This game has been as good as Justin Timberlake

on

"ALT 105.3 New Music Discovery: MISSIO – 'Everybody Gets High.'"

[eye-roll]

♫ Once upon a time in a land far away
There lived a little boy and he drank all day
Friends called him stupid and his brothers called him gay
Emptied all the bottles 'til the pain went away ♫

Isn't this the same group behind that "middle fingers in the air" song?

Yup, same group.

♫ I used to drink whiskey, now I'm stuck with Perrier
I'm an alcoholic, middle fingers in the air
I'm a starving artist nowhere close to millionaire
I prefer my Kia, middle fingers in the air ♫

How old is this lyricist?

26.

What was I doing when I was 26?

Previously on Adam Riff™ (March 2009):

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

on

5. Papa Poutine (Riverdale, S02E12)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • Shameless Season Grade: D
  • Justin Forsett and Miesha Tate (Shark Tank, S09E20)
  • "You can't scrub it from the internet. Everything on the internet is permanent. It's digital herpes." (Crashing, S02E03)
  • "Of all the people in the world that you could've pissed off, Bill Burr is the worst. He's out there, he's, he's…MMA! He's involved with the MMA community! He's friends with Joe Rogan!" (Crashing, S02E03)
  • "And after the 11:00 news, it's The Late Show With David Letterman."
    "Louis, you can stay up and watch that old man and his piano gremlin, but I'm going to bed." (Fresh Off the Boat, S04E14)
  • "He's having a panic attack! Breathe into your mother's knock-off purse." (Fresh Off the Boat, S04E15)
  • "Why does he suddenly need to breathe into my authentic Chanel purse?" (Fresh Off the Boat, S04E15)
  • "Oh, no! He's having a panic attack! Who has a knock-off Chanel purse he can breathe into?" (Fresh Off the Boat, S04E15)
  • "How do you shower?" (Black Lightning, S01E03)
  • "Don't sexualize my name, please." (Baskets, S03E02)
  • "Never trust anyone with three names. James Earl Ray. John Wilkes Booth."
    […]
    "David Lee Roth." (Baskets, S03E02)
  • "On Law and Order, bartenders are always being evasive for no reason." (Baskets, S03E02)
  • "Could I compensate you for that information? I've got a couple of fives and some Certs." (Baskets, S03E02)
  • "What? He's a shepherd from the Basque region in Bakersfield?"
    "Yeah, there's a big Basque community here, and I met him outside the feed store." (Baskets, S03E02)
  • "Sorry, I got a carrot delivery." (Baskets, S03E02)
  • "What, you gotta pee al fresco or something?" (Baskets, S03E02)
  • "And this is a perfectly acceptable moonwalk!" (Speechless, S02E14)
  • "I'm Hyman – Cooper."
    "Hyman. Did that mean something different when you were born?"
    "Wait, you haven't heard of me? The pervert ghost of Brakebills?" (The Magicians, S03E04)
  • "Oh, Josh is my idol. That man is a vagician." (The Magicians, S03E04)
  • "Imagine the Patriot Act never existed." (Corporate, S01E04)
  • "You spend years fighting corporations and then finally you have to admit to yourself you love Southwestern Eggrolls." (Corporate, S01E04)
  • "The protest is now a pro-fest in Protest Fest, a four-day music festival celebrating protesting. Headliners include: Kanye West, Rage Against the Machine, and LCD Soundsystem, playing their final show on Friday and their reunion show on Saturday." (Corporate, S01E04)
  • "Anyway, I gotta go deejay the Devour mac and cheese rave." (Corporate, S01E04)
  • Post-murder ham (The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story, S02E03)
  • "Anyway, I took a deep breath, told them I ate a Cheeto, and walked away." (The Good Place, S02E12)
  • Ted Danson tending bar (The Good Place, S02E12)
  • The Good Place Season Grade: B


(A.P. Bio, S01E01)

  • "Boston's not even a real city. It’s a college town with a fishing pier." (Saturday Night Live, S43E13)
  • Max Headroom (Altered Carbon, S01E05)
  • ♫: Sune Rose Wagner – "More Human Than Human" (Altered Carbon, S01E06)
  • "Do you remember when I almost got fired for saying I could see your areolas through your shirt?"
    "Vaguely." (Altered Carbon, S01E08)


(Altered Carbon, S01E10)

  • Altered Carbon Season Grade: B

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Deuce
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Nathan For You

#clipoftheweek

Eleven-inch dong.

on

Previously on Adam Riff™ (April 2012):

Jon: The Beastie Boys' first three albums are the Star Wars: Episodes IV-VI of white rap — and their last three albums are Episodes I-III.
Kurt: What are Ill Communication and Hello Nasty then?
Jon: Indiana Jones films?

Did you know that Weezer has released 11 albums?

Weezer albums are like seasons of The Real World. I am intimately familiar with the first few and then…

Huh. No Atlanta season.

Birthright Israel is a not-for-profit organization that sponsors free ten-day heritage trips to Israel for young adults of Jewish heritage, aged 18–32. Tours travel throughout the country to religious and cultural sites, including in Jerusalem, the Western Wall, and the Dead Sea.

The Mole is a reality television game show. Players must work together to complete various physical and mental challenges to build up a significant cash prize for the winner. One of them, however, is "the Mole," a double agent hired by the producers to sabotage the efforts of the group.

Idea: Birthright Israel Mole. Who on this trip to Israel is actually a gentile?

Sketch Idea: A Food Network show about a homophobic bakery.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

on

4. Easy Lover (The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story, S02E02)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • Wale (Crashing, S02E02)
  • "I know you're high. I'm Dr. Oz." (Crashing, S02E02)
  • "Hey, as a frequent flyer, I'm used to this plane being a capitalist hell state, but I'm swiping my credit card and my seat won't recline."
    "Oh, it looks like the guy behind you paid double to keep yours in the upright position." (LA to Vegas, S01E04)
  • "I'm losing track of this conversation. Let's everybody go around and say what we're angry about. So far, I've got cheating, gender labels, and roast beef." (LA to Vegas, S01E04)
  • "Okay, that's enough screen time for you." (LA to Vegas, S01E04)
  • "They've taken all the dignity out of flying. Judy Garland once said she had the best bowel movement of her life after eating a salmon mousse on a TWA flight to Paris." (LA to Vegas, S01E04)
  • In-flight flu shot (LA to Vegas, S01E04)
  • "No mansion has a mansion next door that looks exactly like it." (Alone Together, S01E03)
  • "There was lotion on my hands, and now this tastes like lotion."
    "Welcome to being a girl. I haven't tasted real fruit since I was 11." (Alone Together, S01E03)
  • "Our boat wants to fuck your boat, and we can't leave until he does." (The Magicians, S03E03)
  • "So, what? I just tell our boat to spread it for their boat and we're done?" (The Magicians, S03E04)
  • "So these pirates are asking us to let our boat get raped?" (The Magicians, S03E04)
  • "Before this, I used to think that pirates were kinda cute in a Johnny Depp sort of way, but the fact is, the real thing is kinda dirty and fucked up…in a Johnny Depp sort of way." (The Magicians, S03E04)
  • Aimee Mann (Corporate, S01E03)
  • "In the words of one of my actual friends, ya basic. It's a human insult. It's devastating. You're devastated right now." (The Good Place, S02E11)
  • "'Fair' is the stupidest word humans ever invented, except for 'staycation.'" (The Good Place, S02E11)
  • "Quvenzhané Wallis and Stephen Hawking in the same room discussing me? Guess they must've made up." (The Good Place, S02E11)
  • "You know, I've done things that you would never have approved of. I died, dressed as someone in the service industry, I shagged a Floridian, I even ate a Cheeto. That's right. Chewing it was deafening." (The Good Place, S02E11)
  • "And since it seems you love humans so much, I'll torture you like one. All you'll have for entertainment is that giant stack of New Yorker magazines." (The Good Place, S02E11)
  • Jim Rash and Nat Faxon (Great News, S02E13)


"Okay, but are you gonna sue them? Or them? Or— Okay, well, I guess not them." (Great News, S02E13)

  • Great News Season Grade: C
  • "Yahtzee ISIS queef." (Saturday Night Live, S43E12)


(Saturday Night Live, S43E12)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Deuce
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Nathan For You

#clipoftheweek