Summer Sanders (Can Figure Me Out)

Over the weekend, I visited my dentist after four years away.

I felt like my teeth were shifting and, afraid to let 10 years of orthodontic work regress, I scheduled a check-up immediately.

My dentist said that teeth will move to wherever they feel comfortable, like old Jews!

Also: I have a few incipient cavities that won't require filling as long as I brush with prescription-strength toothpaste, which cost me an additional $10.

I don't understand how some people (Tony) can go to sleep without first brushing their teeth.

How can you let remnants of dinner and fourthmeal fester in your mouth overnight?

Even if I'm passing out, I'll force myself awake long enough to floss and brush my teeth.

"Your body is a temple. Littering is strictly prohibited."
– Jamba Juice

I once thought Home Alone 3 should be set at a dentist's office.

I am the king of infirminal overreaction.

In Chicago, I had the flu and blew $500 on an emergency room visit. Last fall, I received X-rays over a case of heartburn.

Sometimes I wish I had befriended more medical students, or at least one.

All my friends are like artists and computer engineers who will be of absolutely no help when I develop cancer or suffer a heart attack.

Both of my cousins of my father's side are studying to be dentists. One of my second cousins is an optometrist.

Teeth and eyes – oy…

Any physicians or surgeons want to be my friend?

I still harbour a desire to be a paramedic.

It would be a drastic career change.

Looking forward to the Adam Carolla podcast starting Monday, especially as I have nearly finished listening to my 5+ year Loveline archive [source]


Over the weekend, I dreamt about blogging about 24.

I dreamt that I wrote:

"I knew that Jack was gonna jump-start the guy's heart by attaching the other end of the jumper cable to his own heart, but I didn't know that the jolt would set off a nearby volcano."

Jack vs. the volcano.

Turning 24 into a genre show wouldn't a bad idea. By now, Jack is enough of a caricature that I could buy him thwarting a natural disaster or…Megatron.

I discovered that Hulu lets you excerpt clips, so this is my favourite part of last Thursday's episode of Hell's Kitchen:

"Look at the filet!"

Sorry, international IPeeps.

Comedy bit idea: Chauncey Billups at a Renaissance Faire.

Shiny Toy Guns are playing at this year's Cornerstone Festival, a Christian music festival organized by Jesus People USA.

Last year, Shiny Toy Guns played at the Folsom Street Fair, the world's largest leather subculture event and showcase for BDSM (bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism).

With this kind of appeal, the band could run for president.

the best reddit thread ever
the shortlist for Oddest Book Title of the Year
Boy Killed Anally When Office Chair Explodes


  1. Tony 23 Feb 09 at 05:11

    I brush before bed about 4 days a week now.

  2. Aaron 23 Feb 09 at 10:29

    Haha, he threw meat at him.

  3. jon 23 Feb 09 at 11:26

    I also brush my anal hairs!

  4. Jeremy 24 Feb 09 at 04:24



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