is gonna build a mountain
"What is the purpose of your visit?"
"Uhh… To see the third Trailer Park Boys film at a cinema?"
I used to think a WWE work schedule was glamorous – you know, being in a different city every night – but now, just looking at that map exhausts me.
At least I get to spend time in my two favourite cities in the world.
Vancouver: April 15-19
Seattle: April 19-23
Chicago: April 23-24
Louisville: April 24-26
New York City: April 26-May 2?
Marijuana industry ads dot tumblr dot com.
15. Paul Heyman addresses the end of The Undertaker's streak (WWE Raw, 04-07-14)
"The best promo in the history of Raw."
"The greatest promo of all time."
Honourable Mention
Stray Observations
(Game of Thrones, S04E01)
OMGWTFDVD?
Idea: A disaster wipes out 99% of humanity on Earth, and all the male survivors are gingers.
Live Thog: Brick Mansions Trailer
This is similar to Banlieue 13. Did Luc Besson remake his own film?
Yes, yes he did – and with David Belle reprising his role in Banlieue 13!
I know that Banlieue 13 is noted for its parkour, and that David Belle is the founder of parkour, but why would a French dude be living in Detroit's projects? Surely there are Arabs who are adept at parkour.
The director of 13 Tzameti also remade his own film in English.
for when I visit Adam Robot this summer
Rory: You want to open a dance studio?
Jon: I feel like it would be easy money. Low investment, high reward. All I need is a space, some mirrors, a handrail, and a teacher.
Rory: Heh. And demand for dance lessons.
Jon: That too, yes. But when business is slow, I can throw some mats on the floor and boom – instant karate studio!
Jon: Combination dance and karate studio. No, combination dance and yoga studio. I don't want to have to spend money on belts and cinder blocks in addition to mats.
Jon: You think someone who can teach both dance and karate exists?
This week thus far on late night television:
Tonight: The Lighter Side of… Retirement
Tomorrow: Here we go with another ridiculous MAD Fall-on
Tweets about Jeopardy! regularly appear in my timeline, and for a long time, I wondered why.
—What's up with all the Jeopardy! tweets? I can't remember the last time I watched.
Then I lived in New York City and realized that there is nothing good on television when Jeopardy! airs on the east coast. Jeopardy! is something decent to watch before primetime programming begins.
On the west coast, when Jeopardy! is on, so is primetime programming.
"I don't want a girlfriend," he said. "I'm totally happy and satisfied with my life right now. Check this out."
He reached under his bed and pulled out a long, glass bong. He held it out to me.
"Look what I did. I modified it," he said proudly.
I took it from him and looked closer. There was something stuffed into the mouthpiece.
"Is that a Fleshlight?" I asked.
"Yeah, I glued it in there. I hot glued it."
"So you smoke weed through a bong that has a fake vaginal opening at the end? You put your mouth on the vagina and take bong rips?"
"Yeah, totally. The smoke can still squeeze through it. I also have sex with it a lot."
I quickly handed the monstrosity back to him.
"Like I said, I don't want a girlfriend. I have everything I need right here," he said. He looked lovingly at the bong and kissed the fleshy mound before carefully sliding it back under his bed.
I left shortly after that. I had a really bad stomach ache.
As I drove home, I realized that I hadn't thought to inspect the bong more thoroughly to see what liquid was in the bottom of it. I was thankful that I hadn't. [source]
14. The Best Part Is Going Home (Portlandia, S04E06)
GVOY.
Honourable Mention
Stray Observations
(Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule, S03E06)
ICE LAKE REBELS
It's a lawless frozen lake of ultra-libertarians forced together during brutal winters in Northwest Canada.
I've been listening to disc one of Michael Jackson's HIStory a lot while driving.
Some thoughts:
1. "Billie Jean"
Idea: "Billie Jean '14."
@Billie_Jean is not my lover
She's just a guy who claims that I am the one
But the pic is not my junk
People always told me be careful of what you do
Don't go around sharing private parts
I fancy myself as a millennial Frank Jacobs.
3. "Black Or White"
How does anyone not fast forward through the minute-long bootleg Macaulay Culkin/George Wendt prologue?
How did George Wendt get that role? Was John Candy unavailable?
John Candy's death is one of the few celebrity deaths to jar me. John Candy, Phil Hartman, Chris Benoit. I remember where I was when I learned that John Candy died — renting The Bodyguard on laserdisc.
I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU, JOHN CANDY.
This song features both a bridge and a rapper guest spot. Normally, in a pop song, isn't a rapper guest spot also the bridge?
I wonder what the first pop song to feature a rapper was.
6. "Bad"
Your butt is mine – Best opening lyric ever?
Imagine a 66-year-old Michael Jackson singing Your butt is mine at Coachella.
Michael doesn't provide any examples of how bad he is. The lyrics are empty posturing. This song is all Quincy. Dat rhythm guitar!
Michael on The Dirty Dozens: "Your mama's so bad, she's really really bad."
Ain't nothing bad about an organ solo.
We can change the world tomorrow
This could be a better place
If you don't like what I'm saying
Then won't you slap my face
Who would disagree that the world could be a better place?
Michael speaks softly; "Bad" is his big stick.
10. "Beat It"
"Beat It" is odd, a song about being a dove presented in a hawkish manner. Michael sings with such urgency about pacifism.
5. "She's Out Of My Life"
7. "I Just Can't Stop Loving You"
11. "The Girl Is Mine"
I don't care for Michael's… "Ballads" is the wrong word. Softer songs? His softer songs are snoozefests to me.
12. "Remember The Time"
Michael's riffing over the chorus in the final third of this song is sublime. So raw and soulful.
13. "Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough"
Michael's voice is kinda unrecognisable here.
Now I want to listen to "Canned Heat" by Jamiroquai.
15. "Heal The World"
Why did Michael leave "Smooth Criminal" off HIStory?
Bonus disc two thoughts:
2. "They Don't Care About Us"
The instrumental is straight fire.
Idea: A mash-up of "They Don't Care About Us" and "Black Skinhead."