Adam Riff™

20. Ear (Trust, S01E08)

Stray Observations

• "When Hairy Met Smoothie: Smoothies and Hair Removal." (Bob's Burgers, S08E18)
• "She was going through something. I'm not allowed to say what, but it rhymes with 'botched shmemorrhoid surgery.'" (Bob's Burgers, S08E18)
• "Describe him."
  "Good-looking, but not too good-looking, like the Planters Peanut." (Bob's Burgers, S08E18)
• Mr. Robot (Bob's Burgers, S08E18)
• "She's heading towards downtown."
  "Where the young professionals are. They love smoothies and hair removal." (Bob's Burgers, S08E18)
• "That is not easy to look at."
  "It's like something you dance around at Burning Man." (Bob's Burgers, S08E18)
• "Was it an Asian woman with amazing hair?" (Killing Eve, S01E06)
• "You live only as long as the last person who remembers you." (Westworld, S02E04)
• "They said there were two fathers – one above, one below. They lied. There was only ever the devil, and when you look up from the bottom, it was just his reflection laughing back down at you." (Westworld, S02E04)
• "I am so full of crudité!" (Bob's Burgers, S08E19)
• "I can't believe my last meal was crudité!" (Bob's Burgers, S08E19)
• ♫: "Mommies Are the Best" (Bob's Burgers, S08E19)
• Did he kill an actual lamb? (Trust, S01E08)
• "I don't want to talk to Gilfoyle. He's a racist and a witch."
  "I'm not a witch." (Silicon Valley, S05E08)
• "How would you like to die today, motherfucker?" (Silicon Valley, S05E08)
• "I'll host the fucking brunches!" (Silicon Valley, S05E08)
• Silicon Valley Season Grade: D
• "Cut him up into manageable pieces. No one likes lugging around 50 kilos of torso." (Barry, S01E08)
• "So I burned a CD for this very moment. Apocalypse Now, motherfucker."
  [plays CD]
  "What the fuck is this?"
  "That's 'Flight of the Bumblebee.'" (Barry, S01E08)
• "So essentially with these men trying to pit two crime organizations against each other, thus reaping the benefits of their demise, much like the Kurosawa movie Yojimbo. I'll open it up to some questions."
  "Michael Leslie, KNX News Radio. Can you spell Yojimbo, please?"
  […]
  "…such films as Rashoman, famous for…"
  […]
  "…K-U-R-O-S-A-W-A. Anything else?"
  "Yes. Was Yojimbo his only film?" (Barry, S01E08)
• Barry Season Grade: A
• Black-ish Season Grade: C
• "Really, just take a small toke. It's not that strong. It's so weak, they call it 'Gun Control in America.'" (New Girl, S07E07)
• "Or I strap on a spare patch, and Nick marries a sexy fly." (New Girl, S07E07)
• "Merle said he's not publishing Chicago Hobo, and then a bird pooed on me.
  "What do you mean he won't publish it?"
  "Where's the bird? I'll poo on him." (New Girl, S07E07)
• Robert Smigel (New Girl, S07E07)
• "You wouldn't believe how good I am at fitting multiple things into small spaces. I'm a bento box boy!" (New Girl, S07E08)
• "I tore my anus." (New Girl, S07E08)
• "I got to say, I really like foot lotion."
  "Thank you."
  "They should make more foot lotion for your hand – foot lotion hand." (New Girl, S07E08)
• New Girl Season Grade: D
• "Ask yourself: What's more terrifying: Fear, or the frightened?" (Legion, S02E07)
• "I've never even heard of it."
  "That's because it's on some designer drug shipment. Brooklyn-exclusive, man, but it's about to be popping everywhere soon."
  "I saw this on Vice. It's real." (The Last O.G., S01E07)
• "You promised me a brothel, Hiram." (Riverdale, S02E22)
• Riverdale Season Grade: D
• Roy Rogers (The Americans, S06E08)
• "I got something for you."
  [it's food] (The Americans, S06E08)
• "I'm just glad my sons have my husband's name."
  "Isn't Norm's last name 'Glasscock'?"
  "Yeah… My grandson Harry has a scar where a bully threw a glass dildo at his head. Do you know how hard it is to find a glass dildo in the Ozarks?" (Brockmire, S02E04)
• "Harlot want a cracker?" (Brockmire, S02E04)
• ♫: System of a Down – "Chop Suey!" (Saturday Night Live, S43E21)
• Saturday Night Live Season Grade: C

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Deuce
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Barry

#clipoftheweek

• A Frighteningly Accurate Analysis Of Mario Kart's Politics

19. Speedballing (Patrick Melrose, S01E01)

Honourable Mention

• Barry and Chris in the car (Barry, S01E07)
• David watches a mouse sing Bryan Ferry's "Slave to Love" (Legion, S02E06)
• Marilyn's post-mortem fate (The Americans, S06E07)

Stray Observations

• "That's impossible!"
  "You know I hate the word 'impossible' unless it's immediately followed by the words 'ghost' and 'protocol.'" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E20)
• Speed Racer (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E20)
• "I don't get the internet with my Netscape Blip." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E20)
• "Oh, my God, they're in a penis punch 69!" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E20)
• ♫: Sitar-driven "Seven Nation Army" (Westworld, S02E03)
• The Last Man on Earth Season Grade: C
• "Richard, adversity is a great teacher, just like cigarette burns." (Silicon Valley, S05E07)
• "Paul, let me show you something. Do you know what a hammer is?"
  "Yes."
  "And do you know what a nail is?"
  "Yes."
  "Well, that, young man, is all you need to know about crucifixion." (Trust, S01E07)
• "Do you want to know what happened to this poor fellow here? It was perfectly unpleasant." (Trust, S01E07)
• Subtitles crumbling and collapsing (Trust, S01E07)
• Rob Delaney (Trust, S01E07)
• "Recently, our dear friend Ryan Madison was taken away from us too soon. Because of this, all of the proceeds from tonight's show will go towards the fight against violence." (Barry, S01E07)
• "Alapse, poor pbpbpb. Fuck. Forgot my line." (Barry, S01E07)
• "So anyway, I'm on the back of a Jet Ski with Cornel West, and he tells me, 'Hey, you're leaning too far to the left.' I said, 'No, you leaning too far to the left."
  "Oh! I see what you did. I see it."
  "Y'all talking about Cornel West?" (New Girl, S07E05)
• ♫: Noah Hawley and Jeff Russo – "I'd Love to Change the World" (Legion, S02E06)
• A Clockwork Orange (Legion, S02E06)
• "In the ancient days, mankind built a tower so high that it threatened to touch Heaven, and God cursed us with foreign language, misunderstanding, and the inability to communicate. But I know what's in the heart of every man, woman and child on this Earth. Gone is the confusion, the division. I am the great uniter." (Legion, S02E06)

(Legion, S02E06)

• ♫: Noah Hawley and Jeff Russo – "Superman" (Legion, S02E06)
• Arrow Cheryl (Riverdale, S02E21)
• "Untie her, you Serpent hag." (Riverdale, S02E21)
• ♫: grandson – "Blood // Water" (Riverdale, S02E21)
• "You're a brown Joe Buck."
  "Ha ha ha. No. Joe Buck is a white me." (Brockmire, S02E03)
• "I also represent some actors. I have four clients on Love and Hip Hop: Atlanta right now." (Atlanta, S02E11)
• "Is that beer?"
  "[pause] Nah…" (Atlanta, S02E11)
• "I know you sell weed, so you don't care about time."
  "True." (Atlanta, S02E11)
• "This school is awful!" (Atlanta, S02E11)
• "When you piss, do you go straight through the zipper or do you go over the boxers?"
  "Over the boxers."
  "Yeah, me too. But is that the right way, though?"
  "I don't think so." (Atlanta, S02E11)
• "Mr. X?" (Atlanta, S02E11)
• "Do you think there's a black lawyer who's as good as your cousin?"
  "There definitely is, but, um, part of being good at your job are your connections, and black people just don't have the connections that my cousin has – for systemic reasons." (Atlanta, S02E11)
• "Y'all take RushCards?" (Atlanta, S02E11)
• "I see you, man. I see you learning. But learning requires failure. Al just trying to make sure you ain't failing in…in his life. You know, like, y'all both black, so, I mean, y'all both can't afford to fail."
  "Do Nigerians get a chance to fail?"
  "Hey, don't you start that. You know Nigerians don't fail." (Atlanta, S02E11)
• RT: Darius subtly wearing a gold grill to get his passport photo (Atlanta, S02E11)
• "Niggas do not care about us, man. Niggas gonna do whatever they gotta do to survive 'cause they ain't got no choice. We ain't got no choice either. You my family, Earn. Yeah, you…you're the only one that knows what I'm about. You give a fuck. I need that." (Atlanta, S02E11)
• ♫: Nina Simone – "I Shall Be Released" (Atlanta, S02E11)
• "Listen, man, I got Chinese food with a side of chocolate." (Atlanta, S02E11)
• Atlanta Season Grade: A

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Deuce
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Barry

#clipoftheweek