Welcome to Dead House

on

T minus 13 days until…

HOME ALONE 5: THE HOLIDAY HEIST (ABC FAMILY)
Eight-year-old Finn is terrified to learn his family is relocating from sunny California to Maine, and the scariest house he has ever seen! Convinced that his new house is haunted, Finn sets up a series of elaborate traps to catch the "ghost" in action. Finn's traps catch a new target – a group of thieves.

1. Home Alone is now a 22-year-old film franchise.

2. Malcolm McDowell plays the lead thief in Home Alone 5, stepping into the shoes of French Stewart. Finn's traps catch a group of droogs? (if only)

3. How humiliating to be thwarted by traps set for a "ghost."

4. My Home Alone 5: "Finn's traps catch a new target – his parents, returning home early from a Christmas party."

5. The premiere of Home Alone 5 will be preceded by Home Alone 4 and Home Alone. Disney can afford to acquire Lucasfilm, but not the broadcast rights to Home Alone 2 and Home Alone 3?

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

on

45. Iron Man Hulk Smash (Boardwalk Empire, S03E08)

Embedding disabled by request

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • "I can survive, I think. I've got 36 yoghurts." (Friday Night Dinner, S02E05)
  • "Men are from Mars, and women love penis." (Misfits, S04E02)
  • "If you think about it, any box could have vibrators in it." (Bob's Burgers, S03E03)
  • "I just want you to be my gangster." (Boardwalk Empire, S03E08)
  • Negro gets uppity and promptly dies. (The Walking Dead, S03E04)
  • Poor Carl. The first vagina he sees after hitting puberty is his mother's. (The Walking Dead, S03E04)
  • Fienberg: "Andrew Lincoln did some fine 'what's in the box?' acting. If you could juxtapose that with Brad Pitt's performance in the last scene of Se7en, I think you would discover that almost beat for beat, he carefully emulated Brad Pitt's performance."
    On The Walking Dead, Sarah Wayne Callies plays Andrew Lincoln's wife. On Prison Break, Callies' character's head ends up in a box. (The Walking Dead, S03E04)
  • "In Legally Blonde, Elle won her case because she was true to herself and dressed cute."
    "Haley, this is real life, not an excellent movie." (Modern Family, S04E07)
  • "The kugel is a gateway kugel." (Suburgatory, S02E04)
  • "Oh, hell yes! Asians!" (South Park, S16E14)
  • Dr. Hans Gruper. (American Horror Story, S02E04)
  • "Try to focus on his genitals." (American Horror Story, S02E04)
  • Dr. Hans Gruper vs. Anne Frank. (American Horror Story, S02E04)
  • "I was never in Auschwitz. I'm from Scottsdale!" (American Horror Story, S02E04)
  • "I just started singing, and it just started coming out of me, and, it felt awesome – like a really good poop!" (Glee, S04E05)
  • "[La Salle] sounds like a pasta dish." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S08E05)
  • "I'm outta here."
    "Car's in the back, Ruxin."
    "Oh, shit on a bum!"
    "Just kidding. It's in the front."
    "Oh, bum shits on me!" (The League, S04E05)
  • "‏@Hoya2aPacer: Peter is def the first observer! I'm calling it now!"
    Roy Hibbert is a Fringe fan.

#clipoftheweek

Coming Attractions

on

Zero Killed is a documentary about murder fantasies.

From 1996 to 2006, Michal Kosakowski interviewed various people about their murder fantasies and offered them the chance to stage their fantasies as a short film. The only condition was that you had to act in your film, either as a victim or a perpetrator.

49 films were created.

Zero Killed will screen next (in America) at the Horrible Imaginings film festival in San Diego on November 11, and at the Another Hole in the Head film festival in San Francisco on December 9.

#comingattractions

Chocolate chip cookie dough in a sugar cone

on

If CNN doesn't resurrect the will.i.am hologram tonight, at least we can enjoy will.i.am grooving to his update of Entertainment Tonight's theme song:

Ooh! Frank Ocean on terrestrial radio.

["Thinkin Bout You" ends]

DJ: Love that song. I hear good things about Channel Orange. I haven't listened to it yet – I know, I know – but I'm going to!

You are the afternoon drive-time DJ at an urban contemporary radio station. How have you not yet listened to one of the most prominent urban music releases of the year? Even if you don't personally gravitate toward urban music, shouldn't a professional DJ be interested in music in general, and, by extension, one of the best reviewed albums of the year?

Meanwhile, in contemporary rock radio:

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

on


44. Michael Jackson (Key and Peele, S02E06)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • Curtis is the blue power ranger (Misfits, S04E01)
  • Is that a scale model helicopter? (The Walking Dead, S03E03)
  • "Lovely heroin." (Boardwalk Empire, S03E07)
  • "I learned that beer tastes like pee pee." (A Very Venture Halloween, 10-28-12)
  • Woody Allen impressions (New Girl, S02E06)
  • Jackson 5 marionette costume (Happy Endings, S03E02)
  • "La Toya should always shut up." (Happy Endings, S03E02)
  • The same man who wrote Community's "Remedial Chaos Theory" episode wrote this?! (The Mindy Project, S01E04)
  • "Mr. Donaghy, your closing statements."
    "When our founding fathers first set out. Time and time again our nation horizon. Prosperity, dreams, freedom. But, the spirit, journey, destiny. Mitt Romney values, Jenna values. I've, met, people. For this generation, and generations to come. Thank you, America." (30 Rock, S07E05)
  • Jessica Lange's "drunk" (American Horror Story, S02E03)
  • "I'm off to find the Mexican." (American Horror Story, S02E03)
  • "Where do you think you're going…whore?" (American Horror Story, S02E03)
  • "I have an idea."
    "Jerk off party?" (The League, S04E04)
  • "Swim, swim, stab." (The League, S04E04)
  • Deleted scene:
    "And we're getting matching tattoos, on our dicks, of the Twin Towers."
    "Absolutely not!"
    "You're right, because then terrorists will target our dicks." (The League, S04E04)
  • Jason Mantzoukas wrote this episode. When the prosecutor [Nate Corddry] does well, Blake [Rob Corddry] compliments him, saying, "Great move, bro." "Wait, is he your brother?" another juror asks. Nate Corddry previously appeared as "Dr. Jason Mantzoukas" (Childrens Hospital, S04E12)
  • Lola on cocaine (Childrens Hospital, S04E12)
  • Peter!!! (Fringe, S05E05)

#clipoftheweek

Three Amigos

on

Jon: Do you know anyone in the United Kingdom?
Steven: Nope.
Jon: I need to buy a song from the UK iTunes Store for Adam Riff™'s year-end mixtape.
Steven: You can't find it on the web?
Jon: Illegally, only webrips. Legally, only available to UK residents.
Steven: http://www.7digital.com/artist/xxxxxxxxxx
Jon: UK only.
Steven: I have the song, but I'm not sure if it's good quality.
Steven: How can I tell?
Steven: Ah, never mind. It's shitty quality.
Jon: If it was 2002, I could probably buy it as an import CD single.

Jon: Oof. $100 for Snow Leopard on Amazon!
McKern: I think I still have it.
McKern: I can send you a disk image.
Jon: Never mind. I can buy it directly from Apple for $20.
Jon: Oh, but my MacBook's optical drive stopped functioning after I slipped on an icy sidewalk at Sundance and landed on my backpack.
McKern: *sigh*

Jon: Do you know anyone in the United Kingdom?
Steven: Sadly, no.
Steven: You still looking for that song, eh?

Jon: Oh. Don't overwrite the Twenty Eleven theme folder. I'm not using a child theme. I modified Twenty Eleven directly and can't create a child theme without first figuring out what I modified.
McKern: GOD, why did you do that?
McKern: If you knew how to use diff and patch, you could figure out the delta and bash it into a child theme relatively easily.
Jon: Relatively easily, if I could code functions from scratch.
McKern: Learn to be a real code monkey, Jon Yu.
Jon: That is not what I signed up for!

Today, I finally join the ranks of smartphone users.

650-515-6883.

[sends first text message] "Do you know anyone in the United Kingdom?"

…aaaaand he's currently 'shrooming.