Easter: the aftermath.

If I could sue everybody who's ever called me a "fucking retard" for defamation of character, I'd be a fucking rich "fucking retard." Elizabeth is a psychology major. Eric is a film and/or English major. Jose is a journalism major. Sarah is a biology major….

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Why must Passover be so fuckin' long? I thought that's what Hanukkah was for. It just so happens that during Passover, the dining halls at school only serve "Passover friendly" food. This week, I've eaten Passover friendly meatloaf, Passover friendly lasagna, and Passover friendly eggplant…

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What are these mysterious boosts they put in your drinks at Jamba Juice? They claim these boosts help your body absorb more of what it needs (crack?), what with being chock full of vitamins, minerals, amino acids, and herbs, but dammit, those sacks of powder…

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I don't know when it started. I think it was last August. I was bored, anchored in front of the television sifting through 900 channels of unwatchable crap, when I stumbled upon something I'd never thought would interest me. But there I sat, completely engrossed…

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I heard David Sedaris and Sarah Vowell speak at Royce Hall on Thursday night. Funny shit. "When I was growing up pretentious…" I saw a guy using a headset connected to his cell phone so that he wouldn't have to hold the phone while talking….

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Am I hot or not? Derek Fong, I'm going to MIT too. How do you spell pathetic? Kids should be kids. Who knew that sewing could be this much fun?

Notes on my spring break: Matt Neely and Paige Price are moving in together, while Andy Paul is moving to Sacramento. It was Tolerance Week at Mountain View High School. Jose said, "A lot of white guys must hit on you." What the fuck? This…

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