Never trust a big butt and a smile

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10 years ago today, Beastie Boy Adam Yauch's documentary Gunnin' For That #1 Spot was released. The film follows eight of the USA's then-premiere high school basketball players on the fast track to the NBA.

Welp, they didn't amount to much, but all but one is still in the league.

Let's rank their careers!

8. Donté Greene
Currently playing in the Dominican Republic's Liga Nacional de Baloncesto after a stint in Lebanon.

7. Kyle Singler
Went from starting for the Pistons to being the last man off the Thunder's bench. 2010 NCAA champion, though.

6. Brandon Jennings
The number one high school basketball prospect in the country turned journeyman.

5. Jerryd Bayless
If nothing else, has bagged the third most money of this octet.

4. Michael Beasley
Started 30 games last season.

3. Lance Stephenson
Longtime nemesis of LeBron James. Became a meme.

2. Tyreke Evans
Beat out Steph Curry for 2010 NBA Rookie of the Year. Last season was quietly his best one to date.

1. Kevin Love
2016 NBA champion. Reported centrepiece of the new-look Cavaliers.

Yauch's previous film Awesome; I Fuckin' Shot That! presaged modern concertgoing.

His Breath Smell Like Uno Cards

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SEATBELT PSYCHIC surprises unsuspecting ride-share passengers with readings featuring world-renowned medium Thomas John.

Cash Cab.
Cash Cab but with karaoke.
Cash Cab but with psychic readings.

What else?

uberPOOL Escape Room: Work together with strangers to unlock the passenger doors of a limousine.

Megabus Murder Mystery: Most of the passengers on the bus are hired actors.

TLC's DR. PIMPLE POPPER, featuring Instagram and YouTube's popular dermatologist Dr. Sandra Lee, will premiere on Wednesday, July 11.

Same day as Seatbelt Psychic.

Lee is tasked with removing life-altering growths from her patients' skin so they can try to reclaim their lives.

Join the conversation on social media by using the hashtag #DrPimplePopper, and 'Like' Dr. Pimple Popper: This Is Zit on Facebook.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

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25. Pony Play (Desus and Mero, 06-20-18)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations


(Claws, S02E02)

  • ♫: Awkwafina – "My Vag" (Claws, S02E02)
  • "Humans will always choose what they understand over what they do not. But the only animals left in this world are the ones who they subjugated, who curl at their feet, or those who learn to flee at the very sound of their approach. There's nothing in between." (Westworld, S02E09)
  • Joe Pera Talks With You Season Grade: B
  • Brockmire Season Grade: D

» "Well, you should get some desk candies that don't taste like medicine."
"That is my medicine."
"Oh, my god, I am so sorry! I am so sorry I ate all your medicine."
[…]
"Oh, my god…"

"Oh. Uhh, I ate her medicine, and you should probably call a doctor for her." (Detroiters, S02E01)


(Luke Cage, S02E01)


(Luke Cage, S02E02)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Deuce
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Joe Pera Talks With You

#clipoftheweek

Looking forward:

Sharp Objects = from the writer of Gone Girl
Mostly 4 Millennials = from Eric Andre
Dark Tourist = from the journo behind Tickled
Disenchantment = from Matt Groening
Castle Rock = Stephen King-dom Hearts

Penis Hernandez

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Combine your zodiac symbol with your Chinese zodiac animal.

A: Dog scales. Meh.

Dragon produces the best combinations.

Libra + Dragon = Dragon scale.
Gemini + Dragon = Jackie Chan film or NES beat-'em-up game.
Virgo + Dragon = Daenerys Targaryen.

Napoleon Dynamite's favourite animal = Leo + Tiger.

Haribo variant or Metal Gear Solid remake for Gamecube = Gemini + Snake.


Mortal kombatants = Scorpio + Snake.

An unbelievable story = Rooster + Taurus.

Against the groin = Rooster + Aquarius. Water bearer = cup.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

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24. Haller vs. Farouk (Legion, S02E11)

♫: "Behind Blue Eyes" in Farsi

Stray Observations

Stray Observations

  • "What about monsoons?"
    » [WHAT ABOUT MONSOONS?] (Ghosted, S01E10)
  • ♫: HAIM – "The Wire" (Ghosted, S01E10)
  • "Tonight is important night. We are trying to book Milo Yiannopoulos to DJ a baby shower." (Claws, S02E01)
  • ♫: Bryan Ferry – "Slave to Love" (Pose, S01E02)
  • "You talking about dreams? Aspirations? Those are only words that only last in the suburbs." (Pose, S01E02)
  • "What are you?"
    "I'm no one. I want what I'm supposed to want, I wear what I'm supposed to wear, and I work where I'm supposed to work. I stand for nothing. I've never fought in a war, and I probably won't ever have to, 'cause the next one's gonna kill us all. I can buy things I can't afford, which means they're never really mine. I don't live. I don't believe. I accumulate. I'm a brand – a middle-class white guy. But you're who you are even though the price you pay for it is being disinvited from the rest of the world. I'm the one playing dress-up. Is it wrong to want to be with one of the few people in the world who isn't, to have one person in my life who I know is real?" (Pose, S01E02)
  • "Is your driver going uptown?"
    "Yes. Subway's two blocks away." (Pose, S01E02)
  • ♫: Piano "Heart-Shaped Box" (Westworld, S02E08)
  • "My pain was selfish, because it was never only mine. For every body in this place, there was someone who mourned their loss, even if they didn't know why. We were all bound together, the living and the damned." (Westworld, S02E08)
  • "Everybody's probably doing a cool new dance move."
    » [raising the roof] (Joe Pera Talks With You, S01E07)
  • "I just wonder what colour underwear I need to wear to get my New Year's wish: a commercial deli slicer." (Joe Pera Talks With You, S01E07)
  • "Pera's Four Stages of Watching Fireworks" (Joe Pera Talks With You, S01E07)
  • "Maybe I'm wrong, but I bet that even Chinese tech billionaire Jack Ma imagines what life would be like if he were Indian tech billionaire Shiv Nadar." (Joe Pera Talks With You, S01E07)
  • David, Divad, and DVD (Legion, S02E11)
  • ♫: Jeff Russo and Noah Hawley – "Nothin' in the World Can Stop Me Worryin' 'Bout That Girl" (Legion, S02E11)
  • Rape? (Legion, S02E11)
  • Legion Season Grade: C
  • Pictorial schedule (The Handmaid's Tale, S02E09)
  • "Milk, lavender, anise, White Yarrow. What, are we gonna forage into the woods or something?"
    "Hm. There's a place you can go to get all these things."
    "Where is that?"
    » [Whole Foods] (Cloak and Dagger, S01E03)
  • ♫: Alex Da Kid and Joseph Angel – "American Funeral" (Cloak and Dagger, S01E03)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Deuce
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Joe Pera Talks With You

#clipoftheweek

Meme Lord

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The player character is a bottlenose dolphin who travels through time to combat hostile extraterrestrials in Earth's oceans and on an alien spacecraft.

That's the premise of Ecco the Dolphin?!

I never played it.


Maneater is a Single-Player Action RPG, set in the unforgiving waters of the Gulf Coast.

Play as a giant Bull Shark and terrorize the coastal waterways. Tear swimmers and divers limb from limb, give the humans a reason to fear you.

Experience a compelling tale of revenge centered around a human who slaughtered your mother and left you for dead. The ocean isn't big enough for both of you.

On Thursday, June 21 the Fresno Grizzlies will rebrand for one game as the Zamunda Lions.

Coming. to. America. night.

A first-base concession stand will be transformed into McDowell's.

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