America gone learn tonight

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// Las Vegas, NV

Post-COVID-19, fewer business here are open 24 hours, and among them are…select off-Strip Tropical Smoothie Cafes?

And not, like, a 24-hour drive-through.

I walked into one located in a strip mall at 02:00 on a Saturday and ordered a smoothie.

The poor middle-aged woman working the graveyard shift at a Tropical Smoothie Cafe.

Also here are, by my count, not one, not two, but three Crumbl knock-offs.

Cookie Friday, Crave Cookies, Twisted Sugar – all selling thick, circularly-frosted discs with rotating flavors.

Four similar cookie businesses, three of them chains founded in Utah, most all of their shops closed on Sunday.

Seinfeld should have made a film about this. Mormon cookie battle royale.

Palazzo has a Mediterranean restaurant from Israeli celebrity chef Eyal Shani.

Encore has a Mediterranean restaurant from Israeli celebrity chef Alon Shaya.

Uma, Oprah.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

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19. Waingro Does Stand-Up (John Mulaney Presents: Everybody's in L.A., 9 May 2024)

Stray Observations

  • "Gods abandon those who believe in them. Mutants do not." (X-Men '97, S01E09)
  • "Oh, my god! Your obsession with comparing me to Robert Carlock." (Hacks, S03E03)
  • "I have a question for you. What rhymes with 'flat tits'?"
    "I'll look it up on RhymeZone." (Hacks, S03E03)
  • "The Big Bad Voodoo Daddies." (Hacks, S03E04)
  • Shilo Sanders as Deion Sanders (BMF, S03E10)
  • </BMF, S03>
  • "I fucked a jar of mayonnaise once."
    "No, you didn't."
    "Yes, I did. Yes, I did. [pause] You ain't ever fuck no mayonnaise?" (Jerrod Carmichael Reality Show, S01E07)

I live inside my own heart, Matt Damon

on

The comedy world is in Los Angeles for the Netflix Is a Joke Festival.

At the end, all four comedians returned to the Bowl stage, as Seinfeld called to "bring out the greatest lineup of comedians I have ever played with in my life," and left while the theme song for his new movie Unfrosted played through the venue.

Craig Horlbeck:

It's funny that Netflix is kind of cornering this comedy market. Can you name a really funny television show that Netflix has created or a funny movie on Netflix?

Unbreakable Kim—no, NBC sold that to Netflix…

Big Mouth is polarizing…

Oh! I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson!

Netflix's funniest show being a bunch of comedy sketches is on brand.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

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18. Prime Time (X-Men '97, S01E08)

Stray Observations

Stray Observations

  • "Am I really supposed to pick that up now?"
    "Well, a civic-minded homosexual would."
    "Christ. You're right." (The Sympathizer, S01E03)
  • "Bastion's evolutionary war lasted 300 years."
    "So another dystopia where Logan's the last to die." (X-Men '97, S01E08)
  • "Take a seat, Logan."
    "Aw, Daddy's home." (X-Men '97, S01E08)
  • "I knew Mengele. He could've been so much more, but he settled on being a Nazi pup." (X-Men '97, S01E08)
  • "You have a Porsche?" (X-Men '97, S01E08)
  • "He must have been the one who sent those flowers that were on her desk. Of course. Look at his beard."
    "What does his beard have to do with anything?"
    "That's a date beard."
    "What is a date beard?"
    "I-I'm just saying he grows a really nice beard, you know? And that's…that's the kind of beard that you want to be on a date with." (Abbott Elementary, S03E11)
  • "You know, you talk a lot for a librarian. I can barely hear what others are plotting."
    "And I don't even think it's even about the hentai anymore." (Abbott Elementary, S03E11)


(Abbott Elementary, S03E11)


(Chucky, S03E08)

  • </Chucky, S03>
  • "Enjoy Montreal."
    "Oh, I won't. It's Paris in the ears, but Hartford on the eyes." (Hacks, S03E01)
  • </Shark Tank, S15>

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

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17. Shabbat (Knuckles, S01E03)

Stray Observations

  • "Flowers are only flowers because they fall But thankfully, the wind." (Shogun, S01E10)
  • "No translator." (Shogun, S01E10)
  • "How does it feel to shape the wind to your will?"
    "I don't control the wind. I only study it." (Shogun, S01E10)
  • "Let your hands be the last to hold her." (Shogun, S01E10)
  • </Shogun, S01>
  • "Perhaps the Professor's vision for the future was too nearsighted and begging for your tolerance was our first mistake." (X-Men '97, S01E07)
  • "I'm sorry. I have nothing."
    "Same, sugar." (X-Men '97, S01E07)
  • </American Horror Story, S12>
  • "Knuck, knuck. Knuck, knuck. You gotta say, 'Who's there?'"
    "Who's there?"
    "Knuckolas Cage."
    "Please stop." (Knuckles, S01E01)
  • "Can I get you anything, honey?"
    "Yes. Bring me your largest challah bread." (Knuckles, S01E06)
  • </Knuckles, S01>
  • </Baby Reindeer, S01>

Middle-earth Enterprises and Friends

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Black Twitter: A People's History (Hulu)
Premieres Thursday, May 9

Based on Jason Parham's WIRED cover story, "A People's History of Black Twitter," this three-part docuseries charts the rise, movements, voices, and memes that made Black Twitter an influential and dominant force in nearly every aspect of American political and cultural life.

LeBron-produced film about NBA Twitter to premiere at Tribeca Festival in June

Memes and Nightmares, which stars NBA Twitter titan Josiah Johnson, explores the idea of a popular J.R. Smith meme going missing and whether anyone would notice.

Need a Wrestling Twitter project to complete the triptych.

What is in the center of the Twitter Venn diagram?

The meme of LeBron taking a photo with his flip phone at WWE Raw?

What he did with cement was awe inspiring

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Idea: A strip mall featuring a marijuana-themed sandwich shop, a marijuana-themed taco shop, and a marijuana-themed cookie shop.

The founder of the marijuana-themed cookie shop chain also founded the MAGA açaí bowl shop chain.

I'm at the combination Cookie Plug and Freedom Bowls.


Mixed media: DALL•E 3 and Photoshop