Adam Riff™

51. Self-Surgery (The Knick, S02E10)

Honourable Mention

• Surgery/Re-entry (The Last Man on Earth, S02E10)
• "Hotline Bling" (American Horror Story, S05E10)
• Ash vs. Ash (Ash vs. Evil Dead, S01E08)
• Stadium Bathroom (F Is For Family, S01E03)

Stray Observations

• "Technically, it's just carbonated fudge." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S03E10)
• "Somebody's got a lot of business to attend to. Who are you, Barbara Corcoran?"
  —
  "He didn't even make me one of the good sharks! I'm clearly Lori!" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S03E10)
• "And those farts Gina kept smelling…"
  "They were Ramon."
  "No, it was sewage."
  "And Ramon." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S03E10)
• "Will you try to blow out a fart for me?"
  "Hey, bud, how 'bout a real quick fart? Just anything you got." (The Last Man on Earth, S02E10)
• "There is no justice, but there is mercy, because that's what we can give to each other." (Getting On, S03E06)
• Getting On Season Grade: C+
• ♫: Black Sabbath – "War Pigs" (Fargo, S02E10)
• "From this moment forward, I decree, no more schnitzel or strudel." (Fargo, S02E10)
• "An act of cruelty, remember?" (Fargo, S02E10)
• "In the morning, we journey home to bathe in that warm champagne that is corporate praise." (Fargo, S02E10)
• "Camus says knowing we're gonna die makes life absurd."
  "Well, I don't know who that is, but I'm guessing he doesn't have a six year-old girl."
  "He's French."
  "Ugh, I don't care if he's from Mars. Nobody with any sense would say something that foolish. We're put on this earth to do a job, and each of us gets the time we get to do it. And when this life is over, and you stand in front of the Lord… Well, you try telling him it was all some Frenchman's joke." (Fargo, S02E10)
• "Your husband, he said he was gonna protect his family no matter what, and I acted like I didn't understand, but…I do. It's the rock we all push – men. We call it our burden, but…it's really our privilege." (Fargo, S02E10)
• RT: The Fargo finale had one hell of an Easter egg pointing back to s1 (Fargo, S02E10)
• Fargo Season Grade: B+
• "Cheekbones for days." (American Horror Story, S05E10)
• "Mama smells appetizers." (American Horror Story, S05E10)
• Iris' tribute video. (American Horror Story, S05E10)
• "I wanted it to be a beacon of hope for my three followers on Instagram." (American Horror Story, S05E10)
• The Knick Season Grade: C+
• Robert Downey Sr. (Saturday Night Live, S41E09)
• Patrice O'Neal character design (F Is For Family, S01E02)
• Mohican Airlines ad (F Is For Family, S01E05)
• Guest starring Joe Buck (F Is For Family, S01E05)
• "Frank, this man earned this. Let him fuck on your car." (F Is For Family, S01E06)
• F Is For Family Season Grade: D

#clipoftheweek

50. Wedding Photo (Transparent, S02E01)

Honourable Mention

• Lao Ban Santa (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E10)
• Chanel's missive to end all missives (Scream Queens, S01E12)

Stray Observations

• "I hereby christen thee…Snackie Chan!" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S03E09)
• "You're what sneezes are!" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S03E09)
• "Damn, Neil DeGrasse Tyson!" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S03E09)
• "We are the nine thousand, two hundred, sixty-one. We are not spared." (The Leftovers, S02E10)
• ♫: NOVA – "Kyabe Knights" (The Leftovers, S02E10)
• The Leftovers Season Grade: B+
• "Nobody wants to see another Paris." (Homeland, S05E10)
• Martin Freeman narrating (Fargo, S02E09)
• "It's just a flying saucer, hon. We got to go." (Fargo, S02E09)
• "Okay then." (Fargo, S02E09)
• "I thought Irishmen had potatoes. It looks like you're just smuggling some tater tots." (WWE Raw, 12-07-15)
• "Werewolf pubes." (Neon Joe: Werewolf Hunter, S01E01)
• "A rolling stone gather no moss, but it do gather pubes." (Neon Joe: Werewolf Hunter, S01E01)
• Garrity Chinatown (Neon Joe: Werewolf Hunter, S01E01)
• "Don't you switch my words."
  "I'll words you switch!" (Neon Joe: Werewolf Hunter, S01E01)
• "Neon Joe is gonna be out of our pubes soon enough." (Neon Joe: Werewolf Hunter, S01E01)
• "All these white Santas are just Chinese Santa's Mitch-es." (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E10)
• "We can't give mom Tupac lyrics as her present." (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E10)
• "To all the relentless unwashed hoards on Twitter, who have taken every opportunity to mock and attack me mercilessly from the safety of their stained futons…" (Scream Queens, S01E12)
• "I lost my virginity to a Nickelback song." (Scream Queens, S01E12)
• "I'm gonna go disinvite Jerry Seinfeld from speaking at commencement. He told a joke about a woman once." (Scream Queens, S01E13)
• "Couple that with my BJ lips.." (Scream Queens, S01E13)
• Jesse Helms Stadium (Scream Queens, S01E13)
• "I just don't understand how deep the hole's supposed to be."
  "Whore deep!" (Scream Queens, S01E13)
• ♫: Martika – "Toy Soldiers" (Scream Queens, S01E13)
• Deputized strippers (Scream Queens, S01E13)

(Scream Queens, S01E13)

• "I remember that little girl's face in the bathroom that night. It's burned into my memory, like Joe Theismann's injury and '2 Girls 1 Cup.'" (Scream Queens, S01E13)
• Scream Queens Season Grade: C-

(Neon Joe: Werewolf Hunter, S01E02)

• "I'd like to hear a little bit about it about it." (Neon Joe: Werewolf Hunter, S01E02)
• "You're jealous of a goldfish? A daily chore that ends in heartbreak?" (Black-ish, S02E10)
• "What is PC but a verbal form of gentrification?" (South Park, S19E09)
• South Park Season Grade: C+
• "Ooh, you smell good. What is that, McDonald's?" (The League, S07E13)
• Old Nick Kroll is Larry David (The League, S07E13)
• The League Season Grade: D
• You're the Worst Season Grade: C-
• "Goddamn Hulu." (American Horror Story, S05E09)

(Neon Joe: Werewolf Hunter, S01E03)

• Nathan For You Season Grade: A-
• Convincing gumbo (Neon Joe: Werewolf Hunter, S01E04)
• "Your last name Willis?"
  "No, why?"
  "'Cause right about now, I feel like saying, 'What'chu talkin' 'bout, Bruce?'" (Neon Joe: Werewolf Hunter, S01E04)

Penile guillotine + dignity cap (Neon Joe: Werewolf Hunter, S01E04)

Barrett having sex with a giant hacky sack (Neon Joe: Werewolf Hunter, S01E04)

• The Amazing Race Season Grade: D-
• "Put my Iwo in your Jima." (Neon Joe: Werewolf Hunter, S01E05)
• "I'll never forget how you move your body to reggae." (Neon Joe: Werewolf Hunter, S01E05)
• Neon Joe: Werewolf Hunter Season Grade: C
• "She's a filing cabinet with a hairdo." (Transparent, S02E01)
• ♫: Alice Boman – "Waiting" (Transparent, S02E01)
• ♫: LCD Soundsystem – "Dance Yrself Clean" (Transparent, S02E02)
• "Canter's cole slaw, the best." (Transparent, S02E07)
• Transparent Season Grade: C

#clipoftheweek

• Best News Bloopers 2015