Adam Riff™

41. The Elixir (The Continental, S01E03)

Honourable Mention

• Rufus' swelling penis (Gen V, S01E04)
• Tek Knight's unusual proclivity (Gen V, S01E04)

Stray Observations

• "Ooh, I like the way you think, Matthew Broderick." (Only Murders in the Building, S03E10)
• "Uh, that was Grey's New Orleans: Family Burn Unit." (Only Murders in the Building, S03E10)
• "Wow. I just got a romantic feeler text from Joy."
  "What? What'd she say?"
  "She says, 'Scott Bakula says hi.'"
  "That's not romantic." (Only Murders in the Building, S03E10)
• </Only Murders in the Building, S03>
• </Ahsoka, S01>
• "Wait, am I ready to get my skin peeled off? I don't know."
  "Am I ready to rip myself from every thread of time? I'd rather have that."
  "You'd rather be disassembled and never reassembled? Than have your skin ripped off?"
  "At least you get to live."
  "Live? What's the quality of life with no skin?" (Loki, S02E01)
• "Likelihood of spaghettification increases 7000%" (Loki, S02E01)
• "How long have you been eating Golden Boy's girlfriend's hole?" (Gen V, S01E04)
• "Just leave me alone, television's Jason Ritter!" (Gen V, S01E04)
• ♫: Maggie Rogers – "Want Want" (Gen V, S01E04)
• "I'm hobo-phobic." (The Continental, S01E03)
• "Turgid lackey." (The Continental, S01E03)
• </The Continental, S01>

40. Jiminy Cricket (Gen V, S01E01)

Stray Observations

• </Dreaming Whilst Black, S01>
• "Do you have any menthol for under the eyes?"
  "Yeah, I have a bucket of menthol." (Only Murders in the Building, S03E09)
• "Sorry for calling you whores."
  "Oh, that's alright. I used to be one." (Only Murders in the Building, S03E09)
• </Reservation Dogs, S03>
• "We are going to pull a Wilde card, as in Olivia Wilde. Don't mention what happened and wait till everyone forgets slash lowkey gaslight the people that do ask and make them think that they're the problem because, you know, sexism." (American Horror Story, S12E02)
• </Starstruck, S03>
• "This is a lot of jewelry. I just… Is it gonna make poor people sad?"
  "I don't think so."
  "Oh. They're probably already sad." (Gen V, S01E02)
• "Mom, what do you mean?"
  "What do I always say?"
  "Oh. 'Pee after sex'?" (Gen V, S01E03)
• "What's the name of my all-time favorite movie?"
  "Well, you're a white guy, so…uh, Godfather, Star Wars, or Shawshank." (Gen V, S01E03)
• Kevin Klein (Shark Tank, S15E01)

Looking forward:

39. Punch-Out!! (Moving, S01E19)

Stray Observations

• "Sorry, uh, so what would you say would be the upside to slavery?"
  "Uh— Gospel songs?"
  "I love a good gospel song."
  "And the partitioning of India?"
  [pause]
  "Tikka masala?" (Dreaming Whilst Black, S01E03)
• "'Dear, Timothy…'"
  "Nah, nah, nah, nah. 'Tomothy.' Misspell that bitch. Because if it was your name, they'd call you 'Kobena.'" (Dreaming Whilst Black, S01E03)
• ♫: Kano – "SYM" (Dreaming Whilst Black, S01E03)
• "Um, I'm sorry, Dr. Hill, would it be terrible if we did Friday? I have Andy Cohen on Thursday." (American Horror Story, S12E01)
• "I fucked Tom Sandoval to get on this show." (American Horror Story, S12E01)
• "You are so much more charming than most people. You on a bad day is like Hilary Swank on a great one, you know?" (American Horror Story, S12E01)

38. Karaoke with co-workers (Dreaming Whilst Black, S01E01)

Stray Observations

• "And in interests, you've missed a comma between 'cooking' and 'dogs.'" (Dreaming Whilst Black, S01E01)
• "I'm kind of struggling to choose a film, so I'm just wondering what you might go for."
  "Uh… I don't know. I guess it depends who I'm dating."
  "Oh, anyone. Literally anyone. Like, doesn't matter what she looks like."
  "No, I mean what she's into."
  "She's, um, a Sagittarius. Um, she likes…spicy food. She, you know, loves that, actually. She's very, um…vibrant. Uh, and kind of changes her hairstyle a lot. You know…dem kinda tings."
  "Oh, she's black!"
  "She is, actually. Yes. Yeah."
  "Right! So you want black film suggestions?"
  "This is it, exactly. I'm kind of imagining something quite deep as well, so I've been googling, um, black Oscar films."
  "Uh-huh."
  "At the moment, I'm thinking Color Purple."
  "Okay, um… It's a good film, but I feel like for a first date you might want to choose something without rape?"
  "Okay, no, probably…probably a good shout. Yeah, well, um, okay, what about, ooh, 12 Years a Slave?
  "Bro, that's slavery and rape."
  "What's Precious like?"
  "Still a rape, bro."
  "If you want a feel-good black film…Green Book." (Dreaming Whilst Black, S01E01)
• "Are you guys paying together, or…?"
  "Nah, we're just black." (Dreaming Whilst Black, S01E01)
• "Who is your guy? The ringer from your middle school play? Some less famous offspring of Marc Platt?" (Only Murders in the Building, S03E07)
• "This is not the first time Matthew has swooped in and stolen a role from me."
  "For the millionth time, you would not have been a good Ferris Bueller. You were 41." (Only Murders in the Building, S03E07)
• "So, I-I think I understand the Constable, but I'm gonna need your help to become the Constable."
  "Ah…"
  "It's part of my process. When I did War Games, I taught myself to write code."
  "Incredible."
  "For my role in Election, I started teaching high school and dating some students."
  "Okay…" (Only Murders in the Building, S03E07)
• "Jackie and Elora, y'all are gonna go in there and cut the phone lines, all right?
  "I don't know what a phone line looks like."
  "Do you?"
  "Fuck no."
  "I know what it looks like. I'll take that."
  [pause]
  "Cheese."
  "What?"
  "Buddy, you know how to spot a phone line, right?"
  "Of course. I-I'm a gamer. I-I know cables."
  "He knows cables. He's a gamer. All right, awesome. All right, so, Cheese will go with y'all." (Reservation Dogs, S03E08)
• "You first."
  "Why me?"
  "You're white." (Reservation Dogs, S03E08)
• "Can I help you?"
  "Yes, actually. I am Mr. White. And this is… Mr. Br…"
  "Don't say Brown." (Reservation Dogs, S03E08)
• </Harley Quinn, S04>
• </Heels, S02>