Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

39. Am vs. Karre (Star Wars: Visions, S01E03)

Stray Observations

  • "You know what I've been thinking about lately?"
    "When will Jesus come back?"
    "Nah, I ain't never thinking about that."
    "Your name's Apocalypse."
    "Nicknamed after the movie. My dad was in Vietnam."
    "Oh, making a movie? That's dope." (Heels, S01E06)
  • James Harrison saying "this sateen-like shit hurts my fuckin' nipples" (Heels, S01E06)
  • "That would be so cool, to have little kids sucking on your nipples." (Heels, S01E06)
  • "Barstool wants to promote my comeback." (Heels, S01E06)
  • Mick Foley (Heels, S01E06)
  • "That's a lot of ranch."
    "Uh, it's-it's Bobby's."
    "I like ranch." (Heels, S01E06)
  • "Vision out" (Reservation Dogs, S01E08)
  • "I've been seeing this spirit for a while now."
    "You mean, like, dating a spirit?"
    "No, man, I'm not dating no spirit."
    "Oh, fuck. Misunderstood."
    "All right, well, he's a Lakota warrior who died at the battle at Little Bighorn. He didn't kill Custer or, like, literally anybody, because, you know, him and his horse fell in a gopher hole. He always talks about how his nipples are always hard, but that doesn't really matter." (Reservation Dogs, S01E08)
  • ♫: John Angaisk – "Hey, Hey, Hey, Brother" (Reservation Dogs, S01E08)
  • Reservation Dogs Season Grade: C
  • "Call me 355."
    "Okay, cool. Call me Trapezoid." (Y: The Last Man, S01E04)
  • Herman's Head (Only Murders in the Building, S01E06)
  • "I'm a stranger that lied to you a bunch, and you're two randos that dragged me into a podcast."
    "'Rando' is a slang for a person of no significance."
    "I used context clues, but thank you."
    "You're welcome."
    "You could still do the podcast, though. Can learn how to use Twitter. It's not that hard. Don't do TikTok." (Only Murders in the Building, S01E06)
  • "Would you mind coming with me? Or am I too rando?" (Only Murders in the Building, S01E06)
  • Cardboard cutout of Elliot Stabler (Only Murders in the Building, S01E06)
  • "I don't remember how Herman's Head ended, but I suspect it ended with him finally finding the girl. Or the guy. I could never tell with Herman." (Only Murders in the Building, S01E06)
  • "Apparently, people still watch live TV." (Only Murders in the Building, S01E06)
  • "Women who knock rarely make history." (Only Murders in the Building, S01E06)
  • "I want to do this podcast. I have to finish this with you guys."
    "That…is so rando." (Only Murders in the Building, S01E06)
  • "Go restock the Dr. Quinn hats." (American Crime Story, S03E03)
  • "I have to arrange a tour of Andrews Air Force Base for Gerald McRaney."
    "Major Dad, Monica." (American Crime Story, S03E03)
  • "Paula, you got all of them. Even that little Jewish lady." (American Crime Story, S03E03)
  • "This is horseshit, Bob. It's the worst decision in the history of the court."
    "Well, Dred Scott…"
    "Don't talk to me about Dred Scott." (American Crime Story, S03E03)
  • "Are you excited?"
    "To meet Matt Drudge?" (American Crime Story, S03E03)
  • "Also, she's a lesbian."
    "She is not. She used to date Dinesh D'Souza." (American Crime Story, S03E03)
  • "What must it be like to be a grayscale Xerox of me?"
    "I don't see how she could be your Xerox, when, unlike you, she attended an elite law school."
    "Michigan is top ten."
    "See, that's among the saddest sentences I've ever heard." (American Crime Story, S03E03)
  • "You want to…get a Diet Coke?" (American Crime Story, S03E03)
  • "He said he still wanted to be friends and then, uh…Tony Blair called and he gave me a hug and I left and I sobbed on Pennsylvania Avenue." (American Crime Story, S03E03)
  • "'I was a good girl when I was sent to the Pentagon. I waited patiently because I believed I would return to the White House. If that does not happen I'm going to have to explain to my parents why.'" (American Crime Story, S03E03)
  • "Remember, no tears." (American Crime Story, S03E03)
  • "I have to hand this to Gerald McRaney in 20 hours." (American Crime Story, S03E03)
  • "We are not from Pasadena." (American Crime Story, S03E03)
  • "Oh, there you are, all the way down there. So tiny, I almost stood on you. How are you?" (What If…?, S01E07)
  • "Yeah, goats!" (What If…?, S01E07)
  • "Volstagg has crashed!" (What If…?, S01E07)
  • "Loki, you are the absolute best!"
    "You're my brother from another mother, man." (What If…?, S01E07)
  • "Wait, what's that boom? Did you boom?"
    "No, I didn't boom. Did you boom? You always boom."
    "I never boom. I only boom in private." (What If…?, S01E07)
  • "Oh, no, your weird rocks have all fallen over." (What If…?, S01E07)
  • "If I exert my full powers, I blow a crater in this planet. Taking down Kappa Kappa frat freak won't be worth the fatalities."
    "Ooh. What about South Dakota?" (What If…?, S01E07)
  • "Well, look who came waddling back: Mrs. the Duck." (What If…?, S01E07)
  • "Arm the nukes."
    "What? But I thought she was the nuke."
    "Just in case she gets distracted by a cat." (What If…?, S01E07)
  • "Look who's pooping the party now. It is you! You are pooping the party!" (What If…?, S01E07)
  • "Did you know that Midgard is the birthplace of the Snuggie?" (What If…?, S01E07)
  • "With power, you can protect those without it. However, like everything else, it is impermanent." (Star Wars: Visions, S01E07)
  • Star Wars: Visions Season Grade: C
  • "Finally, I was the last one, and it was one spot left. They had to pick me, right?"
    "What the hell? That's a goddamn cactus!"
    "I was devastated. I had to just stand there behind the fence and watch them play, having so much fun. Even worse, that fucking cactus made a big catch."
    "Cactus! Cactus! Cactus!" (Awkwafina Is Nora from Queens, S02E07)
  • "I mean, I'm digging the port tawny, but I know y'all got the Remy Martin. Every Chinese function has Remy Martin." (Awkwafina Is Nora from Queens, S02E07)
  • "Anyway, thank you, Doug, for that fully disgusting story that no one asked for."
    "What? You got one better than spicy dick?"
    "A thumb could tell a better story than spicy dick!"
    "At least I was in my stories. Got a couple of R.L. Stines here." (Awkwafina Is Nora from Queens, S02E07)
  • "Oh, I wish we had some beef bourguignon!"
    "You can eat while watching porn?" (Awkwafina Is Nora from Queens, S02E07)
  • "The gays might stop coming." (American Horror Story, S10E06)
  • "You know, I stopped Burger King from opening in this town. I can stop you too." (American Horror Story, S10E06)
  • "Chicken-shit little bitch." (American Horror Story, S10E06)
  • "Look, I know this sucks, okay? I know you got a raw deal. But you are not monsters. You're a bunch of Laurence Fishburnes. Fishburne turned down Pulp Fiction because his agent told him he'd be working with John Travolta – a has-been. Now, look, you all made a very bad call, but it is not the end of the story. Fishburne went on to beat out Sam Jackson for The Matrix. The moral of the story is that sometimes there are second chances." (American Horror Story, S10E06)
  • "Care for some baby charcuterie?" (American Horror Story, S10E06)
  • "So either you up your offer by a lot, or, if you prefer, you can just suck my dick." (American Horror Story, S10E06)
  • "What's an 'ussy'? U-S-S-Y. Ussy, is that like a selfie with a bunch of people?"
    "Read the sentence."
    "It says, 'I'm going to win the contest, then I'm going to make him lick my ussy real good.' Ussy, what's ussy?"
    "I think that's maybe a typo. They forgot a P." (The Premise, S01E03)
  • "Do you know what the chemist did then?"
    "He put it on his dick."
    "That's exactly what he did. He put it on his dick." (The Premise, S01E03)
  • "Your talent Jesse…your fame, the light music that shines through you."
    "That's my opium dick." (The Premise, S01E03)
  • "These are my yellow books. These are my red books. These are my purple books, my green books and…of course, you know, my blue books. Yeah, I love reading." (The Premise, S01E03)
  • "How did this happen? It's on LeakedMeat!"
    "It is?"
    "Yes! This sucks."
    "I know, I love that site! Now I can't go on without seeing my brother's hole…again?" (The Other Two, S02E09)
  • "Hey, guys. A butthole has recently been brought to my attention. No. Hello. Some of you have seen a lewd photograph of a bottom. It's too formal. Hey, y'all. Okay, obviously not that." (The Other Two, S02E09)
  • "'Skypoint Airlines is homophobic. @CaryDubek, I stand with you and your hole'? No, Busy! Don't stand with my hole." (The Other Two, S02E09)
  • "I'm wearing it in orange, but it also comes in brown and bad yellow." (The Other Two, S02E10)
  • "Justin Bartha doesn't want to lose on camera, so we're gonna have you guys tie." (The Other Two, S02E10)
  • "You looked so beautiful during the dead daughter segment. I'm literally getting hard just thinking about it." (The Other Two, S02E10)
  • "Hey, stick around, 'cause up next, Jeff Probst is here to sing a song off his new rock album, Survive." (The Other Two, S02E10)
  • Practicing nurse callback (The Other Two, S02E10)
  • "Cary, it has been a long, hard road, but you never gave up and it's all gonna finally pay off for you tomorrow, March 13, 2020. Anyway, in Gay News, Laura Dern fell." (The Other Two, S02E10)
  • The Other Two Season Grade: B
  • "Charmaine wanted one, but you can't sell them to women because, it's…"
    "A men's only pillow."
    "Says so on the box." (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E05)
  • Ghost Face mask (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E05)
  • "My techniques and my methods might be a bit old-fashioned."
    "May I approach the bitch?" (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E05)
  • "If I may quote my favorite comedian, Monty Python, 'We better get a bucket.'" (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E05)
  • "And he's got an enchanted nutsack as well, apparently." (What We Do in the Shadows, S03E05)
  • ♫: Philip Bailey and Phil Collins – "Easy Lover" (Ted Lasso, S02E10)
  • "When I get home, I will set them on fire, and their memory will burn in hell."
    "Jesus, Dani."
    "Jesús has no place in the conversation of these damn shoes." (Ted Lasso, S02E10)
  • "Are you going to charge me for this session?"
    "Of course I am."
    "For the house call."
    "I appreciate your integrity." (Ted Lasso, S02E10)
  • "Sam, you're so kind and loving and…wise. But…"
    "Oh, no. I hate big buts, and I cannot lie." (Ted Lasso, S02E10)
  • "I thought he was black. That's Rick Astley?" (Ted Lasso, S02E10)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Underground Railroad
The New AR™TV World Comedy Champion: The Other Two

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