#OMGWTFDVD I know it won an Oscar for 'Best Picture,' but Gladiator seems like such a culturally impactless film for marketers to keep referencing. "From the director of a film you haven't thought about in years." "From the director of a film you spottily remember."…
Date Archives October 2014
Pints For Prostates
"3 times as many dogs have wine-related names in San Francisco." I mean… It's like learning that many Alabamians name their dogs after siblings. 100% of the participants in this study are white people. Only people still naming their daughters Pearl are Asians. They LOVE…
Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week
41. Hatsune Miku (Late Show with David Letterman, 10-09-14) Stray Observations "I like tacos! [fart]" (Bob's Burgers, S05E01) "I just want to go home and crawl into bed and have a good long dutch oven cry." (Bob's Burgers, S05E01) "Also, I'm just an uncle so,…
Fire Walk With Me
Previously on Adam Riff™ (2005): My mother asked a professional fortune teller to assess my future. You're best-suited to live in the northwest. Seattle, Oregon, Vancouver. A move to Seattle or anywhere in the northwest would be most beneficial to your future. Soooo… I know…
Octopus and Scrabble
I haven't stepped foot in Oregon in, G-d, over a decade. When was Cabin Fever released? 2003. Since 2003. Since Late Night with Conan O'Brien's 10th anniversary special. TagMeADate.com Is Like eHarmony For Lonely Wrestling Fans And Hey, Stop Laughing
Justin Timberlake or a Christian comic book
// U District // Capitol Hill A: My brother instituted amber lighting at night. It supposedly helps with circadian rhythm. Thing is, he doesn't, like, dim the lights in his house. No, he and his family all don amber glasses. Even his infant wears a…
Gonna leave it all behind and not say sorry
Today is my birthday. I am now 32 years old. How long until people stop telling me that I'm still young? I'd rather they commiserate with me about feeling old. That a number of my thirtysomething friends are unmarried and childless is comforting.
Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week
40. Don Hertzfeldt's Couch Gag (The Simpsons, S26E01) Honourable Mention Caught masturbating (Black-ish, S01E02) Munchie T (Black Jesus, S01E09) Stray Observations "We gotta carry him 'cause he can't fly on his own. We let that other guy try and look what happened." (Family Guy, S13E01)…
Won't live for anything, but might die for nothing
It is too hot in California right now.