Today I feel disabled

A re-make?

No, a re-imagining.

Who asked for this?

From Universal's direct-to-video arm.

2014: Jarhead 2
2015: The Man with the Iron Fists 2
2016: Kindergarten Cop 2
2016: Hard Target 2
2017: Big Fat Liar 2
2017: Cop and a Half 2
2018: Tales from the Hood 2
2019: The Benchwarmers 2
2019: How High 2
2019: Backdraft 2
2019: Inside Man 2
2019: Undercover Brother 2
2020: Bulletproof 2
2020: Sudden Death 2
2022: 47 Ronin 2
2022: R.I.P.D. 2

Leave no I.P. unmilked.

"We are excited to announce a thrilling new The River Wild story, with fresh characters and a story that brings the universe to new audiences." [source]

The universe of perilous whitewater rafting trips?

Aside: When was the last time you heard about anyone going whitewater rafting?

Blake Lively in The Shallows.
Chace Crawford is The Deep.
Leighton Meester in The River Wild.
Ed Westwick in upcoming underwater thriller Deep Fear

Who asked for this?

Martin Sensmeier will star and reprise his role as Chip Hanson.

And without Jeremy Renner or Elizabeth Olsen?

Patrick Massett and John Zinman penned the sequel screenplay.

Or Taylor Sheridan?!

Patrick Massett and John Zinman…are executive producers of Sword Art Online.

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