Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

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39. Drifters (Cake, S01E01)

Stray Observations

  • "I'm gonna move to Malibu Beach, shave my pussy, learn to surf."
    "Shave your pussy? Why you gonna shave your pussy?"
    "So I can surf faster, Jesse! All y'all trying to suppress me, tell me I can't shave stuff." (The Righteous Gemstones, S01E06)
  • "Don't shave your pussy. Your time will come." (The Righteous Gemstones, S01E06)
  • "She can know who George Washington was and still fuck." (The Deuce, S03E03)
  • "I don't give a fuck! Frisée fucking Lardon!" (The Deuce, S03E03)
  • "Look, some dickhead broke into your apartment and attacked you. That's gotta super scary. I mean, a stranger once grabbed my boob outside a Sam Goody, so I get it." (American Horror Story, S09E02)
  • "Do you want to know the other great thing about God? You can use him to explain why something happened, but you can also use him to explain why you did something. Even something horrible. Isn't that great?"
    "So I don't have to feel bad for anything I do?"
    "Not if you're doing God's work." (American Horror Story, S09E02)
  • "Dude, go first."
    "Fuck you! Why me?"
    "You're a world-class athlete. You're faster than all of us."
    "I do the fucking pommel horse!" (American Horror Story, S09E02)
  • "So let's kick things off with our official Bad Place song."
    ♫ "1-877-KARS for Kids…" ♫ (The Good Place, S04E01)
  • "I tried talking to her, but it was the dullest conversation I have ever had, and this is coming from someone who once split a Xanax with Peter Sarsgaard." (The Good Place, S04E01)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Succession
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: The Other Two

Pitmaster Ramone

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I enter the men's bathroom at my gym and see a homeless-looking dude at the sinks with a bunch of crumpled paper grocery bags on the countertop.

No home, but a gym membership? I wonder.

// 30 min later

I enter the men's bathroom at my gym and see said homeless-looking dude shirtless and making a smoothie, a waste bin beside him on the floor.

So the paper bags contained produce…

I notice a peeler, but instead of chopping up an apple, he take bites of it, chews vigorously, and spits into a two-thirds-filled blender jar.

// 30 min later

He's still making smoothie?

It is 12:30 a.m.

I'm making smoothies in the men's bathroom at my gym and this Asian dude in a ratty Ed Hardy shirt keeps coming in to pee.

Shirt Idea: The BVLGARI logo, but it reads "BVLGOGI."

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

on


38. "Misbehavin'" (The Righteous Gemstones, S01E05)

Honourable Mention

  • "We Here For You" (Succession, S02E06)
  • Opening credits (American Horror Story, S09E01)

Stray Observations

  • "You don't really hear much about syphilis these days. Very much the, uh, the MySpace of STDs." (Succession, S02E06)
  • "Hey, uh, big fan, uh, of, of all your money." (Succession, S02E06)
  • "You doin' the ol' cocaine?" (Succession, S02E06)


(The Righteous Gemstones, S01E05)

  • "Well, like Patrick Swayze said, 'Opinions vary.'" (The Righteous Gemstones, S01E05)
  • "Look at that. That is a ninja star with a booger on it. That's beautiful, son." (The Righteous Gemstones, S01E05)
  • Christopher Durang (The Deuce, S03E02)
  • James Franco kissing himself (The Deuce, S03E02)


(MasterChef, S10E24/25)

  • "Fuck the IOC." (American Horror Story, S09E01)
  • "This Might Help" (South Side, S01E10)
  • "Why do we have to re-invent the wheel? This is Chicago. Can't we just do another shooting?" (South Side, S01E10)
  • South Side Season Grade: C


(Top Boy, S03E05)

  • Top Boy Season Grade: C

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Succession
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: The Other Two

Looking forward:

Dreams Money Can Buy

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Back from the Toronto International Film Festival.

My Instagram Stories coverage of it is compiled here.

My TIFF 2019 top five:
1. Parasite
2. Jojo Rabbit
3. Uncut Gems
4. La Belle Époque
5. Bad Education

If I'm a pleb for liking Jojo Rabbit, so be it.

We are not talking enough about Netflix's formidable fall film slate. It's like Netflix engineered it to cover every Oscar base, like Ted Sarandos mandated a big five sweep in 2020 after Roma lost Best Picture to Green Book.

Netflix can push five performances for Best Actor and realistically score four nominations.