Deja Entendu

on

Previously on Adam Riff™:
On May 1, Adam Robot and I each drafted 10 films set for release between May 1 and August 31. Whoever's slate earns the most money domestically by Labour Day wins. I won a pre-draft game of rock-paper-scissors to select first, after which we alternated selections.

Let's check the board:
 

Jon
1. Captain America: Civil War $377,193,948
2. Finding Dory
3. Suicide Squad
4. Independence Day: Resurgence
5. Star Trek Beyond
6. Jason Bourne
7. Now You See Me 2
8. The Purge: Election Year
9. The Conjuring 2
10. The Secret Life of Pets
$377,193,948

 

Adam Robot
1. The BFG
2. Alice Through the Looking Glass $34,174,000
3. X-Men: Apocalypse $80,000,000
4. Ghostbusters
5. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows
6. Warcraft
7. Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising $40,680,180
8. Pete's Dragon
9. Central Intelligence
10. Ice Age: Collision Course
$154,854,180

 
I was gonna draft Alice Through the Looking Glass with my third pick. Dodged a bullet.

Seven releases in June – four for me, three for Adam Robot. I smell blood in the water.

The Devil and God Are Raging Inside Me

on

My mobile's alarm sounds at 3:00 AM.

—Guh. Am I really doing this?

I climb out of bed, throw on a hoodie, and depart for the restaurant.

I had seen celebrity chef David Chang post about Sun Nong Dan on Instagram and wanted to try it whilst in Los Angeles. The restaurant is a short walk from the hotel I was staying at.

Because Sun Nong Dan doesn't take reservations, I planned to eat dinner there on a Wednesday, figuring it would be least busy mid-workweek, and arrived at 8:30 PM to 12-15 people standing outside and a waiting list beside its entrance.

—Goddammit.

—Welp, I leave Los Angeles tomorrow, so it's tonight or bust.

I would have arrived earlier, but a co-worker roped me into eating Korean waffle pizzas with him after work.

Fortunately, Sun Nong Dan is open 24 hours.

I returned to my hotel room debating when better to return to the restaurant.

—Midnight? No, too early. Remember, Asians are more nocturnal than others.

—6:00 AM? No, too risky. According to Yelp, its beef ribs can sell out. I don't want to have to settle for a soup, as delicious as they may be.

I settled on 3:00 AM, as it is the hour of day when the largest percentage of Americans is asleep. Also, who eats beef ribs at 3:00 AM on a weekday?

On approach to Sun Nong Dan, I see someone standing outside.

—Are you having a fucking laugh?

It is 3:12 AM on a weekday and the restaurant is still full, still buzzing.

I write my name on the waiting list and wait approximately 15 minutes to be seated.

It is 3:45 AM on a weekday and I am at a strip mall eating $46 spicy braised beef ribs.

Back to 3:12 AM.

The someone I see standing outside Sun Nong Dan is an Asian dude, whom the night manager of the restaurant welcomes inside in Korean before speaking to me, also an Asian dude, in English.

I mean… I don't speak Korean – but what if I did??? Shibal…

He just assumed! Correctly, yes, but… Don't judge a gook by its cover.

To try when I am in Los Angeles next:


"Koreatown's Pleasure Palace of Duck"


The Korean J-Shaped Ice Cream Cone

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

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22. Hold the door (Game of Thrones, S06E05)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • "Mom! Don't eat the shoulder cheese!" (Bob's Burgers, S06E18)
  • Smash cut to a penis (Game of Thrones, S06E05)


(Game of Thrones, S06E05)


RT: This is the first thing said to Hodor when Hodor first appears on GAME OF THRONES. (Game of Thrones, S06E05)

  • "Ain't nobody want to live in a world without girl-on-girl action and ground beef." (The Carmichael Show, S02E12)
  • "Just to be clear, if I turn on the parental control setting, I can block the lesbians and still stream Ellen?" (The Carmichael Show, S02E12)
  • "I hate this stupid toilet that Felix put in here. It doesn't even have a seat!"
    "It's Swiss."
    "It's like a really nice prison toilet." (Bob's Burgers, S06E19)
  • "I'm not dying. I'm just getting my butt skin ripped off so I can be in a magazine." (Bob's Burgers, S06E19)
  • "Bob got stuck on a toilet and all I got was a great slice of pizza from Jimmy Pesto's" shirt (Bob's Burgers, S06E19)
  • Bob's Burgers Season Grade: C
  • The Burp King of Westchester! (Preacher, S01E01)
  • The sales employees playing lacrosse (Silicon Valley, S03E05)
  • "It really hurts to roll my eyes." (Veep, S05E05)
  • "Ain't no challenge been invited Jonah Ryan can't do."
    "Ice bucket challenge. You backed out of that."
    "Ice bucket challenge can suck my dick."
    "Well, it did raise a lot of awareness for whatever ALS is." (Veep, S05E05)
  • Square One Television (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E24)
  • "Eddie, here's the thing: We all want Alison to say the punchline to the crack joke. Alison wants to say the punchline to the crack joke." (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E24)
  • "It's a Chinese polite fight. You're never supposed to give in." (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E24)
  • "We recorded a more age-appropriate program for you to watch."
    [Mama's Family opening credits]
    "Ah-ha! Those hayseeds!" (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E24)
  • "You said 'yes'?"
    "In the middle of a Chinese polite fight?!" (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E24)
  • "Who knows what my life could have become? Maybe we would have sat next to my mullet at the restaurant." (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E24)
  • "I'm just glad he [Chris Rock] doesn't do lame Asian jokes." (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E24)
  • "The Browns are leaving Cleveland." – well-played slow play (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E24)
  • RT: "Much wobbling in the '95-'97 zone in this one…Cleveland Browns '95, Bring the Pain '96, Backstreet Boys got famous… (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E24)
  • Fresh Off the Boat Season Grade: B-
  • The Night Manager Season Grade: C


(Lady Dynamite, S01E06)

  • "You know what deflation is? Ambition just leaving your body." (Lady Dynamite, S01E06)
  • "It's chapter two in my book – Keepin' It Carol, Carol Simples."
    "Oh, that's fun that you didn't go with the obvious pun."
    "What do you mean?"
    "Keepin' It Simples."
    "Oh, my God! I left it on the table. Shit! Fuck! What am I gonna do with all those fucking mugs?"
    […]
    "It is a calendar for ladies called a 'palendar.'"
    "You didn't go for 'galendar'?"
    "[straining] What in the shiiiiiiiit, Carrrooolll!" (Lady Dynamite, S01E08)


Adrian Zmed (Lady Dynamite, S01E08)

  • Apple's "1984" ad? Apple's "1984" ad (Lady Dynamite, S01E10)
  • Lady Dynamite Season Grade: C-

The New AR™TV World Drama Champion: Game of Thrones
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Baskets

#clipoftheweek

Nagelfluh

on

Well, this is unexpected.

Rory: The whole album?
Jon: The whole album.

Pitbull's next album is titled Climate Change.

Pitbull's Discography
Planet Pit (2011)
Global Warming (2012)
Meltdown (2013)
Globalization (2014)
Climate Change (2016)
Heat Wave (2017)
World Hunger (2018)
Forced Migration (2019)
Universal Healthcare (2020)

Love means never having to say you're zombie

on

Production values are on the lower end of the spectrum compared to, say, a cornerstone of the genre like Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, although the mutant donut prosthetics and snappy lines of dialogue help differentiate this effort from a pure parody like The Attack of the Giant Moussaka. [source]

The world's most dangerous city, with the most dangerous rap group, harassed by the most dangerous police force, will now battle with [the] world's most dangerous huge-ass snake! [source]


OH YEAH!!

After a series of bad relationships, cynical Sean finally meets his true love – Emily. Everything is perfect until she confesses to him she is a "nail clipper monster," a special subtype of humans that eats nail clippers. Can love help him override his suspicions and believe in this tall tale? [source]

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

on


21. Fred Poets Society (Saturday Night Live, S41E21)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • Torienne (Game of Thrones, S06E04)
  • Daario's trucker mudflap dagger (Game of Thrones, S06E04)
  • The Last Man on Earth Season Grade: C-
  • "It tasted like a big ol' mouthful of divorce." (Cutthroat Kitchen, S12E07)
  • "Compromise is the shared hypotenuse of the Conjoined Triangles of Success." (Silicon Valley, S03E04)
  • "You're gonna cancel this recount like Anne Frank's bat mitzvah." (Veep, S05E04)
  • "Why would China go through Qatar?"
    "Qataris love to insert themselves. They're wet-fingered."
    "They're into ass play?"
    "No, they have a gift for sensing prevailing political winds."
    "I bet they're into ass play too." (Veep, S05E04)
  • Louis C.K. wins (Jeopardy!, 05-18-16)
  • Rhonda straightaway choking Anika (Empire, S02E18)
  • Xzibit (Empire, S02E18)
  • ♫: Desiigner – "Panda" (Empire, S02E18)
  • "Why would you listen to a crackhead?" (Empire, S02E18)
  • Empire Season Grade: D
  • Black-ish Season Grade: C+
  • PMS Bites? (Shark Tank, S07E29)
  • "Maneesh, you're an asshole. Get of the fuck outta here. Fuck you." (Shark Tank, S07E29)
  • Shark Tank Season Grade: C
  • "Nothing good happens in basements." (Banshee, S04E08)
  • Banshee Season Grade: D
  • Saturday Night Live Season Grade: C-
  • "Pound a taquito, dawg, and relax." (Trailer Park Boys, S10E02)
  • "Comedians don't always have to be on, but you also want to give a little bit more than Rob Reiner." (Lady Dynamite, S01E02)
  • "Hello, you've reached Jack Tripper at Wilkins and Marshall, a division of the Three Company." (Lady Dynamite, S01E04)
  • Maria dates Brandon Routh in S01E04 and Dean Cain in E05 – back-to-back Supermen (Lady Dynamite)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The People v. O.J. Simpson
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Baskets

#clipoftheweek

God, let it be this time I get it right

on

Previously on Adam Riff™:
I am chuffed to present Backwash, a podcast by Adam Robot and I.

Episode 16:


iTunes link / Google Play Music link

1. Flea's National Anthem / WrestleMania Tweets
2. Marijuana Serving Sizes / License Plate Frames / Draymond Green
3. Star Wars Noobs vs. Prank Conversations / Your vs. You're / Jews vs. Nazis
4. Black and White / Marvel's What If
5. Emo Equivalents / Every FX Original Series

recorded on April 10/17, 2016

Adam Robot: Jesus. This recording is so old I reference Prince and he was ALIVE at the time.
Jon: You are the GRRM of podcast editing.

#backwash

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

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20. The Day After (The Americans, S04E09)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • A gay boy whose sexuality is unacknowledged (Bob's Burgers, S06E16)
  • "The true history of the world is the history of great conversations in elegant rooms." (Game of Thrones, S06E03)
  • A fart joke (Game of Thrones, S06E03)
  • "My watch has ended." (Game of Thrones, S06E03)
  • "This meeting cannot make it past the school book depository."
    "I'm loading my gun and heading to the sixth floor." (Veep, S05E03)
  • "This is like that famous scene from the movie Heat. You know, with De Niro and Brenneman." (Veep, S05E03)
  • "Take your romance, and your memories, which are a most kind fiction, and go." (Penny Dreadful, S03E02)
  • "There's only seven types of stories: Man vs. man, man vs. dog, dog vs. zombie, James Bond, stories of kings and lords, women over 50 finding themselves after divorce, aaaand car commercial." (New Girl, S05E21)
  • ♫: Langhorne Slim and the Law – "Changes" (New Girl, S05E21)


(Grandfathered, S01E22)

  • Grandfathered Season Grade: C
  • New Girl Season Grade: C
  • The Grinder Season Grade: C
  • "Oh, and watch out. My sister has herpes." (Empire, S02E17)
  • "A real dog can always tell a fake bitch." (Empire, S02E17)
  • "How do you know I ain't turn him into my little bitch? He came on to me. I ain't come on to him."
    "Exactly. I bet you he's on top." (Empire, S02E17)
  • "The day you die from AIDS, I'm gon' celebrate." (Empire, S02E17)
  • "Does he look fat?"
    "The TV adds 10 pounds. Plus, he broke his diet." (Empire, S02E17)


(Empire, S02E17)

  • "Why would you undo all the good that you've done? Don't Phantom Menace yourself." (Black-ish, S02E23)
  • ♫: Rae Sremmurd – Unlock the Swag (Black-ish, S02E23)
  • Straight-up porn! (The Americans, S04E09)
  • ♫: Yaz – "Winter Kills" (The Americans, S04E09)
  • ♫: Deutschland 83's theme music (The Americans, S04E09)
  • "My bush looks like I'm sitting on Jerry Garcia's face." (Archer, S07E07)
  • "We're taking him to a strip club."
    "Give my regards to all the molestees." (Archer, S07E07)
  • "I suppose this is as attractive as these two are ever going to be."
    "Unless we can find some mole's blood."
    "I have some. Oh, wait, this is vole's blood." (Archer, S07E07)
  • The Amazing Race Season Grade: D-

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The People v. O.J. Simpson
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Baskets

#clipoftheweek