Why don't they have holes in underwear for your ass? Why don't they make boxer shorts with a flyhole for your ass so you don't have to drop trou to take a shit? When I buy a house, the first thing I'm gonna do is…
Date Archives March 2001
Do You Think I've Gone Too Far?
I am pissed off at the gay community. Why did they have to make the rainbow one of their symbols? Now, every time it stops raining, I can't help but think about anal sex, not that there's anything inherently wrong with anal sex. I like…
I'm Right, You're Wrong
Stanford is gonna win the NCAA championship. When did I become a real estate agent in Canada? www.jonyu.com
Get Over It
Jonathan Yu's 25th movie of the year Allison (Melissa Sagemiller) breaks up with boyfriend Berke (Ben Foster), and suddenly his best friend's younger sister (Kirsten Dunst) doesn't seem so young anymore. I was at this movie's premiere and boy, is Sisqó short. Anyway, despite being…
15 Minutes
Jonathan Yu's 18th movie of the year A famous homicide detective (Robert DeNiro) and a fire marshal (Edward Burns) team up to solve a serial killer case. 15 minutes shorter is what this movie should have been. Falling prey to the same bad habit that…
Sticks and Stones
faggot faggot faggot faggot faggot faggot faggot faggot faggot faggot faggot faggot faggot faggot faggot faggot faggot faggot If this offended you, don't listen to Eminem's The Marshall Mathers LP.
The Mexican
Jonathan Yu's 22nd movie of the year A man (Brad Pitt) tries to transport an ancient gun called The Mexican, believed to carry a curse, back across the border, while his girlfriend (Julia Roberts) pressures him to give up his criminal ways. The Mexican is…
Earth Calling: "Pilot to Co-Pilot"
Yummy down on this: would you rather choke on a hot dog or drown in mayonnaise? It's Eating Disorder Awareness Week here at UCLA. Look, if you have an eating disorder and you aren't aware of it, a theme week is not gonna help. Go…
In Other News
Cancerous penis replaced with finger Students rally against porn Dirty-talking Toy Story dolls investigated Mob hacks Guatemalan judge to death Man accidentally saws penis into six pieces Man 'threatened to shoot girlfriend with potatoes' Father severs penis with saw after bet goes wrong Sex-starved moose…
The Decline of Western Civilization
"a series devoted to icons of american culture" JellyBath Till now, a bathtub full of gelatinous cherry goodness required both patience and hella Jell-O. Enter JellyBath: Just add hot water and transform an ordinary bathtub into a womblike experience, placenta and all. Offering the unique…