Our kisses taste like alcohol, you know that means it's love

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Rory: i've never heard of this frank mcklusky film
Steven: it's like ace ventura

Surely they could've found a better third film, and one from 1994 like the other two.

Wikipedia » Notable films released in 1994:

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

Airheads
Blankman
Clifford
Exit to Eden
Junior
North
Serial Mom

All fine options.

Shirty Business

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Art Piece Idea: Imagine the Internet as a newspaper. Create and print a copy of that newspaper.

The front page story is spread across 22 pages.

All the columnists begin columns with "Hey guys." "Sorry I haven't written in a while…"

A "Dear Yahoo!" advice column.

Letters to the editor: "Your gay," "This has been flagged as spam."

Man-on-the-stweet answers to a hashtag. #MajorTurnOffs

A comics page composed of webcomics, rage comics, 4panes, macros.

Craigslist classifieds.

Television torrent listings.

Blank spaces/pages where ads were blocked.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

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6. Food Poisoning (Parks and Recreation, S05E12)

Stray Observations


Brock Lesnar shoot-hits Miz with a chair (WWE Raw, 02-04-13)

  • "I will Cal-cutt-a bitch up in here." (New Girl, S02E16)
  • "Is there another doctor in the house? With this crowd, I'm sure…" (New Girl, S02E16)
  • "I just wanted to listen to Taylor Swift alone!" (New Girl, S02E16)
  • "I'm a squirrel. You're my nut. Winter's coming. I'm gonna store you in my cheek, girl." (New Girl, S02E16)
  • "Whole world's a tree, Raylan. I'm just a squirrel trying to get a nut." (Justified, S04E05)
  • "What precipitated the change in your weather vane?" (Justified, S04E05)


Autumn's comically terrible gummy bear (Face Off, S04E04)

  • On the list of 'Things that shouldn't be encouraged with sitcom shout-outs,' The Cancellation Bear is high" (Suburgatory, S02E11)
  • "I'm all about banging clits, sucking tits, and taking shits." (Workaholics, S03E14)
  • "No fear, I like that. I also like the clothing company. I have a shirt. I'll give it to you. 'Second place, first loser.'"
    "Strong shirt…" (Workaholics, S03E14)
  • Same ending as Archer, S04E02 (Workaholics, S03E14)
  • "Community: Google Translate Edition" (Community, S04E01)
  • "If you're looking to buy some weed, I'm looking as well." (Parks and Recreation, S05E12)
  • Cheryl's human centipede paper chain (Archer, S04E04)
  • Over 75% of this episode is ripped word for word from Jim Jefferies' stand-up (Legit, S01E04)
  • "Mommy, what's a 'can't'?" (Legit, S01E04)
  • "The Irish were scurvy rich and trinket poor." (Newsreaders, S01E04)
  • "Boston: It's too cold in the winter, too humid in the summer, and too Irish all year round." (Newsreaders, S01E04)
  • Leo Fitzpatrick, who played a probie on Sons of Anarchy, plays the leader of a biker gang (Banshee, S01E05)
  • An Echo Kellum impersonation? (Saturday Night Live, S38E13)

#clipoftheweek

Ouroboros

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Previously on Adam Riff™:

My mother sent me an e-mail regarding Chinese New Year's Day.

On January 28th, from 11 P.M. onwards to Jan 29, 11 P.M., there are certain restrictions that should be observed, to ensure good luck and prosperity in the new year.

You should not eat crab, yams, mustard greens, daikon, grapes which includes wine, pumpkin seeds, duck eggs. However, you should eat dragoneye fruits, green apples, oranges, white sesame seeds, and bananas.

You should not wear these colors: tops should not be green, black or pink. Skirts or pants should not be yellow or grey. You should wear these colors: orange or red tops, and brown or blue pants or skirts.

It's that time again. In advance of the advent of the Year of the Snake on Sunday, my mother e-mailed me:

Jon,

From 23:00 on 2-9-13 to 23:00 on 2-10-13, please note:

Don't wear a white top or purple pants.

Do wear a light blue top and black pants.

Don't eat pork, shellfish, red beans, black rice, cucumbers, asparagus, bamboo shoots, honeydews, mangoes, watermelons, papayas, or pineapples.

Do eat oranges, Chinese cabbage, tofu, oatmeal, eel, beef, and green onions.

Raise Plow

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Okay, which New Edition, and which Jacksons?

For screenplays, the word "and" designates that the writers wrote separately and an ampersand ("&") denotes a writing team. So…R. Kelly stands in for Bobby Brown?

Obviously, the best case scenario is R. Kelly, Bobby Brown, and Jermaine Jackson sharing a stage.

My favourite part of this Voice ad is when Usher tunes the radio to a ska station and digs the song that's playing.

A third Cake Boss show?

Cake Boss is TLC's Seth MacFarlane.

So now reality television will be rescuing:
Restaurants
Hotels
Bars
Tattoo Parlours
Car Dealerships
Bakeries

Reality Show Idea: Public School Impossible with Michelle Rhee.

Philadelphia has some odd public art – a giant yellow macaroni noodle, a giant yellow Sorry! pawn, a Rocky statue, a limited edition Clooney Batman statue…

Bottom line……willing to pay someone to fix the statue as it is a BIG part of my business.

Floral Chlorofluorocarbons

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Daniel: Might want to invest in an apron.

Jon: I know. I just— I brush my teeth with my mouth open, and the toothpaste, you know, foams, and sometimes that foam…drips. But hey, if you ever find yourself in a situation where you have to shoot one of two identical Jon Yus, the real Jon Yu will have white stains on his clothes.

Daniel: Phrasing.

Comparatively, Under Armour = Nintendo, but perception-wise, Adidas = Nintendo.

Twitter disillusionment: Miyamoto's translator is a fervid Oregon fan.

Science Fiction Idea: A world in which you only live twice. Let's say that your soul transfers over to your second life.

Someone you kill can then kill you. A man overcomes his reincarnated situation to avenge his own death.

Someone you kill can then kill you, but then you can permanently kill him or her – and you know what he or she looks like.

A fugitive kills himself, complicating the manhunt. Convicts welcome the death penalty. Suicide is a gamble. You could receive a fresh start in worse situation.

Even Dave Kloc is right twice a day

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Pfff!

LOL Cool J, amirite?

LL Cool JK.

Mama said "get the fuck outta here."

Authentic music from an actor on a spin-off of a spin-off.

P.F. James.

Oh gawd… The first single is titled "Ratchet."

NCIS: No Crew Is Superior (2009)
In September 2009, LL Cool J released a song about the NCIS TV series based on his experiences playing special agent Sam Hanna. [source]

#authentichiphop

I dare say that Vanilla Ice is a more authentic 45-year-old.

Van Winkle is a Juggalo and a vegetarian. [source]