  • "Point is, guys, we're here now, okay? At this Wembley. The one that Freddie Mercury never stepped foot in." (Ted Lasso, S02E08)
  • "All right, let's go kick their butts. 'Butts' on three." (Ted Lasso, S02E08)
  • ♫: Oasis – "Don't Look Back in Anger" (Ted Lasso, S02E08)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Underground Railroad
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Girls5eva

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