Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

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42. Bloomin' Judy (The Righteous Gemstones, S01E09)

Stray Observations

  • "Sails out, nails out, bro." (Succession, S01E10)
  • "Karl sounds good. Sausage thief." (Succession, S01E10)
  • "Greg sprinkles" (Succession, S01E10)
  • "He ate my fuckin' chicken."
    "Mm-hm."
    "So, what next? Stick his cock into my potato salad?" (Succession, S01E10)
  • Succession Season Grade: B
  • "If you J.O.'ed me in my office, I wouldn't ruin the vibe by talking about my son or his birthday, and I would not cry when I shot." (The Righteous Gemstones, S01E09)
  • "You save that piss for my chest." (The Righteous Gemstones, S01E09)
  • The Righteous Gemstones Season Grade: C
  • Signal (Mr. Robot, S04E02)
  • Lavar Ball? (Black-ish, S06E04)
  • "Tall people get all the breaks. Picked first for basketball, last for Vietnam." (Black-ish, S06E04)


(Treadstone, S01E01)

  • "It's your fault my future is in radio!" (American Horror Story, S09E05)
  • "What are you doing here, man? It's, like, after midnight."
    "Oh, after midnight? What are you, like, in your 40s?"
    "Yeah. As are you." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S14E04)
  • Dee's jarabe tapatío (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S14E04)
  • "Yes, that also was a lie, but it was an inspirational one, like 'So great running into you,' 'We should get coffee some time,' or all of Instagram." (The Good Place, S04E04)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Succession
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: The Other Two

Don't be a fool! I will call you later.

on

// Louisville, KY

Did you know that the runner on the ankle of a hotel bed is so you can lie on the bed with your shoes on and not dirty the bedding?

First world solution.

Oh, housekeeping left reading material.

TOPS Louisville magazine…

"Part One of a three-part series covering a head-to-toe makeover for our Advertising Sales Manager."

"Restaurants featuring culturally themed menus."

I waited two hours at a karaoke bar to sing "The King of Wishful Thinking."

If only there was a way to combine on-demand Asian karaoke with the rush of white karaoke.

Glass rooms arranged in a circle, each with a dial to listen in on other rooms?

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

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41. Dennis without make-up (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S14E03)

Stray Observations

  • "Time for a blood sacrifice." (Succession, S02E09)
  • Sam Esmail: "Goodbye, friend." (Mr. Robot, S04E01)
  • "Who wants to suck an old man's dick?" (The Righteous Gemstones, S01E08)
  • "Urethra!" (The Righteous Gemstones, S01E08)
  • Edgy BJ (The Righteous Gemstones, S01E08)
  • "So basically what you're saying is you need black-up." (Black-ish, S06E03)
  • "So men are the white people of gender." (Black-ish, S06E03)
  • "You have the tendon dexterity of a sow." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S14E03)
  • "'Make the world your clam.'" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S14E03)
  • "It's not the clams!!!" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S14E03)
  • Retrospective of Dee's characters (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S14E03)
  • Charlie and Dennis making out (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S14E03)
  • "Oh, I don't want to taste your cheese. It's weird."
    "Well, I don't want to taste your cheese either!" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S14E03)
  • "Do you like hard candy?" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S14E03)
  • "You're like the Pam Anderson boob motorcycle of people." (The Good Place, S04E03)
  • Primal Season Grade: B

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Succession
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: The Other Two

Becoming Whole

on

// Louisville, KY

Uber #1

A Mercedes-Benz C-Class?

Oh. It's a white boy driving a hand-me-down.

What is that smell?!

Uber #2

♫ Eminem – "The Real Slim Shady" ♫

So this is Kentucky radio.

followed by
♫ Maroon 5 – "Harder to Breathe" ♫

followed by a radio station promo:
♫ a clip of Eminem – "Without Me" ♫
followed by
♫ a clip of a Maroon 5 song ♫

Uber #3

"Are you here for the IRONMAN triathlon?"
"Heh, no."

[fans self internally]

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

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40. Mid-Day News (Saturday Night Live, S45E02)

Stray Observations

  • Ken.W.A (Succession, S02E08)
  • "Give me the LaCie Rugged drive." (The Righteous Gemstones, S01E07)
  • "Doesn't matter. I love my bi son." (The Righteous Gemstones, S01E07)
  • "His knife versus my guns." (American Horror Story, S09E03)
  • Dolph Lundgren (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S14E02)
  • "Just give him an accent."
    "What kind of accent?"
    "What about Australian? That's pretty foreign."
    "No, that's not gonna work."
    "'Cause they're white."
    "No, because they're fun. They're a very fun group of people, right? I mean… Try to hate an Australian. It's impossible."
    "A bunch of rapscallions."
    "Little rascals." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S14E02)
  • "I'm mad, but I don't know at what anymore." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S14E02)
  • "Give me dong or give me death." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S14E02)
  • "No, no, no. Pirating is stealing. We didn't steal it, okay? We just downloaded it."
    "Uh, the website is called 'moviepirate.com.'"
    "And the other one is called, uh, 'freemovies/arrrgh.'"
    "Ahhh, I'm starting to see a little bit of a pattern here, because, uh, I also use one called 'stolenmovies.free.'" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S14E02)
  • "Put on the Auto Motion Plus." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S14E02)
  • "The Jacksonville Jaguars cut Blake Bortles." (The Good Place, S04E02)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Succession
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: The Other Two

Damn, Damn, Buttermilk Jesus

on

Sketch Idea: A reality show in which 10 Breitbart devotees are dropped in, like, Gold Coast and forced to survive.

Hyde Park?

Idea: A reboot of HBO's Oz entirely starring entertainers whose careers were derailed by sexual misconduct: Jeffrey Tambor, Kevin Spacey, Louis CK, James Franco…

That awkward moment when you select "no tip" on the tablet as the employee ringing you up watches.

All I did was buy a cookie!