Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

24. Jaleel White (The Eric Andre Show, S06E02)

Stray Observations

  • "Who hasn't? Who among us has not had cսm on their face? I, I think it used to be fun. Didn't it used to be f– Wasn't that a hot date years ago?" (The Idol, S01E01)
  • "Twitter is calling her the human cum sock!" (The Idol, S01E01)
  • "Okay, the thought of you younger is terrifying to me."
    "I was having fun. I was getting fucked in the ass of the Capitol Records building stairwell and then walking straight into meetings." (The Idol, S01E01)
  • "I've never fucked anyone with a rat-tail before." (The Idol, S01E01)
  • "Pop music is like the ultimate Trojan Horse. Ya get people to dance, ya get people to sing along. Could say whatever you want. Shit's powerful." (The Idol, S01E01)
  • "Do you ever listen to Donna Summer? 'Love to Love You Baby'? When she sings, there's no doubt that she knows how to fuck. You could hear it in her voice. You can feel it." (The Idol, S01E01)
  • "Dude, I totally know you. We were at the Quibi funeral." (The Eric Andre Show, S06E01)

(The Eric Andre Show, S06E01)

  • Yeastie Boys (Platonic, S01E05)
  • "Oh, my God. Is that Machine Gun Kelly?"
    "He looks like something from, uh, the Simon Wiesenthal Center." (Platonic, S01E05)
  • "I'm worried you're having one of those brain glitches where you get obsessed with something like a Roomba stuck in a corner." (Platonic, S01E05)
  • "When I meet a boring person, I like to ask them questions. Like, 'What's the first exhibit you go to at the zoo?'"
    "Which one do you go to first?"
    "The shrimps."
    "What?" (Platonic, S01E05)
  • "How much money are you spending on these Dwayne Johnson energy drinks?"
    "Quite a bit. I basically live on them now."
    "Maybe you could cut back a little bit. I mean, you don't have to buy everything The Rock tries to sell you, you know." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S16E01)
  • "Well, listen, I don't really have any interest in your, uh, bulk tin of low-end economy nuts." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S16E01)
  • "Now, Frank, would you like to start this meeting off with a fancy nut?" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S16E01)
  • "So, look, guys, let's pool all of our remaining nut together and turn it into a big pile of green, and then everybody gets a taste."
    "Okay, I didn't love the sound of that, but, uh…" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S16E01)
  • "Well, this is great. This is just great. You know, like, now what are we supposed to all put our teeth in?" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S16E02)
  • "Simu Liu re-created an entire Applebee's for her?" (The Other Two, S03E07)
  • "And remember, you're at dinner, so have fun, uh, but also, it's Applebee's, so there should be some deadness behind the eyes, kinda like, uh, 'We could've eaten anywhere. Why'd we choose here?' sort of thing." (The Other Two, S03E07)
  • "Yeah, Simu Liu is such a good daddy." (The Other Two, S03E07)
  • "I worked very hard to find the extra right bad ones. My fave is probably this one right here that simply says 'piss.'"
    "Yes, I can see that it does say 'piss' on my son's chest."
    "And this one here is Piglet, but with tits. And then under his arm is Eeyore, but with tits. And on his back is the day his dad died."
    "I'm sorry, how is that one bad?"
    "I mean, you didn't let me finish. With tits. Bing-bong." (The Other Two, S03E07)
  • "I don't see it on the menu, but I'm gonna have the peas and carrots that everyone's talking about, sometimes at the same time on top of each other?" (The Other Two, S03E07)
  • "I'm absolutely not doing that, Simu Liu." (The Other Two, S03E07)
  • "You came up with the most bad man there is: A good man." (The Other Two, S03E07)
  • "I helped you get Gay Minute and Age Net Worth Feet! All I do is support you!" (The Other Two, S03E07)
  • "I mean, for the last month, all I've been able to do 'for my safety' is sit on a private jet and get eaten out non-stop by Marvel's Simu Liu. Like, that's my whole life." (The Other Two, S03E07)
  • </Top Chef, S20>

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