Michael Baywatch

on

I saw Lil Bub and Friendz on Saturday.

In one scene, at a Nyan Cat pop-up shop, Scumbag Steve shows up, and you learn that Nyan Cat and Scumbag Steve share a manager, whose clients also include Keyboard Cat, Success Kid, and Gingers Have Souls.

A meme manager? I want to see that documentary film.

"What do you do for a living?"
"Oh, I manage Internet memes."

It's a full-time gig, and he's been at it for over [three] years. He's also an A&R for Rebecca Black. [source]

I wonder if Peter Pan is resentful at all.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

on


16. Game of Chairs (Game of Thrones, S03E03)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • Family Double Dare (Bob's Burgers, S03E19)
  • "Belchers, meet your competition, the Changs."
    "Hey, everybody Chang sons tonight." (Bob's Burgers, S03E19)
  • "Double Dawson." (Bob's Burgers, S03E19)
  • Wolf bread (Game of Thrones, S03E03)
  • Podrick's job perks (Game of Thrones, S03E03)
  • "Remember that accident we had last time, with Whitney Houston?" (Loiter Squad, S02E06)
  • "There is no match for the tremendous intelligence of the body." (Top of the Lake, S01E07)
  • "There's no way a man who's into X-Men that much can stay away from the Internet that long." (Parks and Recreation, S05E19)
  • Alison's acting (Orphan Black, S01E04)

#clipoftheweek

Bobby Hundley

on

[pause]

The Haunting, The Possession, The Conjuring, The Apparition – I can't differentiate these single-noun-titled ghost story films.

Rory: Hardest Jeopardy! category ever.

"'Supernatural investigators come to the aid of an exorcism-needing family.' Jon."
"What is…uhhh…"

'The Haunting, The Possession, The Conjuring, The Apparition' is a game in itself.

"From the producer of The Grudge – The Haunting, The Possession, The Conjuring, or The Apparition?"

Jukebox Breakdown

on

"What would you say is the current holy grail of pop culture? A Mother 3 release outside of Japan? Mother 4?"

"Well, for video games, Half-Life 2: Episode Three. For all of pop culture? Hmm… A Dream of Spring? No, a Smiths reunion!"

"A Star Wars vs. Batman film."

"What? How would that work?"

"A time-and-space warp plus Spaceballs. Not long ago in our galaxy, the Galactic Empire invades Earth for its resources."


"Eh?"

"Warner Bros. owns Batman, and Disney owns Star Wars, and their properties have united before, in Who Framed Roger Rabbit?."

Television Show Idea: What if the demons in your closet were actual creatures in your closet? Picture a mix of Herman's Head, Pokémon, and The Incredible Hulk.

Action Sequence Idea: Escape from a moving subway train inside a flooding underwater tunnel.

Idea: Earplug-sized and -shaped tampons for nosebleeds – like absorbent Invisalign.

Be Quiet and Drive (Far Away)

on


$26.99

When I learned of the Boston Marathon bombing, I immediately thought of the opening of Die Hard with a Vengeance.

Then I imagined myself shooting the culprit á la Jack Ruby, blowing police away telekinetically as they're about to apprehend me, and revealing myself to be God.

And then I thought, Film Idea: A retired badass pulled back into action, only the retired badass is a disgruntled Jesus Christ.

"I was crucified for these shitheads?"

Jesus begrudgingly returns to Earth, dies while saving it, and then life goes on as before. Christians have their beliefs both affirmed and repudiated.

The Dirties follows two high school cinephiles as they make a movie about killing all the bullies who harass them.

It was shot without a script in a documentary style with two cameras constantly filming. Many background characters were participants unaware that a film was being made, who therefore act quite naturally.

It won the Grand Jury Prize for "Best Narrative Feature" at Slamdance this year, and will next screen on Wednesday in Royal Oak, MI, and on April 27 at the Independent Film Festival Boston.

Also screening at IFF Boston, this short:

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

on


15. The Claw of Shame (Nathan For You, S01E07)

If I could, I would share the whole episode. It's a candidate for Adam Riff™ Television Episode of the Year, along with "White Bear" (Black Mirror, S02E02).

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • "It's a shame the throne isn't made out of cock. They'd have never got him off it." (Game of Thrones, S03E02)
  • Joffrey's bow (Game of Thrones, S03E02)
  • "Beat my ex-wife to death with a telephone."
    "Cordless or a landline?"
    "Sidekick." (Shameless, S03E12)
  • The writers just dropped Sheila's agoraphobia (Shameless, S03E12)
  • Betty's pillow talk (Mad Men, S05E01)
  • "Heaven's a little morbid. How do you get to Heaven? Something terrible has to happen." (Mad Men, S05E01)
  • All the episodes this season are titled after black films (Loiter Squad, S02E05)
  • RT: Joe's working on an _actual_ novel? You mean it's not just a heavy-handed metaphor? What the fuck? (The Following, S01E12)
  • "I thought you were Jane Lynch." (New Girl, S02E22)
  • Alfredo (New Girl, S02E22)
  • "Three more weeks of winter." (New Girl, S02E22)
  • "Hello, Jew." (New Girl, S02E22)


Also: Pork sung donuts! (Top Chef Canada, S03E04)

  • Guest judge Trish Stratus (Top Chef Canada, S03E04)
  • "I always knew I was an Electra. Ryan Electra." (Suburgatory, S02E20)
  • Gordon Gartrell shirt – Cosby Show reference (Suburgatory, S02E20)
  • Dog Cat Mouse (The Office, S09E19)
  • Carl Channing (Archer, S04E13)


(Archer, S04E13)

  • "Weakest swimmer." (Archer, S04E13)
  • "You can lie, but your boner can't." (Archer, S04E13)
  • "Killing must feel good to God too. He does it all the time. And are we not created in his image?" (Hannibal, S01E02)
  • "To make matters worse, I found out that the robot whose precision would determine my fate ran on Windows 95." (Nathan For You, S01E07)
  • "Oh no, we are seeing pubic hair." (Nathan For You, S01E07)
  • "The united nations of farts." (Happy Endings, S03E18)
  • "Early spring in Chicago is really just winter." (Happy Endings, S03E18)


(Spartacus, S03E10)

#clipoftheweek

Young Adult

on

At the gym, when a treadmill asks me for my age, it feels odd entering "3-0."

Physically, I feel 30 — I use a standing desk, and for some reason, my hands go numb when I shower nowadays — but otherwise, it's like I'm pretending to be 30.

I work in Manhattan, but sleep every night on a couch in someone's living room.

At bars, I humour people with alcoholic beverages, but would rather be drinking pop or fruit juice.

I get by. I'm generally content. And yet, I feel like I'm doing it — life — wrong. I'm not building anything. I'm just…stumbling through.

I'm probably fucked in the future, but, as I'm not sure what the point of life is, if I die tragically, so be it. [shrugs]

"Here lies Jon Yu. He was alive at one time."

I had a dream that I was a vandal

on

Previously on Adam Riff™:


2005


2009


2013

Never change, Japan.

How are cage-free eggs better? Just because a hen isn't caged doesn't mean that it isn't being fed the same shit as a caged hen, or managed similarly. And an uncaged hen still exists to serve humans – it's still our slave. Buying cage-free eggs is like paying a hooker instead of raping one.

"Oh you only buy cage-free eggs? Well, I'm not racist because I have a black friend."