Do black people like pizza?

Previously on Adam Riff™:
you have a stanford accent

Haha. The pompous stoner — sketch comedy gold.

"Bro, your high is nowhere as illuminating as mine."

Not sure when my flatmates will have time to help me record a podcast, so for now, I'm-a give the last word on Accentgate to Stan, who attended the same high school as me.

1. i've got it too, apparently.
2. but i like to think that people think we have accents because we "enunciate."
3. but that's cause i'm a northern californian with a smug sense of superiority.

"California English is a dialect of the English language spoken in the U.S. state of California."

Fascinating stuff.

Enough phonology. Let's discuss sports.

Last weekend, Roger Federer won the Australian Open in Melbourne, the city to which I plan to retire.

Federer's face bothers me immensely. He always looks slightly constipated, like Renée Zellweger.

I just want to unpinch both their faces.

While not the lousiest American sporting facility moniker (that honor belongs to Monster Park), TD Banknorth Garden boasts the clunkiest cadence. It doesn't flow whatsoever.

"TD Banknorth Garden." Say that ten times fast.

Somewhere in the world there must be a Korean person named Fenway Park.

Ron Artest is trying really hard to fit in.
Silly Ron…