Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


41. Guns (Saturday Night Live, S41E02)


Stray Observations

  • This Is England '90 Season Grade: B-
  • "I'll bet you don't even like nip slips!" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S03E02)
  • "Once again Scully's butt is the downfall of this precinct." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S03E01)
  • "I can learn to love nip slips." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S03E02)
  • Fear the Walking Dead Season Grade: D+
  • For your consideration: Kevin Carroll (The Leftovers, S02E01)
  • Darius McCrary and Mark Linn-Baker – TGIF-overs (The Leftovers, S02E01)
  • ♫: Accordion "Informer" (The Last Man on Earth, S02E02)
  • Will Ferrell (The Last Man on Earth, S02E02)
  • "Oh, farts." (The Last Man on Earth, S02E02)


(The Last Man on Earth, S02E02)


(Cutthroat Kitchen, S09E08)

  • The Strain Season Grade: D
  • "Being nice is something stupid people do to hedge their bets." (Rick and Morty, S02E10)
  • "The whole planet's on a cob!" (Rick and Morty, S02E10)
  • ♫: Nine Inch Nails – "Hurt" (Rick and Morty, S02E10)
  • Rick and Morty Season Grade: B
  • "Shyamalan…" (Grandfathered, S01E02)
  • "Shaquila." (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E03)
  • "There are worse situations to be in, right?"
    "Like AIDS, you mean?" (The Grinder, S01E02)
  • "I don't understand what you're getting at. Are you on bath salts?" (Scream Queens, S01E04)
  • "I refuse to die hungry." (Scream Queens, S01E04)
  • "Ain't no toppin' me…pause." (Empire, S02E03)
  • "What would you say is your favourite crab-based saying?" (Black-ish, S02E03)
  • "Profession listed as 'Oscar blogger.'" (American Horror Story, S05E01)



(American Horror Story, S05E01)

  • ♫: She Wants Revenge (American Horror Story, S05E01)
  • Hidden Tetris and candy room (American Horror Story, S05E01)
  • ♫: "Hotel California" (American Horror Story, S05E01)
  • Evidently, DraftKings paid for a whole season of product placement (The League, S07E05)
  • The burp king of Westchester (The League, S07E05)
  • "Jimmy, you're not writing recaps, are you?"
    "Oh, Jimmy, are you grading this episode?" (You're the Worst, S02E05)
  • "Ugh, that sausage wallet. I hope she gets pregnancy 'roids and they leave her bedridden and I have to raise her baby myself. I'd parent the shit out of her. 'Wear that skirt. Don't blow that boy. This is pizza.'" (You're the Worst, S02E05)


(You're the Worst, S02E05)

  • "I didn't even get to see the cool parts of Iraq. I was in Fallujah, which is basically their San Diego." (You're the Worst, S02E05)

#clipoftheweek



Soon?

In the same old haunts I still find my friends

// VANCOUVER, BRITISH COLUMBIA

Had me a swell birthday in my favourite place on Earth. Ate a Nanaimo bar for breakfast, ran the 9 km portion of the seawall around Stanley Park, saw a grey whale in English Bay while running, ate dinner at the second best restaurant in Canada. Didn't have time to walk the Nanaimo Bar Trail, though. Next visit.

Cooler tree in Vancouver: The oak tree rooted above the top floor penthouse at Eugenia Place or the Trans Am Totem?

Cooler homeless person I encountered in Vancouver: The one with a sign noting "two pet male rats" or the one with no legs and a rabbit in his lap?

Insite is the only legal supervised drug injection site in North America, located at 139 East Hastings Street, in the Downtown Eastside (DTES) neighbourhood of Vancouver, British Columbia. [source]

It's like parents supervising underage drinking, but for heroin.

I passed a marijuana dispensary in the East Village with a claw machine containing marijuana-related prizes.

578 Carrall is the Dr. Sun Yat-Sen Classical Chinese Garden.

This one-of-a-kind experience is inspired by the gruesome stories of Judge Dee: China's Sherlock Holmes. [source]

When you have to tell an inquisitive U.S. border protection officer that your day job involves reforming America's immigration system.

Fantasy Has Come 2 Seatown

While waiting to board my flight to Seattle, a husky dude sat down beside me and pulled out his mobile. I looked over and…

Is he using Grindr?

Yes, yes he is.

Also my flight to Seattle was a husky ginger wearing a Macklemore shirt.


And husky dude wearing a tilted top hat makes three.

While exiting the aircraft, I noticed that husky dude wearing a tilted top hat was also wearing a dog collar.


// SEATTLE, WASHINGTON

Tony: When I was in Copenhagen, Allison and I ate this fancy restaurant.
Jon: Uhh…
Tony: Not Noma. It was a spin-off.

Tony: Allison ordered a dish that featured bone foam, which friends later pointed out sounds like jizz.

Tony: E.T. bone foam.

Tony: Jane and her neighbour did not get along. Before Jane left, she peed on her neighbour's welcome mat. She wanted to poop on it, but if she peed on it, then her neighbour would be crazy, not her.

Our uberX driver turned the radio on as we approached downtown Seattle and "Downtown" by Macklemore was playing. I thought of husky ginger.

Idea: A Mountain Dew-themed amusement park. Each ride is named after a flavour of Mountain Dew – Baja Blast, Code Red, Live Wire, Voltage…

Mike Kelly's height shocked me.

Was he this tall when we first met? Is he somehow still growing?

Chris: Is Pete Davidson master robot on SNL?
Jon: What?
Chris: Is Pete Davidson master robot on SNL?

Is he having a stroke?

OH. He thinks Pete Davidson looks like Rami Malek. Should I inform him that "master robot" is actually Christian Slater?

FanDuel and DraftKings are illegal in Washington state, so Washingtonians are bombarded with ads for nothing. It's kinda like Sonic [Drive-In].

Jon: You lived in Southern California for 30 years and buy a convertible after moving to Seattle?

Elizabeth: Initially, I thought "no firearms" signs in restaurants were a joke, but Washington is an open carry state. Thing is, firearms are only illegal in the bar area of a restaurant. You can carry in the rest of the restaurant – where alcohol is also served.
Jon: So if you have a hit out on you in this state, don't sit at the bar when dining out.

UCLA always loses when I'm in Seattle.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

40. End of the Road (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E02)


Honourable Mention

  • The Last Supper (The Is England '90, S01E03)
    [shot in two takes, the first of which was half an hour long]
  • Salt Lake City Sneaker Fetishist (True Life: My Fetish Is Ruining My Life)
  • CtPaTown Ad (South Park, S19E03)

Stray Observations

  • ♫: Evangelist – "Whirlwind of Rubbish" (The Is England '90, S01E03)
  • "We've uploaded police academy to your brain – the movies and the actual training."
    "They are funny, except for 5." (Bob's Burgers, S06E01)
  • "He and mom are hitting it off like peanut butter and Jerry. You know, the kid from school who has peanut butter every day? Jerry?" (Bob's Burgers, S06E01)
  • "Oooh. I just got the weirdest feeling inside."
    "Could be salmonella. That's what most weird feelings inside are."
    "No, it's like, uhh, something got on the wrong track a long time ago."
    "It could also be diarrhea." (Bob's Burgers, S06E01)
  • "Hi. Gina Linetti, the human form of the 100 emoji." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S03E01)
  • "No, Madeline, I don't have my own pigeon pants." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S03E01)
  • "Let's blow some tiny minds." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S03E01)
  • Atticus Ross getting a main title theme credit for one note (Fear the Walking Dead, S01E05)
  • "I'm an addict."
    "No, you are a heroin addict. That's the gold standard. Don't sell yourself short." (Fear the Walking Dead, S01E05)
  • "What part of 'I'm setting my gems' do you not understand?" (The Last Man on Earth, S02E01)
  • Phil blasting M.I.A.'s "Paper Planes" in the car with the song's gunshot samples drowning out Carol's actual gunshots (The Last Man on Earth, S02E01)
  • "Today, I made for you Far East China Sesame Chicken. It's no vegetable because they so poor in far east China." (Cutthroat Kitchen, S09E07)
  • ♫: Tony! Toni! Toné! – "Feels Good" (Rick and Morty, S02E09)
  • "Four lunatics and Barbara?" (Gotham, S02E02)
  • Edward Nygma Stefan Urquelle-ing (Gotham, S02E02)
  • "I'm a 50-year-old bachelor. We're society's most worthless people." (Grandfathered, S01E01)
  • "That's the saddest sentence I've ever heard. It's like a poem." (Grandfathered, S01E01)
  • "I'm cool. I watch Portlandia. I almost went to Coachella last year until I decided not to." (Grandfathered, S01E01)
  • "You look a little young for a doctor. Could you get someone older? Asian if you got it." (Grandfathered, S01E01)
  • "What part of 'hashtag teen life' do you not understand?" (The Grinder, S01E01)
  • Rob Lowe dropping a "literally" (The Grinder, S01E01)
  • "My cheese tool!" (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E02)
  • "Horse dumplings!" (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E02)
  • "I don't think that's cute. I think it's freaky. It's like a curse. It's like this poor baby angered some witch who cursed her to be trapped in a cabbage body, and now she needs an emperor's kiss to release her from the curse, but the emperors are gone, replaced by democracy, so this poor cabbage baby is left alone in the fields to be pecked at by crows, and then a photographer comes along, and he takes a photograph of her, and he sells it for lots of money, but he leaves her alone to a life of misery, for who could ever love a cabbage-faced baby?" (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E02)
  • "Enough Little Man Boys!" (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E02)
  • "I thought you might like this alarm clock better. The lazy dog tells you when to get up." (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E02)
  • Ed Sheeran (The Bastard Executioner, S01E04)
  • Death by chicken drumstick (The Bastard Executioner, S01E04)
  • This show's take on a teenage hipster… (Modern Family, S07E02)
  • "My partner Clyde told me." (Empire, S02E02)
  • "We had one white girl, one black girl, and one Hispanic. I'm-a call them 'Rainbow Sensation.'" (Empire, S02E02)
  • "Anika knows marketing. She made a whole career selling her ass."
    "Oh, as opposed to you and your stellar career in pharmaceuticals?" (Empire, S02E02)
  • "Thirsty Rawlings." (Empire, S02E02)
  • Oh. Clyde is Petey Pablo's character (Empire, S02E02)
  • "Shower machete?" (Black-ish, S02E02)
  • "That makes it look like you ate Eddie Murphy." (Black-ish, S02E02)
  • "Somebody's in the house."
    "Then why are we in here? What's dad gonna do? Suck salsa off the burglar's shirt?"
    "Don't worry, guys. I know karate. Mop the floor! Mop the floor!" (Black-ish, S02E02)
  • "Let's go child labour force, let's go!" (South Park, S19E03)
  • "The Villas at Kenny's House." (South Park, S19E03)
  • "Juices?!"
    "What's wrong with that? What are you gonna call it?"
    "I call it 'love foam.'"
    […]
    "It's called 'brine," because it's salty and it tenderizes meat." (The League, S07E04)
  • The music composer for the film Whiplash wrote this episode (The League, S07E04)
  • "Scrambled eggs? A dish so pedestrian its name is the recipe?" (You're the Worst, S02E04)
  • "Nathan and Tall Nathan are from a local comedy school, and they're gonna be teaching us a lesson in improv. Studies show that this can help with trauma-induced anxiety."
    "We know what you've all been through, and we're sensitive to it. [pause] Okay, let's start. Who wants to play a gay banana?" (You're the Worst, S02E04)
  • "I stopped you from investing in Sufjan Stevens' broth restaurant." (You're the Worst, S02E04)
  • Lindsay scraping microwaved semen into a coffee mug (You're the Worst, S02E04)
  • "Sandwich, Massachusetts." (Review, S02E10)
  • Review Season Grade: B
  • "I'm preparing the butter to sauté you in." (Shark Tank, S07E02)
  • RT: A lady on Shark Tank is crying about her eyelash extension business. It's not weird at all. Not thinking about Lexapro right now. (Shark Tank, S07E02)

#clipoftheweek

Eater's Digest: Washington, D.C.

Previously on Adam Riff™:


I didn't chronicle my last trip to D.C. (Jan 2014). Just know that the frites at Granville Moore's are compulsively edible.

August 2015
the partisan / thomas foolery / captain cookie and the milkman / board room / bethesda bagels / sundevich / thip khao / gbd / nando's / woodward takeout food / compass rose / daikaya / red apron butcher at union market / ice cream jubilee / maketto


Duck French Toast Panini (The Partisan)
duck confit, foie gras, red wine duck jus, fried egg


K.F.P. (The Partisan)
korean fried pig foot, valentina hot sauce butter, blue cheese

Rotissi-fried Chicken (The Partisan)
half fried, half roasted, honey hot sauce


Snickers Terrine (The Partisan)
peanut butter cheesecake, milk chocolate and peanut caramel, chocolate glaze

Fernet Ice Cream Float (The Partisan)
ginger beer, lime zest, fernet-branca ice cream, ginger-molasses cookies

My kind of menu.

Stand-outs at The Partisan were: its Tigelle, served as complimentary bread, its extensive Charcuterie, and its

Beef Fat Fries (The Partisan)
roasted garlic, rosemary, ranch aioli

which Matt could not stop eating.



Red Tree Ant Egg Laab Salad (Thip Khao)

"I call it Laos caviar," says chef Seng Luangrath. A commonly eaten protein in the Southeast Asian country and neighboring Thailand, the ova are hand-harvested from nests often built on the leaves of mango trees. Texturally, the eggs are like caviar, but splooshier. [source]

I couldn't discern the ant eggs. This salad was just sour.

Duck Laab (Thip Khao)
duck, minced salad, toasted rice, garlic, scallion, cilantro, mint
—The stand-out dish of our meal.


Avocado Sticky Rice (Thip Khao)

For dessert!


MarionBerry Ice Cream (Ice Cream Jubilee)
ripe marionberries from oregon blended with sweet cream ice cream and graham cracker crumbs
—Heh.

Passionfruit Guava Sorbet (Ice Cream Jubilee)
passionfruit and guava mingle with a touch of orange and hibiscus

Scrumptious ice cream. Beside the till was a container of crushed sugar cone that you could sprinkle on your ice cream gratis.


Maketto is a retail store, coffee shop, and Asian restaurant in one from the owner and chef of Toki Underground.

Restaurant stand-outs:
Taiwanese Fried Chicken (Maketto)
Scallion Pancake (Maketto)


Et Cetera

Kingston Sandwich (Sundevich)
jerk chicken, pineapple salsa, greens, spicy slaw, garlic mayo


Khachapuri (Compass Rose)
cheese-filled bread, organic egg, local butter

The egg and butter are mixed with the cheese at your table.


Missed Connections


"Chicken and Waffles" (Daikaya)
chicken kara-age, red bean taiyaki, wasabi butter, maple syrup


Ice Cream Luge (Pop's SeaBar)
mint chocolate chip ice cream sandwich, amaro

The ice cream sandwich is a luge for liqueur.

Face Bacon (The Pig)
jowl, smoked, slow roasted, maple

Fried Duck Heads (Thip Khao)

#eatersdigest


Now off to the other Washington.

I am extremely bummed that SMASH PUTT! closed.

Pancake Breakfast

Front-loading washers terrify me during spin cycles. They sound like they're out of control.

C-I-R-G-I-N seems like how a white female pop star or a Psychopathic Records artist might spell "surgeon," but I've never seen it spelled that way.

"iHeartRadio" is the cool dad-iest of corporate names. If that's what Clear Channel chose to re-brand as, imagine the names that were rejected.

related: TGI Fridays' Appley Madison campaign

My cousin Wayne lives in Taiwan. Whenever we see each other, the first thing he does is feel my stomach to gauge how fat I am.

Spanish weeks in my disco casino

Jon: Is it "coffee in the morning" or "fucking in the morning"?
Rory: Both. Miguel recorded two versions of the song.
Jon: Which one is canon, though? Is "coffee" a clean edit for "fucking"?

Fucking in the morning
I don't wanna wake you
I just wanna watch you sleep
It's the smell of your hair

Jon: The "fucking" version is kinda creepy.

Idea: A history of clean edits for "fuck."

Radiohead – "Creep" (1992)
You're so fucking special » You're so very special

Jay-Z – "Can I Get A…" (1998)
Can I get a "fuck you" » Can I get a "what what"

Nine Inch Nails – "Starfuckers, Inc." (2000)
Starfuckers Incorporated » Starsuckers Incorporated

Cee Lo – "Fuck You" (2010)
Fuck you and fuck her too » Forget you and forget her too

Tove Lo – "Talking Body" (2015)
If you love me right, we fuck for life » If you love me right, we love for life


Which is more disappointing: When an eatery only serves Pepsi products, or when an eatery only serves Boylan products?

Do hipster restaurants in Mexico only serve American Coca-Cola?


Ray's and Stark Bar in Los Angeles has a water menu.

Martin Riese, Water Sommelier, has curated a water selection that demonstrates the difference in taste between twenty-one different waters sourced from various regions of the world. Terroir affects water just like wine. Let us take you on a global journey of water.

There is a brand of water called "Beverly Hills 90H20."