A Zed and Two Noughts

Kamala Harris' celebration of the 50th anniversary of hip-hop was funny, but this one may take the cake:

James Beard Award-winning chef JJ Johnson has invited the best Black chefs in New York to showcase their signature cuisine, which, similar to hip hop, is a storytelling artform where chefs are the artists reconstructing past foodways and honoring culturally relevant ingredients and techniques.

[pause]

If that's not enough to get you intrigued and hungry, Chef Johnson will attempt to set the world record for the largest amount of jollof cooked at one time.

Even better, there will be a performance by Rev Run and Ice-T.

Our MCs will be Tamron Hall and Angela Yee.

So, wave your hands in the air. And wave 'em like you want tasty fare! This cookout will be a serious rapper's delight.

Sponsored by Crumbl Cookies, food Wordle, and beach neighborhoods in Florida.

Silent explosions in our minds

Today is the 23rd anniversary of Adam Riff™ dot com.

Our output has slowed, but we're still out here blogging, and re-tweeting on X, and posting stories on Instagram, and now, logging wonderful and/or weird stuff that we consumed on Substack.

We're using Substack like a Tumblr, so don't bother subscribing to the newsletter and just browse the archive.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


37. Blackout (WWE NXT, 5 Sep 2023)


Stray Observations

  • </Telemarketers, S01>
  • "Well, why don't I make it up to you with a little solo mish? 'Mish' is short for 'mishegoss.'" (Only Murders in the Building, S03E06)
  • "Oliver, how far do you and I go back?"
    "All the way back to our original hairlines." (Only Murders in the Building, S03E06)
  • "How inevitable." (Ahsoka, S02E04)
  • ♫: Simon Joyner – "You Got Under My Skin" (Reservation Dogs, S03E07)
  • "I'm the boss, baby. And don't misquote me on that. I said, 'Boss, comma, baby.'" (Harley Quinn, S04E09)
  • "We haven't seen a disaster like this since Blake Lively's British accent." (Harley Quinn, S04E09)
  • "You're still dating Dirty Bird?"
    "I'd call what we're doing more intermittent intimacy dictated by her mood and my body odor." (Heels, S02E07)
  • "Like, how much time and effort can we put into something just to get noticed and approved by someone we don't know and never met? And yet all your attention and energy has been put into getting that approval in order to feel like you're on the right path."
    "There's a word for that."
    "Tell us."
    "Christianity." (Heels, S02E07)
  • "I was pretty down myself about six months ago. Then I found Pastor Jim."
    'Who's that?"
    "Oh, you'd love him, Bambs. He's doing some really important work at the Peoples Temple on Alvarado. He's a, uh, mesmerizing spirit."
    "Would you say there's a familial quality to the congregation?"
    "Absolutely. Some people even call him Father. Write this down. 1365 South Alvarado. Jim Jones." (Minx, S02E08)
  • "Uh, thank you so much for rescuing us."
    "I always wanted to see unincorporated Monrovia." (Minx, S02E08)
  • </Minx, S02>
  • </6ixtynin9: The Series, S01>
  • "If we are not monsters, we're food, and I could never be food." (Top Boy, S05E06)
  • </Top Boy, S05>

The hardest paths still lead to graves

The 2023 Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF) begins on Thursday.

I booked my AirBNBs for TIFF in early May.

I early-bird registered for TIFF industry accreditation in mid-June.

I booked my flights to and from TIFF shortly thereafter.

Throughout August, I researched places to eat at during TIFF.

And then, 24 hours before my flight to TIFF, I discovered that my passport expired in July.

[sigh]

That time I discovered that I had left my packed bag at home after landing in Las Vegas has been supplanted.

I considered changing my flights to and from TIFF to accommodate an expedited passport renewal, but I would be spending like $918 to not lose $1068.

I'm comforting myself with the fact that this year's strike-impacted festival missed out on a bunch of notable films.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

36. Missing Package (How To with John Wilson, S03E06)


Honourable Mention

  • Bachelor spreadsheet (How To with John Wilson, S03E06)

Stray Observations

  • </Telemarketers, S01>
  • "You do like pork chops though, don't you?"
    "Oh, sure. Love solid food." (Only Murders in the Building, S03E05)
  • "Mm… It's so solid. So fully formed, you know?" (Only Murders in the Building, S03E05)
  • "Anyway, it's a bit hard behind plexiglass. Or, as Jan calls it, sexi-glass." (Only Murders in the Building, S03E05)
  • "Yes, this is Carolyn Wilder. I need assistance at 66 Motor Hill Road."
    "You call EMS?"
    "I called the Wayne County Morgue." (Justified: City Primeval, S01E08)
  • Boyd Crowder (Justified: City Primeval, S01E08)
  • </Justified: City Primeval, S01>
  • "Anger and frustration are quick to give power. But they also unbalance you." (Ahsoka, S01E03)
  • ♫: Larry Norman – "I Wish We'd All Been Ready" (Reservation Dogs, S03E06)


(Harley Quinn, S04E08)

  • "I can't die watching two men bond over tech." (Harley Quinn, S04E08)
  • Mama Nacaroni callback (Harley Quinn, S04E08)
  • "Not my fingers! I need these to pleasure Nora…with my calligraphy!" (Harley Quinn, S04E08)
  • "I cannot rest until Guillermo has taken his last breath and I feel his bones crunch under my boots. So I've been watching the one place I know he will return to eventually: Panera Bread." (What We Do in the Shadows, S05E10)
  • "Do you know John Slattery?" (What We Do in the Shadows, S05E10)
  • "It's only a matter of time before he returns to Panera Bread." (What We Do in the Shadows, S05E10)
  • "You are a good listener, Patton Oswalt." (What We Do in the Shadows, S05E10)
  • "Just leave them. Garfield will pick 'em up later." (What We Do in the Shadows, S05E10)
  • "He's doing his scatting shit." (What We Do in the Shadows, S05E10)
  • </What We Do in the Shadows, S05>
  • "You know, I actually spent the winters with my Grandpa Heinrich in Argentina. So if you decide to conquer the Southern Cone, hablo español también."
    "Was he born there, or did he hide—?"
    "The past should stay in the past." (Minx, S02E07)


(How To with John Wilson, S03E06)

  • </How To with John Wilson, S03>
  • "Oregano is for savages." (One Piece, S01E06)
  • "Ooh, new guy carries the clown head." (One Piece, S01E07)
  • "You won't be so lucky against the might of my fishman karate." (One Piece, S01E08)
  • </One Piece, S01>

Dying Mentally

Year-End List Idea: The Top 50 Celebrations of "50 Years of Hip-Hop" of the Year.

Interesting that as we celebrate 50 years of hip-hop, an entire year has gone by without a rap song reaching number one on the Billboard Hot 100.

The last time the Hot 100 went without a rap champ for at least a year was after Will Smith's "Wild Wild West" reigned in July 1999. Following the soundtrack single's one-week rule, rap was absent from the Hot 100 summit until Shaggy's "It Wasn't Me" began a two-week command in February 2001. [source]

"The Real Slim Shady" didn't hit number one?!

2023 is also the longest we've gone into a calendar year without a rap album at number one on the Billboard 200 since 1993.

Cypress Hill's Black Sunday hit number one the week of August 7, 1993. Travis Scott's Utopia hit number one the week of August 12, 2023.

Entering Glizzy Overdrive

Thinking about how Sony's pay-one U.S. licensing deal with Netflix for feature films means that more people in America probably see Sony's films than any other studio's.

A Man Called Otto: The number one film on Netflix when it hit Netflix.

Missing: The number one film on Netflix when it hit Netflix.

65: The number one film on Netflix when it hit Netflix.

The Pope's Exorcist: The number one film on Netflix when it hit Netflix.

If it didn't hit Netflix at the same time as a new Adam Sandler film, Big George Foreman would currently be the number one film on Netflix.

More people in America will probably see No Hard Feelings than Fast X just because it's available to stream on Netflix.

Shit, more people in America will probably see Bert Kreischer's The Machine than Mission: Impossible 7.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

35. Redacted Fundraising Group (Telemarketers, S01E02)


Honourable Mention

  • Colin Robinson roasting (What We Do in the Shadows, S05E08)
  • Overflowing airplane toilet (How To with John Wilson, S03E05)

Stray Observations

  • "Smells like Jerry Orbach's laundry basket." (Only Murders in the Building, S03E04)
  • "Warning, I smell like eggs." (Only Murders in the Building, S03E04)
  • "The key here is to find a murderer that won't cost me the Tony." (Only Murders in the Building, S03E04)
  • "Remember, these babies are homicidal." (Only Murders in the Building, S03E04)
  • "'When you look out across the length of the open road, you are a person who deserves to pursue as many firsts as it takes to determine your self-worth.'" (Reservation Dogs, S03E05)
  • ♫: J.K. and Co. – "Fly" (Reservation Dogs, S03E05)
  • "Excuse me. James Corden. Oh, you want me to host one of your little musical comedy traffic jams?" (Harley Quinn, S04E07)
  • "We tell each other everything like how we like our eggs, or how Harley masturbates to The Iron Lady."
    "Okay. That was once and was basically by accident." (Harley Quinn, S04E07)
  • "You're clogging my pee-pee drain!" (Harley Quinn, S04E07)
  • "I see that The Guide is also here."
    [silence] (What We Do in the Shadows, S05E08)
  • "If you think ejaculating onto the pillow counts as cooking your wife dinner, you might just be…a Laszlo Cravensworth."
    "Women can be funny." (What We Do in the Shadows, S05E08)
  • "Well, at least he died doing what he loved: beating off in the tool shed." (What We Do in the Shadows, S05E08)
  • "Meatball?"
    "Oh, yeah. Mm! Needs a little bit more sauce."
    "I licked it off." (Minx, S02E06)


(Minx, S02E06)

  • "Now, if you'll excuse me, I've been promised the full Vassar experience, and I don't want to keep her waiting." (Minx, S02E06)
  • "That was factual, but it wasn't a 16-year-old girl. It was a Chinese man." (How To with John Wilson, S03E05)
  • "What does Anne Frank got to do with this?"
    "Nothing."
    "Oh, okay." (How To with John Wilson, S03E05)