Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

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50. Race to Witch Mountain (American Horror Story, S03E09)

Some context: The severed head belongs to an immortal racist to whom the negro spiritual is diegetic, the gunman is a witch hunter, and Precious is a human voodoo doll.

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • "Kids are horrible. Why do we keep making them?" (Bob's Burgers, S04E07)
  • "Hey Bob, I made this guy say 'yes' with my body!" (Bob's Burgers, S04E07)
  • "Celebrating yuletide with a titular display of lumber." (Sleepy Hollow, S01E10)
  • "What hellish form of torment is this?"
    "Fun house mirrors."
    "When did irony become a national pastime?" (Sleepy Hollow, S01E10)
  • "You embroidered my name on some oversized hosiery." (Sleepy Hollow, S01E10)
  • "Where are my testicles, Summer?" (Rick and Morty, S01E02)
  • Jax runs over a dove – subtle! (Sons of Anarchy, S06E13)
  • "Problems in Taco Nation?" (Sons of Anarchy, S06E13)
  • RT: "How racist was it that the Mayans paid the 9ers in rice and beans to symbolize them putting food on their table?" (Sons of Anarchy, S06E13)


The second barbecue fork attack in an FX drama this year (Sons of Anarchy, S06E13)

  • "Trees are like women – the best ones make you work a little bit harder."
    […]
    "She's just not that into you." (Modern Family, S05E10)
  • "I'll see you in Vancouver, eh? No, Luke, do the accent again." (Modern Family, S05E10)
  • "Bitch, how you not the hobbit again?" (South Park, S17E10)
  • "What the head said!" (American Horror Story, S03E09)
  • "Witch hunters is white women's worry." (American Horror Story, S03E09)


(The Eric Andre Show, S02E10)

  • "We got Black Friday now? Barf. Wasn't February enough?" (Saturday Night Live, S39E09)
  • "All I want for Christmas is my two neighbours not to be Chinese anymore." (Saturday Night Live, S39E09)
  • "My heart and my genitals say 'no,' but my hypoglycemia says 'yes.'" (Saturday Night Live, S39E09)

#clipoftheweek

The Fat of the Land

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I yearn to attend an office Christmas party, with Secret Santa and whatnot.

Since graduating from college, I have either been unemployed in December, or employed by a company too small to bother with an office Christmas party, as I am currently.

I probably wouldn't have a good time at an office Christmas party, but I would like to experience one.

Eater's Digest: Los Angeles

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Pork belly is exasperatingly ubiquitous in Los Angeles. Every eatery seems to have a signature pork belly dish – a pork belly sandwich, or pork belly tacos, et cetera. In Venice, I visited a sandwich shop called Pork Belly's, and in Koreatown, there is a restaurant that serves "8 flavours of pork belly."


Pork Belly Chips (Beer Belly, Koreatown)
pork belly, sweet onion sugar, tabasco aioli

Chewy, bland, and paired with an acrid sauce – one of the rare plates in my life that I did not clean. My waitress graciously removed this atrocity from my bill.


Popcorn Bacon (Black Hogg, Silver Lake)
bite-sized house-made bacon morsels, maple crema

Or: Popcorn Pork Belly.

A nothing appetizer. Unlike pork belly chips, however, this one was at least mildly palatable.


Chicken Cracklin Sandwich (The Hart and the Hunter, Beverly Grove)
chicken skin, bacon, lettuce, tomato, avocado

Chicken skin > pork belly.


thebomb.com (Petty Cash Taqueria, Mid-City)
guacamole, sea urchin, chicharrones

Lives up to its name.


Pig Ear Nachos (Petty Cash Taqueria, Mid-City)
crema poblana, soft egg

A waste of pig ear. It could have been any meat.


Steak Fries (TLT Food, Westwood)
marinated steak, asian slaw, homemade wontons, cilantro chimichurri

An atypically fresh fries dish that I ordered instead of pork belly nachos.


Death by Duck (Beer Belly, Koreatown)
duck fat fries, duck skin cracklins, duck confit, raspberry mustard dipping sauce

My favourite fries dish that I ate in Los Angeles. It could use some more duck meat.


Galbi Poutine (Seoul Sausage Company, Little Osaka)
8 hr. braised short ribs, twice fried french fries, cheese, kim-chi pickled onions, avocado lime crema

Honourable mention fries dish.


Cheesy Churros (Petty Cash Taqueria, Mid-City)
butternut squash mole dip

I expected, like, cheesy bread, not cheese-dusted choux. The dip didn't help.


Cheesy Weezy (The Alibi Room, Culver City)
grilled sourdough with cheddar, peanut butter, caramelized bananas, salsa naranja, sesame seeds

It was like a vegetarian Elvis.

[The Alibi Room is the famed Kogi BBQ food truck's brick-and-mortar outpost, serving the same menu plus alcoholic beverages.]


53rd and 6th Lamb and Rice (Black Hogg, Silver Lake)
roast lamb belly, jasmine rice, harissa slaw, garlic cream

A fancy play on the lamb platter by New York City's famed 53rd and 6th Halal Guys food cart.


Zeek Po' Boy (Uncle Darrow's, Marina del Rey)
catfish, shrimp, tater salad

The best thing I ate in Los Angeles. Immensely satisfying.


Butter Biscuits (The Hart and the Hunter, Beverly Grove)
cinnamon honey butter, pimento cheese, blackberry jam

Stupendous buttery wonders. Wish they were bigger.


Deep Dish Apple Pie (Al Gelato, Beverly Hills)
3 layers of apples, homemade caramel sauce

The slice I received was like eight inches tall (hashtag Jason Biggs). Way too much apple – tart apple – wrapped in a crappy dough.


Snickers Pancake (Beer Belly, Koreatown)
pancake, snickers, whipped cream, syrup

You can't see it, but this brunch item is also studded with chunks of Snickers.

#eatersdigest

Now it's just Rival Schools and mewithoutYou on our car rides

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On Saturday, I awoke to my brother blasting "Demons" by Imagine Dragons on a loop for an hour. Home sweet Guantanamo.

I heard "She Knows" by J. Cole on the radio.

Evidently, the word "damned" is unsuitable for broadcast.

[blank] if I do, [blank] if I don't

The hang-ups with language in America dismay me.

[sees 2014 Grammy nominees for "Album of the Year"]

Ehh…looks about right.

No one over 35 should be able to compile a respectable "albums of the year" list. 35+ year-old contemporary music enthusiast is one step above cat lady.

My album of the year:

So who's eligible for an Oscar next year?

Alex Ebert (Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros)
All Is Lost

Arcade Fire and Owen Pallett
Her

Beyoncé
Epic

Coldplay
The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

Ed Sheeran
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

Jay Z
The Great Gatsby

José González
The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

Karen O (Yeah Yeah Yeahs)
Her

Kings of Leon
August: Osage County

Lana Del Rey
The Great Gatsby

M83
Oblivion

Pharrell Williams
Despicable Me 2

Skrillex
Spring Breakers

Taylor Swift
One Chance

U2
Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

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49. Black Scientologists (The Eric Andre Show, S02E09)

Stray Observations

  • "But then it was horribly ruined forever, like three out of five of my sexy parts after I had kids." (Bob's Burgers, S04E06)
  • "I still got two out of five sexy parts." (Bob's Burgers, S04E06)
  • "Look, I'm not insensitive to the needs of women. I mean, I read Jane Eyre in college. Or, no, Jane Austen." (Masters of Sex, S01E10)
  • "This is Principal Vagina. No relation." (Rick and Morty, S01E01)
  • "Oh look, honey, it's our son with Albert Ein-douche."
    "What?"
    "I'm an angry father, not an improviser." (Rick and Morty, S01E01)
  • "Tushy."
    "It's touché." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S01E11)
  • "Ciera, it was to rustle feathers."
    "Ruffle. Ruffle feathers."
    [pause]
    "You said 'rustle' feathers."
    "Rustle, ruffle, whatever. I don't care."
    "Russell is a first name. Ruffle is, uh…"
    "Rustle. R-U-S-T-L-E. Rustling leaves. You can also rustle feathers." (Survivor, S27E12)
  • "I ate my son for a Blu-ray player." (South Park, S17E09)
  • Bill Gates' "MS-DOS 13" tattoo (South Park, S01E10)
  • "Is that a Jumpin' Jack with cheese I smell?" (American Horror Story, S03E08)


(The Eric Andre Show, S02E09)

  • "Hey, Questlove's in the house."
    "Questlove, you're not in the house.
    "You're nowhere."
    "Questlove…I'm your father." (The Eric Andre Show, S02E09)
  • "Oh oh-oh, you don't know your basic facts." (Saturday Night Live, S39E08)
  • "A guy wearing a necklace over a turtleneck." (Saturday Night Live, S39E08)
  • Bill Brasky! (Saturday Night Live, S39E08)
  • "He once date-raped Karl Malone on a dare." (Saturday Night Live, S39E08)

#clipoftheweek

Dave Lozo just joined Google+

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Homecomings when you don't use Facebook:

Daddy: Your cousin Wayne is getting married next May in Taipei, and your cousin Emily is getting married next June in Atlanta. Can you attend their weddings?
Jon: Sure…

Jon: Why is Winston at home?
Daddy: He quit his job.
Jon: In this economy?

Jon: Why are B's kids here?
Mommy: She got a job.
Jon: Are they strapped for cash?

Jon: He opened a candy store? In Sacramento?

I have to attend an unnecessary business lunch today, and the middle-aged white people I'm meeting chose a Chinese restaurant. I'm not sure if it's because they like dim sum, or if it's because I'm Asian.

John Krokidas has been set to helm Standard Loneliness Package, based on a Charles Yu short story.

Pic is set in the near future, where a recent college graduate gets an entry-level job at a tech company where he's paid to experience painful events in other people's lives. He falls desperately in love with his boss, and tries to build a genuine relationship in a society that's becoming entirely virtual. [source]

I am all in on this film.

98 bottles of beer on the wall

on

Let's look at the cast of the Turkish adaptation of The Sopranos!


Melfi, AJ, Meadow, Tony, Carmela, Janice?, Junior, Christopher

Interesting that its producers cast actors who resemble the American cast.

Related: The Colombian adaptation of Breaking Bad –

Idea: A supercut of Colombian Walter Jr. reaction shots (0:27, 4:49).