Adam Riff™

46. Father Daughter Dance (Landman, S01E01)

Stray Observations

• "Oh my God! He's sitting in my fucking chair. Oh, that's it, mother. In she goes. Un-fucking-believable. The moment that lady's cheeks made contact with the canvas, a way of life ended." (The Franchise, S01E07)
• "I've seen this before."
  "Yes, I've seen this before too. Sean is possessed by a demon."
  "Oh, I thought you meant you'd seen Sean's basement before." (What We Do in the Shadows, S06E07)
• "My friend Sean here, he had a demon in him and his possession has sent him into, what they call in the medical profession, a real fucking shitstorm."
  "We all have WebMD now, don't we? Well, it wasn't a heart attack, if that's what you're referring to. The technical term is a non-ST elevation myocardial infarction."
  "Did he say 'fuck Sean'?"
  "I did not say that." (What We Do in the Shadows, S06E07)
• "Koreans are the most fun Asians." (Interior Chinatown, S01E01)
• ♫: James Carr – "The Dark End of the Street" (Interior Chinatown, S01E04)
• "Deodorant? Why'd you even book this? Asians don't use deodorant. We smell good all the time." (Interior Chinatown, S01E08)
• "Oh, we can't throw it away. We're Asian. We don't waste—" (Interior Chinatown, S01E08)
• "So you're just a full-time artist now?"
  "The term is mangaka." (Interior Chinatown, S01E09)
• "Mike's gonna pay for this. No one appropriates Chinese culture other than me." (Interior Chinatown, S01E09)
• "I've been doing digging through all these corporate records and HBWC is registered as Hulu, Black and White Corporation."
  "Hulu?"
  "Yeah."
  "What is a Hulu?"
  "Hulu is a type of container in Mandarin."
  "Container for what?"
  "For people."
  "Whoever these Hulu fucks are, they're the ones controlling your story." (Interior Chinatown, S01E10)
• </Interior Chinatown, S01>
• "And I will watch that movie. What's the name of it again? Donald… Donald Ducko?"
  "Yes, that is the FBI mob informant movie I told you about." (A Man on the Inside, S01E04)
• "Look at this. If I want new salt shakers, the company makes me fill out a form like applying for a mortgage."
  "Thanks, Obama."
  "Oh no. You were serious." (A Man on the Inside, S01E06)
• </A Man on the Inside, S01>

45. The Bottom Line (Jake Paul vs. Mike Tyson, 15 Nov 2024)

Stray Observations

• </The Penguin, S01>
• "You know how he gets."
  "Not really. I mean, he watches Formula One qualifying rounds." (The Franchise, S01E06)
• "Hi. Circling back on Peter's erection, the studio is very keen for it not to be visible."
  "We'll paint it out in post, yeah? So it's there, it's not there, it's Schrödinger's erection." (The Franchise, S01E06)
• </American Sports Story: Aaron Hernandez, S01>
• "Gregory, lower that roof!" (Abbott Elementary, S04E06)
• "Hey, hey, do protests even really work? I mean, the Chiefs are still a team, am I right?" (Abbott Elementary, S04E06)
• ♫: Nilüfer Yanya – "Rid of Me" (The Day of the Jackal, S01E02)
• ♫: Lisa O'Neill – "Old Note" (Say Nothing, S01E03)
• </Say Nothing, S01>
• ♫: CHINCHILLA – "Do You See Me Now?" (Sweetpea, S01E06)
• </Sweetpea, S01>

44. Crackheads (Shark Tank, S16E04)

Stray Observations

• "Now, would you care to know who's got the smallest dick in Hollywood?"
  "It's gotta be one of the kids from Stranger Things, right?" (The Franchise, S01E05)
• "And off I fuck for treacle pud on the beanbag." (The Franchise, S01E05)
• "The dead do not menstruate!" (What We Do in the Shadows, S06E05)
• "Lieutenant Alexa. Tell this piece of shit to leave."
  "Now playing 'Leave' by JoJo."
  "Wait for the chorus." (What We Do in the Shadows, S06E05)
• "I, too, was once CC'd." (What We Do in the Shadows, S06E05)
• "We ride for Hanover!" (What We Do in the Shadows, S06E05)
• "Nothing more dangerous than a Black man with a fresh haircut." (Abbott Elementary, S04E05)
• "A West Philly Darnell wants to fight Gregory."
  "That's how Fresh Prince began. We can't lose Gregory to Bel-Air." (Abbott Elementary, S04E05)
• "Hey, Gregory Eddie! I heard you've been talking trash…about gay people."
  "Whoa!"
  "What?"
  "No, no, no."
  "Just… Just go with it."
  "No, no, break character."
  "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. First you cross me. Now I'm hearing tell of homophobia. That's not cool, man. We think my cousin's cousin might be gay. Now I gotta beat your ass for me, for Jabari, for him, and for Frank Ocean." (Abbott Elementary, S04E05)

(Disclaimer, S01E07)

• </Disclaimer, S01>

43. Chappell's Show (Saturday Night Live, S50E05)

Stray Observations

• "Look, he's here now, and he's the talent, so let's pre-vis our happy faces and go tell the man we hate how much we love him." (The Franchise, S01E04)
• "Oh, he can be difficult. Believe. You know that time when we ordered takeaway and you assumed rice was included?" (The Franchise, S01E04)
• ♫: Third Eye Blind – "Graduate" (What We Do in the Shadows, S06E04)
• "Jordan loves me because I crush it, and you're all sitting around with your dicks in your hands."
  "Why not? It's our house." (What We Do in the Shadows, S06E04)
• "Plus, that real estate girl I've been fucking, she told me Staten Island, it's the new Bushwick." (What We Do in the Shadows, S06E04)
• "Nandor couldn't make me a vampire, and I can't make him a janitor." (What We Do in the Shadows, S06E04)
• "Lester, I have urgent business, so I need you to take over. Now, I trust you completely, but just know if you get anything wrong, I will destroy you. [pause] What? All he does is let in murderers." (Only Murders in the Building, S04E10)
• </Only Murders in the Building, S04>
• "Don't steal her struggle." (Agatha All Along, S01E08)
• "Agatha, am I killing this boy so my brother can live?"
  "No, Billy. Sometimes…boys die." (Agatha All Along, S01E08)
• </Agatha All Along, S01>
• "Do you really not know who we are?"
  "Well, give me a hint."
  "It's a movie, starts with a J."
  "Jumanji! No, that doesn't make any sense. Um, Jennifer's Body."
  "What?" (Abbott Elementary, S04E04)
• Ash Wednesday costume (Abbott Elementary, S04E04)
• "Next up, we have Grace Jones with a sword!"
  "I'm Blade, bitch." (Abbott Elementary, S04E04)
• </Like a Dragon: Yakuza, S01>

42. Nixon (What We Do in the Shadows, S06E03)

Stray Observations

• "I'm just nodding today. No dialogue. Nod away and let those clever little boys in India paint round me with their graphics." (The Franchise, S01E03)
• "Not to man-explain this thing."
  "It's 'mansplain.'"
  "I don't think it is." (The Franchise, S01E03)
• "I just want to let you know that you guys are out of hot water."
  "Hold your horses, Noël Coward." (What We Do in the Shadows, S06E03)
• [white noise]
  "I appreciate you playing my favorite song to cut the tension." (What We Do in the Shadows, S06E03)
• "Oh, Marmaduke. You are something else." (What We Do in the Shadows, S06E03)
• "What is your major malfunction? FMJ, 1987." (What We Do in the Shadows, S06E03)
• "You saw Ron Howard's nipples?" (Only Murders in the Building, S04E09)
• "Did you know that she used to come to my house for dinner every Wednesday when you had your meetings with the weird heterosexual men's club?"
  "It was pick-up basketball." (Shrinking, S02E03)
• ♫: Angie McMahon – "Letting Go" (Shrinking, S02E03)
• "We are not cool, teenager."
  "Damn, using his full name." (Agatha All Along, S01E07)
• "Hey, Shirley, order me a little fish mirror for Queen LaSeafah." (Abbott Elementary, S04E03)
• </The Old Man, S02>