Look Up

on

// Las Vegas, NV

[karaoke]

We sit down and white man with shoulder-length hair in a suit and tie goes up to perform "Tainted Love."

The Marilyn Manson version?

Said man later returns to perform "Stan" by Eminem.

Then I see him performing a card trick at a table.

Oh, he's a magician!

A Latin-ish man goes up to perform "Humble." by Kendrick Lamar, smoothly self-censoring all expletives, from "bitch" to the N word.

Said man later returns to perform "Not Like Us" —

A Kendrick aficionado.

— and then "N-gg-s in Paris."

Real "you aight brown boy" from our Black MC.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

on

48. The Varriors (What We Do in the Shadows, S06E09)

Stray Observations

  • Fuzzball from Captain EO (Skeleton Crew, S01E02)
  • "And you are no longer part of the family. Capisce?"
    "Because you rejected your vampire family."
    "I didn't—"
    "Yeah. The 'vamily.'"
    "Oh, Colin Robinson, no." (What We Do in the Shadows, S06E09)
  • "Have you ever seen feet move at this medium pace?" (What We Do in the Shadows, S06E09)
  • "Jacob, you're still on the wait list."
    "Just like Morehouse. [sigh]" (Abbott Elementary, S04E07)
  • "Looks like the gene pool was above ground and inflatable, if you know what I mean." (Creature Commandos, S01E01)
  • ♫: Korpiklaani – "Juodaan Viina" (Creature Commandos, S01E01)
  • "Well, birth is always horrible. God's gift to humans is he lets you forget it. Science isn't so forgiving." (Creature Commandos, S01E02)
  • ♫: Kaizers Orchestra – "Ompa Til Du Der" (Creature Commandos, S01E02)
  • "I have a cheese grater in the dishwasher. I have a peeler. I have skewers. I have a kettle. I have a Nutribullet. And so help me God, I'm gonna shove little pieces of you into it and turn you into a fucking smoothie if you don't start talking." (Black Doves, S01E02)
  • </Black Doves, S01>

A Sentient Object Monster Romance

on

Previously on Adam Riff™:

BET+ strikes again.

When Morgan Brewster, a wealthy heiress who has lost her way, faces a Christmas challenge to inherit her uncle Monty Brewster's grandfather's fortune, she must learn the true meaning of love, faith, and family by giving instead of receiving, all while navigating the charming chaos, and the true meaning of the holiday season. [source]

A heartwarming, gender-swapped, Christmas movie sequel to Brewster's Millions?

Ha. Richard Pryor's son plays Monty.

Another Trailer Park Boys movie?

A viral internet clip of Bubbles and his band lands them a European tour opening for Billy Bob Thornton. With Randy as their roadie, they head to Prague but soon get kicked off the tour, busking to survive. Can Ricky and Julian come to the rescue? [source]

I mean, sure…

Martin Freeman is also in this?!

Girls don't twerk to jokes

on

GIRLS GONE WILD: THE UNTOLD STORY (PEACOCK)
Premieres Tuesday, December 3
(3 episodes)

Including Joe Francis' first in-depth, in-person, on-the-record interview with a journalist in almost a decade, as well as exclusive access to his former employees, enemies, and survivors, Girls Gone Wild: The Untold Story offers an astonishing and wide-ranging account of a man whose impact on American culture cannot be overstated, whose alleged sins are numerous, and who now lives in exile on a sprawling estate in Mexico amidst the rubble of his once mighty empire.

GLITTER AND GREED: THE LISA FRANK STORY (AMAZON)
Premieres Thursday, December 5
(4 episodes)

Glitter and Greed: The Lisa Frank Story penetrates the neon-hued world of Lisa Frank Inc., a brand that defined girlhood for a generation of Americans only to seemingly disappear overnight. Behind the rainbows and psychedelic illustrations, we unravel a nostalgia-soaked, stranger-than-fiction tale that takes us into the hidden world that has been lurking at the heart of the company for decades. Features never-before-seen footage and over twenty interviews with Lisa Frank, Inc. insiders, enthusiasts, and journalists.

Streqming was a mistake.

Oh, the same company made both docu-series!

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

on


47. Fury Rodent (Human vs. Hamster, S01E03)

Stray Observations

  • "So, we save the movie, and then we focus on me, because they use buckets in Armenian jails. They're still on the bucket system." (The Franchise, S01E08)
  • </The Franchise, S01>
  • "What are you up to, you creamy snake? All dressed up like a bowl of millet." (What We Do in the Shadows, S06E08)
  • "Ah. Good evening, sir. Can I interest you in a meal? A succulent Chinese meal?" (What We Do in the Shadows, S06E08)
  • "I think her vagina is pulsing for you." (What We Do in the Shadows, S06E08)
  • "We go too far back. I mean, we're like Stephanie Cmar and Kristen Kish in the Seattle season of Top Chef." (What We Do in the Shadows, S06E08)
  • "Maybe humans are such depressing, weird freaks because, you know, they try so hard to be normal that they repress all their most horny desires. And then they just end up squirting themselves to death."
    "Well, wise words. Maybe you're a Carrie after all." (What We Do in the Shadows, S06E08)
  • "You're stretching it!"
    "Wouldn't be the first time." (What We Do in the Shadows, S06E08)

Tylenol Donuts

on

Firefighters know that they can re-use a video of deep frying a turkey gone wrong, right?

Sketch Idea: A lookalike contest for an Asian actor where the crowd thinks all the lookalikes look like the actor.

Snack Idea: Chocolate chip fortune cookies.

I stumbled upon a business in Indiana that makes fancy fortune cookies. They make grape soda-flavored fortune cookies, but not chocolate chip ones.

Startin' to see spaceships on Rosecrans

on

21st Century Fox films:

Big
After wishing to appear female, a teenage boy wakes the next morning to find himself mysteriously in the body of an adult trad wife.

Home Alone
An eight-year-old troublemaker who has been radicalized online must defend his home against the Wetback Bandits.

Mrs. Doubtfire
A podcaster disguises himself as a DEI expert to spend time with his children after they cut him off for voting for Trump.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

on

46. Father Daughter Dance (Landman, S01E01)

Stray Observations

  • "Oh my God! He's sitting in my fucking chair. Oh, that's it, mother. In she goes. Un-fucking-believable. The moment that lady's cheeks made contact with the canvas, a way of life ended." (The Franchise, S01E07)
  • "I've seen this before."
    "Yes, I've seen this before too. Sean is possessed by a demon."
    "Oh, I thought you meant you'd seen Sean's basement before." (What We Do in the Shadows, S06E07)
  • "My friend Sean here, he had a demon in him and his possession has sent him into, what they call in the medical profession, a real fucking shitstorm."
    "We all have WebMD now, don't we? Well, it wasn't a heart attack, if that's what you're referring to. The technical term is a non-ST elevation myocardial infarction."
    "Did he say 'fuck Sean'?"
    "I did not say that." (What We Do in the Shadows, S06E07)
  • "Koreans are the most fun Asians." (Interior Chinatown, S01E01)
  • ♫: James Carr – "The Dark End of the Street" (Interior Chinatown, S01E04)
  • "Deodorant? Why'd you even book this? Asians don't use deodorant. We smell good all the time." (Interior Chinatown, S01E08)
  • "Oh, we can't throw it away. We're Asian. We don't waste—" (Interior Chinatown, S01E08)
  • "So you're just a full-time artist now?"
    "The term is mangaka." (Interior Chinatown, S01E09)
  • "Mike's gonna pay for this. No one appropriates Chinese culture other than me." (Interior Chinatown, S01E09)
  • "I've been doing digging through all these corporate records and HBWC is registered as Hulu, Black and White Corporation."
    "Hulu?"
    "Yeah."
    "What is a Hulu?"
    "Hulu is a type of container in Mandarin."
    "Container for what?"
    "For people."
    "Whoever these Hulu fucks are, they're the ones controlling your story." (Interior Chinatown, S01E10)
  • </Interior Chinatown, S01>
  • "And I will watch that movie. What's the name of it again? Donald… Donald Ducko?"
    "Yes, that is the FBI mob informant movie I told you about." (A Man on the Inside, S01E04)
  • "Look at this. If I want new salt shakers, the company makes me fill out a form like applying for a mortgage."
    "Thanks, Obama."
    "Oh no. You were serious." (A Man on the Inside, S01E06)
  • </A Man on the Inside, S01>