On November 23, FOX presents a special two-hour prequel to Day 7 of 24, shot on location in South Africa. [more]

Jack Bauer: When Nature Calls!







Capture your own!

Face for radio? No, a face (and a voice) for silent film.

You've seen the shirt, now listen to this.

Let me get this straight — DreamWorks flew Jack Black and Angelina Jolie to Cannes to promote...Kung Fu Panda?

The Cannes Film Festival is just a fancy MTV Movie Awards.

• Matthew Ziegler
• Kids drawings come to life
• Facebook beer pong balls
• Quiz: Are You An Online Jackass?

Jonah Hill in negotiations to develop '21 Jump Street' movie

It hasn't been decided whether Hill will actually star in the movie, but he'll work on the screenplay. [more]

Odds that Richard Grieco cameos: 100 percent!

related: Jonah Hill no longer in talks for 'Transformers 2'

The Simpsons Movie, 90210, 21 Jump Street — when in doubt, mine Fox's early years, I suppose.

What about a Married...with Children redux on pay cable or Tim and Eric's Get a Life on [adult swim]?

A film adaptation of Herman's Head by Charlie Kaufman would be interesting.

If I was James Carrey, I'd push for an In Living Color movie, a la an Apatow production with appearances by recurring characters.

Wikipedia's list is missing Background Guy. The one set at a beach was my favourite.

» I sent a package today to a customer named Connie Linkous. What an unfortunate oronym.

» Jerry Sloan looks like he should be interviewing someone on 60 Minutes.

» Vujačić just missed another three.

» Free association: Avery Johnson? Dirty Sanchez.

» I can't find my fuckin' humidifier! My left nostril has donated at least a pint of blood in the past week.

» To this day, I'm surprised that the Backstreet Boys needed someone to show them the meaning of being lonely.

• Frog Migration: Omen to China Earthquake Disaster
• I'm not crazy, right?

Spellbound commenced a steady flow of 21st century documentaries on offbeat competitions: Scrabble, ballroom dancing, quad rugby, air guitar, jump rope, Donkey Kong, et al.

Up next: grocery bagging, crêpe making and beer pong.

Still available: cup stacking, bird calling, Rubik's Cube.

» The Sex and the City movie is 135 minutes long. Iron Man is 126 minutes, Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is 123.

» My impression of the new Apple Store in Boston:



» What is the appeal of Provolone cheese? It doesn't taste like anything!

» Ryan Adams and Mandy Moore — another reason to greenlight Celebrity Double Dates. Pair 'em with Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson.

• Sony PlayStation 3 Thumb Ad (NSFW?)
• The Vicious Cycle
• A New White Person Complaint Daily
• MUTO

Sorry, Jon Wilcox. I was too busy to create a birthday post for you.

jk, jk...

Ahem.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JONNY!!!!!



I ASKED THE GUY "WHO YOU SO FLY?"
HE SAID "FUNKY COLD MEDINA"



HAVE A GOOD SUMMER! SEE YOU IN THE FALL!

a gift

The 1UP Yours crew (well, Shawn) recently pondered Grand Theft Auto's next move.

Now that they've got the equivalent of Vegas, L.A., San Francisco, New York and Miami, what's left? People have already done London. I think they've done Paris. If not, someone's doing it. What else are they gonna do? Chicago? Is that that different?

Chicago would only be interesting if it's Prohibition-era Chicago, which would limit the selection of vehicles and weapons considerably.

I heard a rumour that Niko is headed to San Andreas, but I hope Rockstar is more creative for episode ten.

Suggestions:

Hong Kong
• no Asian GTA protagonist yet
• Tokyo is banal
• associated with gangsters
• residents speak English
• glitzy, seedy, over-the-top gambling mecca Macau is nearby (expansion area)

Future City a la Blade Runner
• deviates from the realism of previous GTA games, but permits impossible vehicles and weapons
• future satire
• GTA 2 references

Rio de Janeiro a la City of God
• missions in sprawling favelas
• "driving in Rio is hazardous due to aggressive driving habits, poorly maintained roads and the risk of being intercepted by bandits, especially at traffic lights"
• prostitution is legal
• soccer and baile funk > bowling and a comedy club

» Mariah Carey's first husband was 21 years older than her. Her second husband is 10 years younger than her. She'd be terrible on The Price Is Right.

» On Monday Night Raw, I glimpsed a guy wearing Insane Clown make-up. How is that nonsense still around?

» On Dancing with the Stars, a couple somehow danced to "Satellite" by Dave Matthews Band.

• Things Younger Than John McCain
• "Hot Tub Time Machine"
• KY Couples Lubricants

• Fox nixes adaptation of Spaced

• Fox picks up animated comedy from creator of Arrested Development
voice cast: Jason Bateman, Will Forte, Will Arnett...

• Gabe Sachs and Jeff Judah (Freaks and Geeks) to run 90210 update

Daughter Annie (Shenae Grimes) and adopted boy Dixon (Tristan Wilds) attend West Beverly Hills High. [more]

Darcy on Degrassi: The Next Generation and Michael on The Wire are the leads!

Jennie Garth is joining the cast. Tori Spelling too?

At Mother's Day lunch:

"Johnson's parents bought a house in his name in Palo Alto."
"Oh?"
"They paid $2.1 million — in cash."



"In cash?"
"They needed to best a $2.1 million offer that required a loan."

Poor CEO... He needed a loan to buy a $2.1 million house! A LOAN! Bwah!

I completed online traffic school over the weekend.

Not sure why I had to read about provisional licenses and motorcycle helmets, but whatever.

Highlights of the reading material:

Eyeglasses usually consist of a pair of lenses mounted in a frame to hold them in position before the eyes.

o rly?

More deadly than leukemia or muscular dystrophy, collisions also cripple or disfigure thousands of youngsters for life.

"I'm a monster!"

In the late 1980s, drivers in the United States, apparently frustrated by increasing congestion, began fighting and shooting each other on a regular basis, victims of what the popular press termed "road rage."

Shooting each other on a regular basis?

If the hood opens suddenly:
• Slow down.
• Try to look under the hood to see.

[pause]

—i need to find a name for my new car.
—you name your cars?
—you don't?
—why would i name my car?
—i call it "my car."
—car naming is very common.

White people are weird.

—is calliope a bad name for a car?
—for a car, yes. for a unicorn, no.
—duly noted; i will continue to vet other opinions.

» When I am king of the world, if I have to stand on a bus, all the women on the bus will join me in standing, so I can feel tall.

» I discovered today that my laptop's weather widget was set to "Mountain View, AR." That explains all the mysterious thunderstorms.

» I saw an ad on the back page of the latest SF Weekly for an "Infrared Weight Loss Body Wrap."

» For a band name, Beerijuana is so bad, it's good.

» Wait... Daughtry has a hit song about being over someone and a hit song about not being over someone?

Wiki: Daughtry's self-titled debut album has yielded seven singles.

"I took my love down to Violent Hill..."

I keep hearing "violent" instead of "violet," like Elmyra in the episode of Tiny Toon Adventures that parodied Saturday Night Live.

• Culinary Abortions from Japan
• looking for blacks
• When Obama wins

Hours? For a pizza? A Papa John's pizza?

I shouldn't talk. I once waited four hours in line to see the movie Spy Game.

Erik Reichenbach from Hell, Michigan stands accused of being the "dumbest Survivor ever," and he can't argue.

Wiki: Hell's main export is kitsch.

Reality TV World: So what's next for you?

Erik: I'm pretty much working in Hell scooping ice cream until I graduate in December. [more]

Ha!

• Michel Gondry Entertained For Days By New Cardboard Box
• Your Life Ambition