Lunchtime at "work": —I'll meet you guys inside the McDonald's. —Where are you going? —Del Taco. —What's wrong with McDonald's? —I…I don't eat at McDonald's. —What? —I just don't. Haven't in…two years? —Wait, so…you won't eat at McDonald's, but you'll eat at Del Taco? —Dude,…
Date Archives November 2006
Smorgasbored: No, I am not sick!
• Borat – Deleted Movie Scenes [YouTube] • Pic-o-the Year [Sadly, No!] • "We shoot [Friday Night Lights] on location in Texas, and we haven't built a single set" [TV Guide] • Blue Balls and Red Wheels [Rangelife] • Cal fans mistake Cal fan for…
Bond Begins
Turning to face the world's most famous superspy, the bartender asks: "Shaken or stirred, sir?" "Do I look like I care?" comes James Bond's icy reply. Oh ho ho! What a bad ass! Later, when asked what his name is, he retorts: "Your mom." Casino…
Anders Fogh Rasmussen doesn't care about black people
"Fuck this! [My video] cost a million dollars. Pamela Anderson was in it. I was jumping across canyons and shit! If I don't win, the awards show loses credibility." At the MTV Europe Music Awards, Kanye West was so disappointed at not winning for Best…
I Wanna Sex Yu Up
While editing an article a co-worker wrote, I added a line that read: "They stood out like the black guy in Color Me Badd." "That reference is lame," complained my boss. "That's the point!" I argued. "No. I want you to reference something hipper." He…
Northern Ohio
I didn't realize just how desperate Republicans are. Associating her with Scorsese? That's low… Michigan Gubernatorial Candidate Accuses Incumbent Of Consorting With Orphan-Stealing And Bushy-Eyebrowed Hollywood Devils [Defamer]
Smorgasbored: Hay Guyz
• A compilation of every single "Hey" uttered by Mischa Barton during season three of The OC [TVgasm] • We have never heard a more spirited soccer goal call than this one [Deadspin] • Forever Barbie Doll with Tanner the poop-eating dog [Amazon] • The…
Lost
Whenever new old castaways Nikki and Paulo are on screen, I feel like I'm watching Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead, if neither Rosencrantz nor Guildenstern ever appeared in Hamlet.
Brews and Jews
David Kronke on Friday's episode of Law and Order: Chevy Chase gives his funniest performance in about two decades as Mitch Carroll, a washed-up entertainer. Through a clenched jaw that apparently serves as character development, Chevy's Mitch spews such invective as: "Are you a Jew?…