Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

12. Junkies (Swarm, S01E02+03)

Stray Observations

  • "So time heals all wounds, I guess."
    "It wasn't time that did it." (The Last of Us, S01E09)
  • </The Last of Us, S01>
  • "Sorry about that. We got distracted. Little guy was trying to unlock Princess Peach on Super Smash Bros."
    "Totally understand. I once held an entire flight to Sydney hostage until I finished the final level of Breath of the Wild." (Ted Lasso, S03E01)
  • "Fuck pundits."
    "You were a pundit."
    "Yeah. And all we did was talk shit and eat fucking meringues." (Ted Lasso, S03E01)
  • "I understand. I just don't think Ms. Welton will have a whole lot to say about the unfair advantage of being a female owner in sports. Thank you. Fuck you, Joe Rogan." (Ted Lasso, S03E01)
  • "Taungsdays, am I right?" (The Mandalorian, S03E03)
  • "What in the Lee Daniels?"
    "Wait, I don't get it."
    "Who is Lee Daniels?" (Abbott Elementary, S02E19)
  • "It's like going to see Paramore without Hayley Williams."
    "There are other people in that band?" (Abbott Elementary, S02E19)
  • "Who is Jazmine Sulliv—?" (Abbott Elementary, S02E19)
  • "This is really inspiring. I didn't think I'd be able to have sex when I got old…but I'm gonna fuck forever." (Shrinking, S01E09)
  • "Gaby, academia is the fifth circle of hell. It goes babies, musicals, magic, kale, academia."
    "Don't come for magic. You know I went to magic camp, okay? I can pull shit out of your ears that would astound you." (Shrinking, S01E09)
  • </BMF, S02>
  • "Now, what went wrong?"
    "Well, eventually as we were hooking up, the music switched to a very particular song."
    [♫: Ne-Yo – "So Sick"]
    "Oh, no. That's a breakup anthem."
    "Well, I tried to push through, but eventually the song just got the best of me, and my emotions just came out."
    "Oh, damn. So you cried in front of her."
    "No, no, I cried, but I didn't cry in front of her."
    "I—I don't understand."
    "Okay. Um… Ah. You know how when you go to the bakery, you typically order your pastries at the front counter?"
    "Yeah, you know, but if the baker really likes you, then sometimes, they'll invite you to the kitchen."
    "To taste some special pastries in the back."
    "Oh. Oh… Oh! Oh!!! So you was eating in the back of the bakery."
    "Yes. I was eating in the back of the bakery."
    "Yeah! Wait a second. Does that mean…"
    "You cried in the back of the bakery?"
    "What did she say and how did this whole situation end?"
    "Well, I didn't technically end it."
    "If I left the kitchen, she would have known something was up."
    "So you stayed in the back of the bakery?"
    "Yes, I stayed in the back of the bakery."
    "I don't want to get too deep into my relationship with Kristen, but I will say I have never cried while eating [bleep]." (Grand Crew, S02E03)
  • "Was that about your callback?"
    "Well, I hoped it might be, but it was just some lady. Apparently, my car warranty's expired." (Party Down, S03E04)
  • "Look, I talked to these guys, okay? We would get a better response if we went more '90s. Blink, Matchbox, okay? There's a new generation of deadbeats that have no connection to Sting at all." (Party Down, S03E04)
  • "Was it a H-yun-dai Sonata?" (Party Down, S03E04)
  • "Oh, my God, I can't stop tingling! This is so fucking crazy. I feel like Halsey." (Swarm, S01E02)
  • "Hey, Siri? Who's Halsey?" (Swarm, S01E02)
  • ♫: Juvenile – "Back That Azz Up [feat. Mannie Fresh and Lil Wayne]" (Swarm, S01E02)
  • "I-I didn't say that. I-I didn't."
    "But you did. And I got the receipts."
    "Nigga, Twitter?!" (Swarm, S01E03)
  • "You know who that was? The chick from Love and Basketball." (Swarm, S01E03)
  • "I've never met an old white woman that ate Hot Cheetos." (Swarm, S01E03)
  • </Swarm, S01>

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