British Knights

on

As part of the NCAA's upcoming March Madness tournament, a number of artists will play a series of concerts during the Final Four. Artists announced include Fall Out Boy, Jason Derulo, Maroon 5, Pitbull, and Flo Rida. [source]

The NCAA: I see your Coldplay and Sting, and raise you… No. You know what? All in.

Isn't this just, like, crystal Mountain Dew?

He's jamming to club soda.

Quadruple Bypass

on

Previously on Adam Riff™:
I am chuffed to present Backwash, a podcast by Adam Robot and I.

Episode 12:


iTunes link

1. Seat Filler / Plumbing
2. Millennial Career Survey / Autographs / Coors Light / Cadbury Egg McFlurry
3. Nine Lives / Hentai Kamen / Lip Sync Battle Jr.
4. Current Television Lightning Round
5. Lil Yachty

recorded on February 29, 2016

We recorded this a few days after I last returned home from Los Angeles, and we release it on the day I head back.


))<>((

#backwash

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

on

11. Imaginary Meal (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S11E10)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • "On the count of three, jump into your high chair."
    "Is this how babies do it?"
    "Fun babies…" (Bob's Burgers, S06E09)
  • "Where are the napkins?"
    "Do you mean the paper towel roll?" (Bob's Burgers, S06E09)
  • "Deez Knots." (The Last Man on Earth, S02E11)
  • Rick Fox as the scary-looking black man (Shameless, S06E08)
  • ♫: Bosshouse Music – "Midnight Atrophy" (Shameless, S06E08)
  • Stardust: "Are– Are you guys talking about a hand job?" (The Edge and Christian Show That Totally Reeks of Awesomeness!, S01E04)
  • "All we gotta do is, we gotta keep 'em separated."
    [pause]
    "You know, like the song? Huge song. Millions sold." (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E15)
  • "Is Marcia Clark a bitch or a babe?" (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E06)
  • "When I want to hear from you, I'll rattle my zipper!" (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E06)
  • ♫: Seal – "Kiss From a Rose" (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E06)
  • "Excuse me for interrupting this…black thing." (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E06)


(The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E06)

  • ♫: Portishead – "Sour Times" (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E06)
  • "Uh oh. I guess the defense is in for one hell of a week, huh?" (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E06)
  • O.J.'s defense team drinking at the bar from New Girl (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E06)
  • F. Lee Bailey drinking from a Solo cup in court (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E06)


(The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E06)

  • "You have plenty of life experience. You, uhh, you took the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge…" (The Carmichael Show, S02E01)
  • "Is this one of these young people things, like believing that Bernie Sanders is a viable candidate?" (The Carmichael Show, S02E01)
  • "She got her foot in my raw chicken! Get your hooker's foot out of my chicken, man!" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S11E10)
  • "Is it okay if I just confess something, get it off my chest, before we die?"
    "That's a good idea. We shouldn't die holding things in about ourselves. Go ahead, Dee."
    "Mac owns a Cowboys jersey. I saw him wearing it in the back office."
    "WHAT?!"
    "Don't say it's Romo."
    "Of course it's Romo! Who else would it be?!" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S11E10)
  • "Onion!" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S11E10)
  • "We should die thinking good thoughts. For me, that's Romo connecting with Dez for the win." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S11E10)
  • "Amazing Grace / How sweet the sauce." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S11E10)
  • It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season Grade: C+
  • Man Seeking Woman Season Grade: C
  • "What it was isn't how it is." (American Crime, S02E10)
  • American Crime Season Grade: C


(Portlandia, S06E08)

  • "That's bad."
    "Yeah, it's really, really bad. This is way, way less than Jake." (Workaholics, S06E09)
  • "Do you want me to bring a picture of you and Dale too?"
    "Yeah, maybe there's a photo of us when we were still cute."
    "About how far back would that be?"
    "The '70s. Early '70s." (Baskets, S01E08)
  • "There's a lady on the girls team! She's probably German too!" (Baskets, S01E08)
  • Ariana Grande's Jennifer Lawrence impression (Saturday Night Live, S41E15)


"Maria out." (Saturday Night Live, S41E15)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The People v. O.J. Simpson
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Baskets

#clipoftheweek

Justice ain't free, therefore justice ain't me

on

Bad Rap, directed and written by Salima Koroma. (USA) – World Premiere, Documentary. Bad Rap follows the lives and careers of four Asian-American rappers trying to break into a world that often treats them as outsiders. Sharing dynamic live performance footage and revealing interviews, these artists will make the most skeptical critics into believers. With humor and insight, the film paints a portrait of artistic passion in the face of an unsung struggle. With Jonathan "Dumbfoundead" Park, Nora "Awkwafina" Lum, David "Rekstizzy" Lee, and Richard "Lyricks" Lee.

I'm sorry, but an Asian rapper will never not be wack as hell to me. Just….no. God created Ad-Rock and Eve, not Ad-Rock and Lee.

Asian Wackness Hierarchy
1. Rapper
2. Christian
3. Bai Ling
4. Can't Speak Native Tongue

related: An Arab-American dude and an Asian-American dude rapping about Trader Joe's

Geezer, directed and written by Lee Kirk. (USA) – World Premiere, Narrative. Perry (Billie Joe Armstrong) is a happily married father of two living a comfortable but sedate life in the suburbs. On the occasion of his 40th birthday, he seeks to revisit his former life as the lead singer in a popular punk band though his middle-aged reality quickly clashes with the indulgences of his youth.

EXT. 924 GILMAN – NIGHT

Perry picks himself up off the sidewalk. "Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)" plays.

MONTAGE

Musical Artists I Dug as a Teenager Wackness Hierarchy
1. Tom DeLonge
2. Billy Corgan
3. Rivers Cuomo
4. Moby
5. Billie Joe Armstrong

Wait, SLC Punk 2 was released on home video this week?

Kevin Draper:

The San Jose Sharks are having a fan vote for a new goal song, and one of the six nominees is the worst thing I've ever heard in my life.

Sharts, sharts, sharts, sharts-sharts!

"All Star"? Cena's entrance music?

"I want us to have a song by someone who would perform at a Stadium Series game."

I forgot how wack the video for "All Star" is. Mystery Men!

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

on

10. Missing (Man Seeking Woman Woman Seeking Man, S02E09)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • A man cave-themed episode with William Shatner as judge (Cutthroat Kitchen, S11E14)
  • An Irish actor playing a Russian (The Magicians, S01E07)
  • "Why don't you two just fuh?"
    […]
    "Why are you both determined to be so fuh-ing bland?" – Syfy censoring just the "ck" (The Magicians, S01E07)


(The Magicians, S01E07)

  • "Bonjour, Captain. Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?"
    "No, I don't want to sleep with you."
    "Is that what that means? Oh, man, I had a really gross tennis instructor." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S03E18)
  • Johnnie pulled over outside of Diddy Riese (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E05)
  • "Judas." (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E05)
  • "Brother, I ain't trying to be respectful. I'm trying to win." (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E05)
  • "Nigga please." (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E05)
  • "In the '70s, when I was in law school, affirmative action was a big deal."
    "I remember."
    "No, you don't. You're white." (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E05)
  • "Everybody loves my house! It was in Sunset magazine!" (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E05)
  • "How many blacks did you actually consider a friend?"
    "AC! And he's darker than I am!" (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E05)
  • RT: "they got o.j.'s house looking like the kwame nkrumah museum or something." (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E05)
  • "Get off my bench." (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E05)
  • "Whatever happens, don't do Fuhrman. Make the white people do him." (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E05)
  • "Cancer is gonna become the leading cause of death for Americans as early as 2030." (Weediquette, S01E01)
  • "Watch while I turn these spades into stars." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S11E09)
  • Mac: "Well, I'm gay." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S11E09)
  • "I'm so fuckin' happy. Everything just changed."
    "I am just thrilled and ecstatic. With Tim and Joe's help, we're gonna take over this world one burger at a time."
    "After conducting due diligence, Joe and Tim decided an investment in GastroPod was too risky. Meanwhile, Jeremiah and Carla have closed their mall location and put their expansion plans on hold." (Restaurant Startup, S03E09)
  • Restaurant Startup Season Grade: B
  • "That's how a dirty fighter does it. They throw cocaine in your eyes." (Baskets, S01E07)
  • Kirkland sweatshirts (Baskets, S01E07)
  • "If you're a clown, you're a clown. If you ain't, what are you?"
    "I guess I'm a Martha." (Baskets, S01E07)
  • "If I pull over, I have to break cruise control. Is it worth it?" (Baskets, S01E07)
  • "When you guys are done fingerbanging that kiwi, can I get it? I'm starving."
    "You got it." (Workaholics, S06E08)

The New AR™TV World Drama Champion: The People v. O.J. Simpson
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Baskets

#clipoftheweek

Eater's Digest: Chicago

on

Previously on Adam Riff™ (2012):


Martin Scorsese-Inspired Tasting Menu (iNG)

The chef behind that menu killed himself last year.

ANYWAY…

January 2016
parachute / dusek's / honey butter fried chicken / kuma's corner / boeufhaus / panes bread cafe / gus's world famous fried chicken / ¡bang bang! pie and biscuits / dos urban cantina / pub royale / au cheval / sultan's market / jeni's splendid ice creams / the duck inn

Parachute was Eater's 2014 Chicago Restaurant of the Year, and Bon Appétit named it one of America's best new restaurants last summer.


Baked Potato Bing Bread (Parachute)
bacon, scallion, and sour cream butter

The apogee of Chinese sesame bread.


Yukhoe (Parachute)
beef tenderloin, pear, pinenuts

Beef tartare wrapped in thinly-sliced pear.


Dolsot Bi Bim Bop (Parachute)
spanish octopus, n'duja, squid ink, gai lan, gochujang, soft egg

When mixed up, it turned all black.


A single-colour rice bowl that was one-note – spicy – in taste.


Pork Belly and Mung Bean Pancake (Parachute)
kimchi, black garlic, hen egg, pineapple

Also one-note in taste – sour.


Cookie Dough (Dusek's)
fernet chocolate chips, egg custard ice cream, mint, chocolate cremeux, cookie powder

Dusek's' pastry chef likes chocolate with fernet – fernet chocolate chips for dessert, a chocolate and fernet custard yeast donut for brunch.


Malted Bittersweet Chocolate Ice Cream Sandwich (Dusek's)
charcoal compressed banana, charcoal caramel, white coffee, honey compressed figs

Oddly muted in sweetness.

Honey Butter Fried Chicken (Honey Butter Fried Chicken)
honey butter, corn muffins

"Don't forget to put the butter on the bird!" they say.

Fried chicken + honey butter = fried chicken that tastes like chicken and waffles – waffles.

Original Fried Chicken Sandwich (Honey Butter Fried Chicken)
fried chicken strips, candied jalapeño mayo, crunchy slaw

Kuma's Corner is "a burger joint with a heavy metal attitude."

Kuma Burger (Kuma's Corner)
bacon, sharp cheddar, fried egg, tomato, onion

I should've ordered a more interesting burger—

—but I wanted to try the "famous" original.


Shortrib Beignets (Boeufhaus)
braised rib, natural jus

Doughnut holes filled with beef.

Ceci Bean Cavatelli (Boeufhaus)
haus merguez, caramelized shallot, fried ceci bean, caciocavallo, paprika jus

Ceci bean = chickpea. It's a Middle Eastern-flavoured pasta dish.

I dig fried chickpeas as a crunchy component in food.

Orange Chocolate Pie (¡Bang Bang! Pie and Biscuits)
orange curd pastry cream, chocolate cookie crust, dark chocolate drizzle

Spiced Tart Cherry Pie (¡Bang Bang! Pie and Biscuits)
mulled tart cherries, leaf lard pastry crust, pecan crumble

They swapped out their Chocolate Pecan Pie, which I was stoked to try, a few days before I arrived in Chicago. [grumbling]


Chicharrones (Dos Urban Cantina)
french onion yogurt

Pork rinds in French onion dip.

Chips and Dips (Dos Urban Cantina)
guacamole, guajillo salsa, pumpkin seed hummus

The pepitas hummus tasted peculiar.


Shrimp Taquitos (Dos Urban Cantina)
tomato broth, avocado, pickled vegetables

The broth is sensational.


Raw Scallops (Dos Urban Cantina)
spicy lime aguachile, chia seeds, roasted sweet potato

I'm not keen on raw scallops, but these were good.


Sweet Corn Tamal (Dos Urban Cantina)
charred parmesan, tomato salsa

Piloncillo Sugar Pie (Dos Urban Cantina)
malted whipped cream, pecan toffee


Doughnut (Pub Royale)
chai dolce de leche

Deep-fried naan dough with a dulce de leche glaze spiked with chai spice.


Cheeseburger (Au Cheval)

People queue for hours to eat this cheeseburger, the cheese in which is Kraft American Singles. Maybe it's the optional thick-cut peppered bacon?

Food Network named it the best burger in America last summer.

It has a very creamy mouthfeel.

Pompazo Sandwich (Panes Bread Cafe)
spicy chicken breast, homemade pesto, tomato, and provolone cheese

Falafel Sandwich (Sultan's Market)
a warm pita lined with hummus, stuffed with falafel, tomatoes, topped with jerusalem salad

Favourites from my time living in Chicago. Still tasty after all these years.


B-Boys makin' with the lentils and rice.

Duck Fat Dog (The Duck Inn)
chicago style, instant pickle

Shrimp and Duck Lumpia (The Duck Inn)
Sweet Chili Sauce

The Duck Inn was Eater's 2015 Chicago Restaurant of the Year.


Fried Cheese Curds (The Duck Inn)
bloody mary ketchup, hoppy mayo

[fingertip kissing Italian chef]


Rotisserie Duck (The Duck Inn)
salad of duck drippings, potatoes, fall greens, roasted pears and apples, gooseberry vinaigrette

You have to order this in advance, and restaurant staff note your special order with a rubber ducky.

The duck breast was dismayingly tough. The salad stole the show.

MISSED CONNECTIONS


Sea-cuterie (Travelle)
—"A seafood-inspired take on charcuterie – whitefish rillettes, thinly-sliced octopus carpaccio, a 'bouillabaisse' aspic bombe in which bits of shellfish are suspended…"

Pastrami Croquettes (Boeufhaus)
rye panko, tallegio, mustard aioli

Sunbutter Sandwich (Wyler Road)
sunflower seed butter, honey jam, toasted sunflower seed, whole wheat
—A variation on a PB-and-J?

Chicken Salad Sandwich (Wyler Road)
chicken breast, fried chicken skin, chimichurri, sour grape jam, whole wheat

Goatsnake Burger (Kuma's Corner)
herbed goat cheese, poblano corn relish, cholula lemon vinaigrette, buttermilk breaded frizzled red onion

Ice Cream Float (Dusek's)
cafe racer coffee soda, espresso tapioca, salted rum condensed milk, ginger beer ice cream
—This has since been replaced by Fried Stout [!!!].


Dressed Hamm's (Pub Royale)
hot sauce, spiced salt, lime

(Pork and Mindy's)
—The Sandwich King's restaurant.

#eatersdigest

Red Dawn of Justice

on

Wikipedia » Zaschitniki:

Zaschitniki is a Russian neo-noir superhero film. It is set to be released in February 2017.

Set during the Cold War, a secret organization named "Patriot" gathered a group of Soviet superheroes, altering and augmenting the DNA of four individuals, in order to defend the homeland from supernatural threats.

The group includes representatives of the different nationalities of the Soviet Union. Superpowers reflect strengths and traditions of the people of the USSR.

Waterwoman
Has the ability to seamlessly float through water. This gives her higher mobility in water than the fastest, or most maneuverable sea creature.

Landman
Can cause the ground to break apart under his enemies feet with great precision in what parts break and what shape the subsequent depression makes. This allows him to form craters, canyons, ravines, and sink holes which his enemies then fall into.

Wildman
Has the ability to transform himself into a bear. He can control how much of his body is transformed and can transform partially if he wills it.


Windman

Looks pretty good for a $20 million USD film.