» What is the point of decaffeinated coffee? Why foul your breath and stain your teeth without receiving any stimulation?

» Has anyone ever needed staples that bend outward? Has anyone ever needed to bend staple legs outward?

» The IT guy at work is always "on," and I'm struggling to feign amusement.

» The IT guy saw me pull into the office parking lot in my Lexus.

Oh God… "The temp drives a Lexus?" But it's a hand-me-down from the mid-90s! I have to insert CDs in the trunk! And petrol is fuckin' $3.41 a gallon!

At least I'm getting paid for this gig. "The intern drives a Lexus?" was super awkward.

» Like tying a tie, I am seemingly unable to grasp how to cradle a baby. No baby has yet complained about my cradling, but I'm positive that all of them were uncomfortable in my arms.

» Impacted earwax is noticeably impacting hearing in my left ear. I want to remove it myself, but am hesitant to try after reading the caveats on medical web sites. I could see an otologist, but don't have medical insurance. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

» Add "Animal" by Neon Trees to my torture playlist. At first, I thought it was a Julian Casablancas song and could not endure it even more.

• SKATEISTAN – To live and skate in Kabul
• Bread People
• Organ Trail (Beta)