Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

on

29. Jon Voight: Twerking Enthusiast (Ray Donovan, S01E03)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • "I have the confidence of a tall man." (The Newsroom, S02E01)
  • RT: Did that lady go through the trouble of making a full three-bean salad just to dump it on Lyle Lovett's desk? That shit is hardbody. (The Bridge, S01E02)
  • "A.C.R.O.N.Y.M.: A Criminal Regiment of Nasty Young Men." (Futurama, S07E19)
  • "[My biography] has to sing off the page. I'm talking Rikki-Tikki-Tavi, or early George."
    "George?"
    "Curious? Later George just wallows in its own density."
    "Something like The Berenstain Bears Visit the Dentist?"
    "Visit the Dentist is beach reading. Sure, I'm along for the ride, but is it transcendent in any way? Besides, it's totally derivative of Aardvark." (Wilfred, S03E06)
  • "This is like the Valentine's Day of emoji movies." (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S02E02)

#clipoftheweek

Wayne Newton or 311

on

Every time I see Hank Azaria as Gargamel in ads for The Smurfs 2, I die a little inside. See also: Jennifer Aniston's striptease in ads for We're the Millers.


His chola brows are so distracting.

Kenny is played by an English actor, so not only are American actors not manly enough anymore, they're not unmanly enough either.

Variety recently taped an Emmy Studio Lead Actor Drama panel, and only one of the five panelists was American. I was surprised to learn that the lead on Rectify is Australian. Fooled me…

It's Levels

on

Man, you follow one UCLA baseball player, and Twitter begins prodding you to follow his teammates, and then alumni, which leads you to…

Why doesn't Major League Baseball adopt the pitch tracking technology that its television partners use and standardize strike zones? The home plate umpire could still arbitrate a checked swing, or safe/out at home.

Rory: Home plate Vanna White after Wheel of Fortune digitized its board.

Instead of a Home Run Derby, Idea: Find a golf course near the All-Star Game venue. Pair eight power hitters with eight golf stars. The hitters slug baseballs down fairways and then the golfers complete the holes, replacing baseballs, wherever they lie, with golf balls.

Or should they putt and chip baseballs into larger cups?

But guys, where is the banana hot dog?

on

Previously on Adam Riff™:

10-28-05
A long time ago, while perusing IMDb, I stumbled upon a film called 5-25-77, the release date for Star Wars classic. The film's website offered little information, but the production company granted my request for a copy of the script. This is Almost Fanboy, I thought.

2-14-07
Films about Star Wars that I want to see:
• 5-25-77 [May 25, 2007]

6-17-08
• 5-25-77 prepped for a Toronto debut

[browsing 2013 Fantasia film festival selections]

Oh! 5-25-77. Is it another work-in-progress screening? I don't see anything…

Whoa.

After NINE some years in production, it appears a final cut exists.


trailer

[checks flights to Montreal]

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

on


28. Grand Fin-ale (Sharknado, 07-11-13)

Honourable Mention

  • Waiting for the bomb to go off (The Bridge, S01E01)
  • Reggie's Tron skit (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S02E01)

Stray Observations

  • "Shame is like having a daughter with red hair and freckles – you cannot let it become part of your life." (Wilfred, S03E05)
  • "I'll suck your dick to suck your toes…" (Wilfred, S03E05)
  • "So what did you do over the break?"
    "Oh, you know, I lost five pounds."
    "Oh my God, that's great."
    "No, it wasn't. It was in an English casino." (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S02E01)

#clipoftheweek

Super solo dolo attack, run and tell that

on

To do:

King Noodle
Gonzo noodle shop in Bushwick. The specialties are "kimchee carbonara" (with Doritos for $1 extra) and tiki drinks.

Cultish Italian Gelato Import L'Albero Dei Gelati Is Coming to Park Slope
Back home, Trezza has won all sorts of awards for flavors like smoked salmon, salty cabbage with apple vinegar and mustard, and mushroom risotto.

Shalom Japan
A restaurant serving "authentically inauthentic Jewish and Japanese food" in South Williamsburg – lamb ribs, chickpea tofu, matzo ball ramen.

Minnesota State Fair | 2013 New Food

Put a price on my head, won't make me run

on

R.I.P. my six-year-old MacBook Pro. Apple refused to repair it because it is "vintage."

[pause]

By that logic, Ed Hardy = vintage clothing.

I saw a bloke on the street wearing this shirt:

Vintage Nets fan.

[browsing UCLA apparel]

Yeesh. These designs…

Vintage Adam Riff™:
During telecasts of collegiate athletic events, you will see ads, or "institutional spots," for each participating school. Idea: Institutional spots created by filmmaker alumni. I'm curious how Wes Anderson would sell Texas or how Judd Apatow would sell USC.

Similarly, colleges with design programs [cough] should commission some apparel designed by design students. Low risk, high reward.

Adam Robot owns a screen printing press and verbally committed to making me an Animal House "COLLEGE" shirt that reads "CORREGE" instead.

I'm not sure I could bring myself to wear it in public, though.

Pepe: Says the man who showed up to high school one day in blackface.
Jon: That was unintentional blackface!

Pepe: Says the man who spent the Halloween after September 11 looking like this.
Jon: Okay, that I can't defend. Vintage Jon?

Still spell America with the triple K

on

Starting in September, visitors to Universal Studios Florida will step into the "Cabin in the Woods."

Halloween Horror Nights creative director Mike Aiello describes the flow of the haunted house maze experience as a "chronological retelling of the film from beginning to relative end – minus the gods destroying the Earth." [source]

Alas, the elevator ride is static.