Adam Riff™

10. Original Hold Music (Extraordinary, S02E04)

Stray Observations

• "You really are a mewling vulva, Mr. Schiff." (The Regime, S01E01)
• "It speaks of a very unusual perversion. A man attracted to a thimble-sized fairy."
  "Tinkerbell fine as fuck." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S12E05)
• "How 'bout Foots?"
  "Foot Zeckelman?"
  "Foots." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S12E05)
• "There's nothing in the Torah about defamatory bricks." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S12E05)
• "There's nothing in the Old Testament about defamatory bricks?" (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S12E05)
• "I don't tell you what to do with your semen."
  "Well, what am I gonna do with semen?
  "A normal man knows what to do with semen."
  "I do normal things with semen. I wipe it up and throw it away." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S12E05)
• "Oh, anal leak. I can't do it." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S12E05)
• "If he's not a warlock, he's most certainly a pimp." (Shogun, S01E03)
• </The Traitors [USA], S02>
• "Does he have the mind of a child or an old man?"
  "I want my raisins."
  "I can't tell." (Extraordinary, S02E02)
• "Look, Carrie, you have been given a gift. You're single on Halloween. It's the perfect time to step out of your comfort zone. There's so many options: Classic slսt, topical slսt, scary slսt, slսt slսt…"
  "Can I be a slut on Halloween? Sluts don't have to pay capital gains tax, do they?"
  "Unfortunately, sluts do have to pay tax." (Extraordinary, S02E03)

(Extraordinary, S02E03)

• "Why don't you come on in here and help me wipe, big boy?" (Extraordinary, S02E03)
• "I've seen this before. A man in my village when I was small."
  "How did you drive it out?"
  "Well, we beat him with sticks. And it turned out he wasn't possessed in the end. He was just Portuguese." (Extraordinary, S02E03)
• "Is it too late to be a slut?" (Extraordinary, S02E03)
• "Oh, my God. Kiss." (Extraordinary, S02E04)
• Derek Jacobi reading Jen's lies (Extraordinary, S02E05)
• "Okay, triage! What's gayest?" (Extraordinary, S02E06)
• "Stop titting my macarons." (Extraordinary, S02E06)
• "Does he know his penis is still out?" (Extraordinary, S02E06)
• ♫: Vundabar – "Alien Blues" (Extraordinary, S02E07)
• "These are your character sheets. Study them, okay? They have to feel real, like whole, complex humans."
  "Mine just says 'girl.'" (Extraordinary, S02E07)
• "But what about the city?"
  "It's just Milton Keynes. Who gives a shit?" (Extraordinary, S02E08)
• </Extraordinary, S02>

9. Remembering Dipper (The Daily Show, 26 Feb 2024)

Honourable Mention

• Art car fight (Furies, S01E08)

Stray Observations

• "Does your husband have a very low-hanging scrotal sac? A lot of guys do."
  "Oh, my God."
  "How long is it? When he goes to the bathroom in the night, can I just say…"
  "No, you can't just say!"
  "I hear them slapping on his thighs."
  "Get…"
  "It sounds like, you know…"
  "Get the hell outta here."
  "A flip-flop in a Mexican resort." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S12E04)
• I came here in '72, clutching my rosary. Visions of the souls I would save. Then I learned the true tenets of the cloth: Silk, gold and guns." (Shogun, S01E02)

(Abbott Elementary, S03E05)

• "It's just… It's not working. It's like a DC movie over here." (Abbott Elementary, S03E05)
• "What is a choir if not a sorority for the Lord?" (Abbott Elementary, S03E05)
• "I am not Christian enough for them."
  "All because you got a few piercings? If anybody can appreciate a few extra holes in their bodies, it's Jesus." (Abbott Elementary, S03E05)
• "Zach has already started writing a one-man show about me. He's calling it Fleabag, but with an 'F.'"
  "Fleafaf?" (Abbott Elementary, S03E05)
• "Is the dick that good?"
  "It's worth every goddamn inch." (BMF, S03E01)

(Furies, S01E01)

• </Furies, S01>

8. All Our Vice (Abbott Elementary, S03E05)

Stray Observations

• Doomcore ♫: The Beatles – "Twist and Shout" (True Detective, S04E06)
• </True Detective, S04>
• "However good a shot you think you are, you could have killed Teresa, and trust me, I don't think you could have lived with that."
  "You don't know what I can live with."
  "No, what I meant, Henri, is that I would've fucking killed you." (Monsieur Spade, S01E06)
• "Aren't there are plenty of your fellow patriots in Argentina that you can write angry manifestos and compare kill lists with? Leave me to enjoy my cognac and foul cheese in peace?" (Monsieur Spade, S01E06)
• "You sound like a leaflet someone dropped from an airplane." (Monsieur Spade, S01E06)
• "The child was born in Algeria, which makes him a French citizen."
  "Or an Algerian, depending on your point of view."
  "He was technically born in France."
  "One would have to practically break one's spine to get into that particular position." (Monsieur Spade, S01E06)
• "Philippe made the mess. I just tried to clean it up."
  "You pick up vomit with a teaspoon, you make a bigger mess."
  "What a swell metaphor."
  "I read a lot of E.E. Cummings. A small constabulary on the ass end of a giant hole is no match for the big guns elsewhere." (Monsieur Spade, S01E06)
• "One doesn't go to bed one person and wake up another just because one says so."
  "You mean people are simpler than they think? I had no idea."
  "I mean people know what they want. The rest is justification. Take you, for example… You wanna be left alone. You live in a quiet little village where the locals know just enough about you to leave you be."
  "You've read my mail."
  "And yet, sadly, our pasts are portable." (Monsieur Spade, S01E06)
• </Monsieur Spade, S01>
• "I think the brain and the balls are related. If you take a magnifying glass and you put it on your balls, it's the same pattern as the brain." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S12E03)
• "My point is lemons are a fungible citrus." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S12E03)
• "You tell him about the Postmates dinner?"
  "I did."
  "What'd you tell him? You just went like this. You didn't do anything."
  "That's the sign for 'Postmates dinner.'" (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S12E03)
• "Every Black person you meet, you say 'brother' to? 'Hey, brother'?"
  "You say 'brother' and you give him one of those right there."
  "Uh-huh. Yeah. You too?"
  "Respectful nod."
  "A nod is like our aloha."
  "I don't do a Jew nod."
  "You know, you guys got that song already, 'Hey, Jew.'" (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S12E03)
• "All Black balls are like this." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S12E03)
• Larry watching Live By Night (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S12E03)
• "Where did you even get a cigarette?"
  "Yeah, what you, a French child?" (Abbott Elementary, S03E04)
• "Oh, it's nice to meet you, Jessica."
  "Jessca. There's no 'I.' Jess…ca." (Abbott Elementary, S03E04)
• "Hi."
  "Hmph. Bet you are." (Abbott Elementary, S03E04)
• "Now, I admit that it make you look cool. But it make your breath smell like stool. And that's poop." (Abbott Elementary, S03E04)
• "Pay attention so you don't die." (Abbott Elementary, S03E04)
• "Okay, alright… It just seems like most drugs aren't that bad."
  "Fine, you can smoke a little! Just don't do opioids!"
  "My grandfather's on opioids."
  "Drugs from a doctor are okay."
  "My mom's on Valtrex."
  "That's fine. Your mom has herpes." (Abbott Elementary, S03E04)
• "Exile makes sex more felt." (Feud, S02E05)
• "He ran!" (Avatar: The Last Airbender, S01E02)
• </Avatar: The Last Airbender, S01>
• </Expats, S01>