A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…a bored little shit made his presence known on the internet with one simple question: "do you think Michael Jackson's penis got smaller as his body got whiter?" Yes, Jonathan Yu's website is one year old…
Date Archives September 2001
Twenty-Seven Teeth
Good news! The Summer Entertainment Awards are back! This year, they are brought to you with a little help from my friends. Thanks to the Associated Press, Colin, cowloot, Dan, Entertainment Weekly, mtv.com, Rolling Stone, and especially Spin magazine for letting me steal, knowingly and…
Bouillabaisse Boyee
"You jacked off to Apocalypse Now?" "Well, I was at a loss for porn." "But……Apocalypse Now?" "Hey, the movie has Playboy bunnies in it." "True, but the Playboy bunnies are there FOR DRAMATIC EFFECT, not so you can get in touch with your own jizz!…
VMA Replicase
All right, this is either gonna work well or suck ass. I'm hoping for the former. Jonathan Yu's live coverage of the 2001 MTV Video Music Awards (recorded earlier) begins now. Refresh your internet browser frequently for updates. 6:30 It's the VMA Opening Act. Whoo!…
Turning Japanese
"Proceed with confidence, good fortune awaits." What kind of fortune cookie fortune is that? Wow. You go away for a day and 60s heartthrob Troy Donahue dies. Actually, my oldest cousin was in town and I spent two consecutive nights eating dinner with her and…
Analog Boy in a Digital World
The Fox network has ordered seven one-hour episodes of the reality show I Want a Wife: Alaska. The show will follow four city women as they search for a husband in Alaska from a pool of 40 men. Their prospective mates must prove their worthiness…
The Chickens Have Come Home to Roost
I found out that my boss' brother was a dancer for Britney Spears. How weird is that? The Beastie Boys' Grand Royal record label shut down yesterday, citing "mounting debts, decreasing assets and exceedingly harsh industry conditions." It's a shame, really, because Mike D and…