Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

on

44. Martha Stewart Dying (Chucky, S03E04)

Stray Observations

  • "I call it slut soufflé." (Chucky, S03E04)
  • "You wrote me a lovely letter!" (Our Flag Means Death, S02E08)
  • </Our Flag Means Death, S02>
  • "I'm from Chicago, friend. The schadeocracy capital of the world." (Loki, S02E04)
  • "The effervescent clock-lady monster thing wants me." (Loki, S02E04)
  • "Well, mocking is…just isn't necessary." (Loki, S02E04)
  • "They're taking me offline. I'm losing my cognitive facilities. I only have moments left. Victor, I need to tell you…tell you… You'll never be him." (Loki, S02E04)
  • "Kathleen Kennedy is not under your bed." (South Park: Joining the Panderverse)
  • City Woke (South Park: Joining the Panderverse)
  • "I guess just wailing on woke stuff all the time is pretty lazy, too." (South Park: Joining the Panderverse)

My world collapsed

on

I'm not sure the producers of Hell's Kitchen really thought out this season's "American dream" theme.

The American dream is all about getting knocked down and getting back up again. If past seasons of Hell's Kitchen have taught us anything, it's that these chefs will certainly get knocked down during their process of becoming great under Gordon Ramsay's guidance.

[a female guitarist appears to just play the first six notes of "The Star-Spangled Banner"]

"Growing up in Queens, New York, I dreamed of changing the way women were viewed in male-dominated industries. And now, I'm Lobos 1717 CEO Dia Simms, and my American dream came true."

[cheers and applause]

"Dia Simms, the CEO of a multi-billion-dollar company, walks out. It's unreal to know that I am in the presence of true greatness."

—

"Winning Hell's Kitchen IS the American dream."

—

"In this special season, Chef Ramsay will inspire them in ways he has never done before, as he uses uniquely American themes, American success stories, to test them and push them to their limits."

"And while at times, it will be a celebration of the USA, it is also the fiercest, most intense competition ever."

After meeting some inspirational American icons including boxer Oscar De La Hoya and country music superstar Martina McBride, the winning team will be rewarded with a private dinner party.

[a black choir sings "America the Beautiful"]

The contestants serve an All-American brunch to new American citizens.

"In this morning's American dream speed brunch challenge…"

—

"And just like cheerleading is very American, you're gonna be cooking inspired, elevated takes on American comfort foods."

The evening's dinner service is attended by actor Dolph Lundgren.

The Chefs go head-to-head in a soccer-themed cuisine fusion challenge with legend Alexi Lalas.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

on

43. Killer of the Flower (Scavengers Reign, S01E03)

Honourable Mention

  • Brendan Fraser singing about masturbating (Doom Patrol, S04E09)

Stray Observations

  • "Your machete hasn't solved any problems thus far." (Loki, S02E03)
  • "You have sex hair." (Gen V, S01E05)
  • "No man is untouchable." (Bodies, S01E03)
  • "She's a James Bond villain."
    "She's clearly a fucking bichota."
    "What's that mean? Like, James Bond in Spanish?" (Neon, S01E04)
  • "She's been through a lot. First her divorce from the Real Madrid player, then the break-up with the oil magnate, being waitlisted by Pete Davidson." (Neon, S01E06)
  • "Thank you, but let's just sit in the hand job spot and go home." (Neon, S01E07)
  • </Neon, S01>


(Captain Laserhawk: A Blood Dragon Remix, S01E03)


(Captain Laserhawk: A Blood Dragon Remix, S01E05)

Latino butt heat

on

Previously on Adam Riff™:

Year-End List Idea: The Top 50 Celebrations of "50 Years of Hip-Hop" of the Year.

Didn't the Grammys already do this?

I shudder to think what's in store when Saturday Night Live turns 50 next year.

Taylor Swift should collaborate with Crumbl. White women would eat it up.

A week of cookie flavors inspired by Taylor Swift eras.

Lover – rose
Fearless – contains edible insects
Evermore – chocolate chip
Red – red velvet
1989 – ecto cooler
Midnights – dark chocolate with white chocolate chips

The Coca-Cola Company should re-release New Coke as a Coca-Cola Creation.

Coca-Cola 2.0. Back to the future flavored.

My Wandering Warrior Eating Disorder

on

Ron DeSantis as Michael
Lauren Boebert as Pam
Matt Gaetz as Jim
George Santos as Dwight
Larry Elder as Stanley
Ted Cruz as Kevin
Marjorie Taylor Greene as Angela
Nikki Haley as Meredith
Susan Collins as Phyllis
Jim Jordan as Creed
Tim Scott as Oscar
Josh Hawley as Ryan
Kyrsten Sinema as Kelly
Vivek Ramaswamy as Andy
Mike Pence as Toby
Byron Donalds as Darryl

Donald Trump as Todd Packer

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

on

42. Reel Talk (American Horror Story, S12E04)

Honourable Mention

  • Samantha's decapitation (Chucky, S03E02)
  • Sam's hallucinatory puppet fight (Gen V, S01E05)

Stray Observations

  • "It's not scary. It's elevated thriller, all right?" (Loki, S02E02)
  • Anna eating the decomposing raccoon carcass (American Horror Story, S12E04)
  • "And maybe don't listen to a man who's becoming a bird." (Our Flag Means Death, S02E04)
  • Stede serving in the suit (Our Flag Means Death, S02E05)
  • "Why the fuck are you scratching your neck like Tyrone Biggums?" (Gen V, S01E05)

Genuflecting Ghost

on

I don't get this play on words? It's not clever and it sounds stupid.

What even is this portmanteau?

I get aggravated just looking at it.

Heh.

Open a "Bao Duke" spite store next door.

In 2013, Chef Bao Bao opened her own restaurant, Baoburg, in Williamsburg, Brooklyn (relocated to Greenpoint in 2015). [source]

1. Baoburg? [pause] Smorgasburg it ain't.

2. Boerum Hill, Borough Park, and Bay Ridge were right there!

3. I suppose Baoburg in Greenpoint is no different than Smorgasburg in Miami. It's just "bao city" now.

4. Steampoint.