I had it all and now I have everything else

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Dear busker who is setting up shop below my windows:

I appreciate that you switched from an electric guitar to an acoustic one, but can you please learn some more songs? Your seeming loop of "Someday" by The Strokes is excruciating.

Also, if you need money, why don't you pawn your guitars?

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

on

Today is the fourth anniversary of The Agony of Defeat, Adam Riff™'s sports Tumblr. Four more years?


14. Oh no they didn't (WWE Raw, 04-01-13)

Paul Bearer's real son: If anyone is wondering, yes WWE did come to us wanting approval for tonight's storyline. The way it was presented to us was ok. Seeing it on screen was a different story. I don't even know what to say.

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • Carl's baseball bat silencer (The Walking Dead, S03E16)
  • RT: Carl: "Dad, I'm turning into a cold-blooded killer." Rick: "Pssh, whatevs." (The Walking Dead, S03E16)
  • RT: What's her name who hid under the body… That was a stupid strategy. (The Walking Dead, S03E16)
  • Good riddance to Andrea (The Walking Dead, S03E16)
  • RT: Why would they choose the prison over Woodbury? (The Walking Dead, S03E16)
  • "My master points out that men don't need nipples." (Game of Thrones, S03E01)
  • "Well, I'm sorry I tried to kill you – according to you, anyway." (Bates Motel, S01E03)
  • "You think this beard makes me Santa? I'm an elf." (Justified, S04E13)


(Justified, S04E13)

  • "Higher up the mountain, worse the footing gets." (Justified, S04E13)
  • "Natural One" – from the Kids soundtrack to (Suburgatory, S02E19)
  • "I do like the idea of popcorn kernels in the pancake batter so they self-flip." (Modern Family, S04E19)
  • "Shoot yourself into me, Clark!" (The Americans, S01E09)
  • "The Revolutionary War: America won." (The Americans, S01E09)
  • "You do realize that if you call it a Sophie B. Hawkins dance, people will expect Sophie B. Hawkins to actually be there, right?"
    "[laughs] Yes. And when she comes, I'm gonna be like, I will remember you doubting me."
    "That's a Sarah McLachlan song." (Community, S04E08)
  • "That's guy's like Teflon. No matter how much awful stuff he does, he keeps getting another chance."
    "Yeah, he's like the Colin Farrell of people." (Community, S04E08)
  • "There's only one thing I hate more than lying – skim milk, which is water that's lying about being milk." (Parks and Recreation, S05E17)
  • "Nice to meet you. Eat fresh." (The Office, S09E18)
  • "It is super emotional, like in Toy Story." (The Office, S09E18)
  • "If so, food." (New Girl, S02E21)
  • Pam's allergy face (Archer, S04E12)


(Hannibal, S01E01)

  • Fuller: I've been wanting to do the [Shining] bathroom [set] forever. I tried to do it several times on Pushing Daisies but we always had budget restrictions and I wanted it to be exactly like that bathroom. Every show I've done I wanted to build a bathroom that looked like that space. (Hannibal, S01E01)
  • "I am Sean Connery. I want massage." (Nathan For You, S01E06)
  • "You look like an assistant manager at a Jacksonville multiplex." (Happy Endings, S03E16)
  • "Damn you, you Kevin Smith smell-alike!" (Happy Endings, S03E16)
  • One-armed man – Fugitive reference (Happy Endings, S03E17)
  • Green Man suits (Shark Tank, S04E21)

#clipoftheweek

Somber thoughts of burning planets

on

I had to fly all the way to Detroit to get kidnapped. Extreme Kidnapping is a company operated by Adam Thick, an entrepreneur and convicted counterfeiter from Oakland County, Michigan. Thick founded Extreme Kidnapping in 2002 after being inspired by the old David Fincher movie The Game. For $500, Adam and his crew will abduct you at gunpoint and hold you hostage for four hours. A thousand bucks gets you ten hours, along with a bit of customized sadism.

I was offered a torture menu, from which I made my selections with little rhyme or reason.

Waterboarding? Stress positions? Stun gun? Fire?
I've never been waterboarded, but it sounds horrible. I guess we could maybe explore it. I dunno about a stun gun. Probably not.

Beaten with a trout? Battered with a summer sausage? I'm not kidding.
Oh sure. Can I eat the summer sausage when you're done?

Piranha?
HOLY SHIT.

Reality Show Idea: Extreme Fun – kidnapping, tank driving adventure…

Reality Show Idea: Party Down – 10 fraternities/sororities at one university compete to see who throws the best parties. Each week, a different party challenge.

The Great North Korean Picture Show
For the first time, foreign cameras are allowed into the world's most secretive state's only film school. Filmmakers James Leong and Lynn Lee follow two young actors and a director, handpicked by the regime to become stars, as they hone their craft.

Hot Docs in Toronto will host its North American Premiere in May.

Idea A documentary series exploring combinations of race.

For example, a white + yellow episode might feature:

  1. A half-white, half-Asian person
  2. Asian people adopted by white families and raised in the American midwest and Scandinavia
  3. An Asian male dating a white girl
  4. A white person born and raised in Asia

WrestleMania 29 Set

on

Yes, that's the Statue of Liberty. And yes, that's the Empire State Building. It's very important to WWE that everyone knows their New Jersey WrestleMania is taking place in New York City. [source]

The show should open with a play on The Sopranos' opening credits in which Vince McMahon drives to MetLife Stadium.

Eater's Digest: New York City 3

on

Previously on Adam Riff™:

Alright, I have notes dating back to December that I need to unload.

But first: gold stars!

Chocolate Babka (Breads Bakery)

Chocolate Yumball (Three Tarts)
almond and chocolate cake mixed with dulce de leche and amaretto, then rolled in dark chocolate and chopped nuts

Dark Chocolate Chocolate Chip Cookie (Levain Bakery)

Doug's Pecan Pie Sundae (Buttermilk Channel)

Jambalaya (Juniper)

Lamb Dumplings (Xi'an Famous Foods)


Rainbow Cookie Cupcake (Brooklyn Cupcake)

Turkey Mac (S'MAC)
juicy turkey, macaroni, and swiss cheese topped with herbed stuffing and served with a side of homemade gravy and cranberry jelly


Peanut Butter BBQ Ribs (Hudson Common)
boneless riblets, peanut butter texas toast, salt and vinegar potato chips


Bloody Mary Bacon Thrice-Cooked Fries (Hudson Common)
pickled okra, jalapeno, cheese curds, fried egg

French Toast Grilled Cheese (Hudson Common)
seven cheese blend, maple drizzle

Disappointing curiosities. The ribs were an open-faced McRib, and the fries were poutine sans gravy – an astringent poutine.

Brats and Beer Mac (Elbow Room)
esposito's sausage, bronx brewery ale, and caramelized onion

I wanted to try their Poutine Mac (short rib gravy, yukon french fries, and fresh cheese curds), but it wasn't available, so…Brats and Beer.

S'MAC's macs are better, in my opinion.

Deli Ramen (Dassara)
chicken broth served with diced celery, matzo balls, and mile end smoked meat

A niggardly bowl of ramen. I received like three slivers of Mile End's delicious smoked meat and [cough] insufficient noodles.

Tim Tam Tiramisu (The Thirsty Koala)

Instead of ladyfingers, this tiramisu uses Tim Tams, "Australia's favourite cookie."

Too much of my "Triple T" was cream for my liking, like 66%. To quote Oreo's Super Bowl ad: "The cookie's the best part."

I also would not have layered in caramel Tim Tams. Chewy tiramisu?

Soda Bread Cupcake (Robicelli's)
soda bread cake, clotted cream buttercream, drambuie-soaked golden raisins

Car Bomb Cupcake (Robicelli's)
chocolate guinness stout cake, jameson whiskey ganache, bailey's buttercream

Irish Coffee Cupcake (Robicelli's)
bailey's espresso cake and buttercream, crushed chocolate espresso beans

Brooklyn Brown Ale Cupcake (Robicelli's)
brooklyn brewery brown ale cake, ale and toffee buttercream, crushed chocolate espresso beans

A St. Patrick's Day-themed cupcake quartet. Alas, they didn't taste like anything. Flavours were muddled.

Rye Brownie Sundae (Runner and Stone)
rye whiskey ice cream, caramel sauce, caraway walnut sablage

Irish Whiskey Cake (Black Hound New York)
chocolate cake, irish whiskey buttercream, a hint of ground hazelnuts, bittersweet chocolate ganache, and almond marzipan shamrock

[Irish Whisky + Chocolate + Mint] Pie (Four and Twenty Blackbirds)

New York City pastry chefs do NOT skimp on whiskey.


The Beer Muncheez (Ample Hills Creamery)
sweet cream ice cream with apple lambic beer and cheddar cheese munchies [pretzels, chips, and puffs]

Its description did not compute in my head, but then I tasted it and realized, "Apples and cheddar. Of course." The apple beer ice cream was pleasantly refreshing.


Spam Fries (Maharlika)
beer-battered fresh-from-the-can spam, banana ketchup

I had to psych myself up to eat them, but ate them all. Just don't think about what you're eating.


Filipino Pride Chicken 'N' Ube Waffle (Maharlika)
flourless filipino-style fried chicken, ube purple yam waffle with anchovy bagoong butter and carmelized macapuno syrup

A more faithful variation than (Sweet Chick)'s General Tso's Chicken and Waffles, with waffles made of rice and broccoli.

#eatersdigest

Burgh Island in sepia tones

on

Previously on Adam Riff™:
By my count, [Dick] Vitale clasps his hands 59 times. It's like he's playing a light gun shooter where you clasp your hands to reload. What a strange default position.

Exhibit B:

I cropped the original video and stripped its audio so you can focus on his bizarre boomerang hands.

Idea: A series of vignettes imagining the events behind Yahoo! Answers questions. Or a podcast – How Did This Get Asked?

Sooooo a Chicago-style pan pizza?

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

on


13. Young Nigga – "She Won't a Young Nigga" (Loiter Squad, S02E03)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • "You saved us, Gene. I owe you my life."
    "No thanks. I've seen it, and I'm not impressed." (Bob's Burgers, S03E18)
  • "Let people chow down on the nether region of their choice." (Shameless, S03E10)
  • "I found the cure to comas!" (Shameless, S03E10)
  • A gay zombie romance?! (In the Flesh, S01E02)


(New Girl, S02E20)

  • "You know, this is every day in North Korea." (New Girl, S02E20)
  • "She ain't no Julia Roberts."
    "You know, I never cared for her much anyway. Looked too much like Eric." (Justified, S04E12)
  • "So we are literally searching every outhouse, doghouse, henhouse…" – The Fugitive reference (Justified, S04E12)
  • "You involved in this shooting?"
    "Nope." (Justified, S04E12)
  • Lucy, Daughter of the Devil reference (Archer, S04E11)
  • "Who am I? Cypher? The gayest X-Man?"
    "I don't know. Gambit looks like he knows his way around a pair of…" (Archer, S04E11)
  • "Here's Junky Brewster." (Archer, S04E11)
  • "Luther had some valid complaints." (Archer, S04E11)
  • "Well, sorry I don't have your language nerd skils,…hang on…Pambit!"
    "Wrong X-Man, dumbass!" (Archer, S04E11)
  • "I texted him to see if he wanted to go see that new gay Four Tops cover band, The Four Tops." (Happy Endings, S03E14)
  • Requiem for a Dream reference (Happy Endings, S03E14)
  • Adam Pally's hair is mutating like Seth Rogen's hair on Freaks and Geeks (Happy Endings, S03E14)
  • "I am just glad that the gay guy that Sean Penn played in Milk is not around to hear this."
    "You mean Harvey Milk?"
    "I saw Yes Man instead." (Happy Endings, S03E15)

#clipoftheweek

Looking ahead: