Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

15. Welcome to Jackass (WWE WrestleMania 38, 03 Apr 2022)


Stray Observations


(WWE WrestleMania 38, 03 Apr 2022)

  • "Jerry, what the hell do I do about Kareem? It's a brick wall."
    "Well, don't offer him any pork." (Winning Time, S01E05)
  • "You'll feel it when you're getting fisted." (Winning Time, S01E05)
  • "You know what they say about Wood, right?"
    "What?"
    "Word on the street, dude cut the skin off his own dick."
    "Ooh!"
    "I heard that, too. Circumcised his own self with a rock and a razor." (Winning Time, S01E05)
  • "I would just like to speak to everybody in the same room at the same time. 'Cause, once upon a time, I had three daughters."
    "Mm, it's not that hard."
    "Once upon a time, I had three children."
    "I'm not a child anymore."
    "Once upon a time, I had three offspring cunt trophies who used to interact with me, and now they only interact with their screens." (Better Things, S05E07)
  • "Richard, I will meet you later at the Regal Beagle. I am getting a call now from Mr. Roper." (Better Things, S05E07)
  • "Okay… Uncle Faggot will see you tonight at the gay party!" (Better Things, S05E07)
  • Asian supermarket (Better Things, S05E07)
  • A fish named Gefilte (Better Things, S05E07)
  • "I have to tell you something. Remember back to school specials? Remember? Honey… She didn't have mono."
    "What?"
    "She was eating banana sandwiches. With mayonnaise." (Better Things, S05E07)
  • "So after that, you're attending the LA River cleanup, where they'd love for you to drink just a little cup of water." (Mr. Mayor, S02E04)
  • [Rat Corpses]
    "That gets its own bucket?" (Mr. Mayor, S02E04)
  • "People who wear beads can go to law school." (Mr. Mayor, S02E04)
  • "Jayden doesn't have the raw animosity to convincingly pass as a Scorpio."
    "You can do this, Jayden. Just, like, everyone you talk to is the person who canceled Ducktales."
    "Expressing anger already. Classic Scorpio."
    "You think you're so smart, it's embarrassing! You need to start thinking about what I want to do with my Saturdays, not steal my joy like some sort of corporate Magica De Spell." (Mr. Mayor, S02E04)
  • "Jayden, did you get that Scorpio duty done like we had communicated about?"
    "Uh, no, not yet."
    "Okay, Jayden, I mean, let's do it before her water breaks, okay?" (Mr. Mayor, S02E04)
  • "I also own a biker bar in WeHo as Big Butch Betty Bodean."
    "Oh, no."
    "It was a different time in comedy." (Mr. Mayor, S02E04)
  • "Stay. Tuned. For. Sexy. Cop. Trash." (Mr. Mayor, S02E04)
  • "I wish I could just read something, but this superintendent is out to get me. He's gonna be throwing curves like that lady gym." (Abbott Elementary, S01E12)
  • "Yeah, discretionary funds can be used to nurture students artistically so they can grow up and do that graffiti that bougie people don't get mad at."
    "You mean a mural?" (Abbott Elementary, S01E12)
  • "No. Y'all not about to rush me out of here like I'm Lil Mama at the VMAs." (Abbott Elementary, S01E12)
  • "And it's not like y'all been making it rain up in here. We've been taking appetizer money and giving these kids a charcuterie experience." (Abbott Elementary, S01E12)
  • "Did you… Did you shake someone down for me?"
    "I shook someone down for us." (Abbott Elementary, S01E12)


(Moon Knight, S01E02)

  • "It's a paperweight."
    "Where'd you get it?"
    "Paperweight shop." (Moon Knight, S01E02)
  • Mandarin? (Moon Knight, S01E02)
  • "Would she kill a child for something they might do in 30 years?"
    "I'm glad you mentioned that. Sometimes, the cure is a little taste of the disease. The difference between medicine and poison sometimes is only dosage. Consider a diseased limb. Amputation, horrific and grotesque, is necessary for the larger health."
    "But the child is not a diseased limb. Sorry, is that…? Is that what…? You're all into that, like, killing children and that? Maybe that's just me, but that's… I kind of draw a line there at child murder." (Moon Knight, S01E02)
  • "You're in the wrong ends, mate." (Moon Knight, S01E02)
  • "Wagwan!" (Moon Knight, S01E02)
  • "I got a son that puts white people above their father and money before God." (Snowfall, S05E08)


Background (Snowfall, S05E08)

  • "Your life is my failure." (Snowfall, S05E08)
  • Fredo kiss (Snowfall, S05E08)
  • "Things could be worse. You could be living in Missouri." (Tokyo Vice, S01E02)
  • "Fuck¡ng love manga."
    "Really?"
    "Yeah. Dragon Head? So good."
    "Do you know 20th Century Boys?" (Tokyo Vice, S01E03)
  • "Joyce, I got reporters calling me from everywhere — from the San Francisco Chronicle, from the Philadelphia Inquirer."
    "That's a lesser paper." (Minx, S01E07)
  • "There are no coincidences. Chairman Mao taught me that." (Minx, S01E07)
  • "You really think we're gonna be sitting here in 40 years talking about Goldie Hawn?"
    "Not just her, her children. She's going to start an empire."
    "That's not a world I want to live in." (Minx, S01E07)
  • "Were we slave owners?"
    "No, we— Do you see any slaves in our backyard?"
    "Mr. Pedro."
    "Mr. Pe—? No, I pay Mr. Pedro." (Atlanta, S03E04)
  • "Did you get your results back?"
    "69% Ashkenazi Jew, baby!"
    "You're Jew? Eh, you're Jewish?"
    "The world can finally know. We were slaves, too."
    "The Austro-Hungarians were slaves as well."
    "Come on, Marshall. That was like a million years ago." (Atlanta, S03E04)


(Atlanta, S03E04)

  • "You honestly want my advice?"
    "Uh, yes."
    "Look, man, I grew up with Black women."
    "Right. I figured."
    "The only thing you can do is say you were wrong and give her as much money as you can. She'll probably want to meet with you one-on-one, cut you down a bi—"
    [cut to asking white co-workers for advice] (Atlanta, S03E04)


Changing skin color (Atlanta, S03E04)

  • "This could have easily happened to you."
    "I'm Peruvian. This would never happen to me."
    "Per— You were white yesterday!" (Atlanta, S03E04)
  • "I have a feeling we're in the same boat, Marshall." « S03E01 (Atlanta, S03E04)
  • "Confession is not absolution." (Atlanta, S03E04)
  • "I've got other things I could do tonight, Diana. I've got a really massive shit brewin'. I could sit and read a book and birth that beauty." (Slow Horses, S01E03)
  • </Severance, S01>

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