The poor, the mentally ill, and the French

on

1. Avatar
$2,923,706,026

2. Avengers: Endgame
$2,799,439,100

3. Titanic
$2,194,690,964

4. Avatar: The Way of Water
$2,117,086,137

5. Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens
$2,071,310,218

6. Avengers: Infinity War
$2,052,415,039

As of this writing, Zoe Saldana features in 4 of the 6 highest-grossing films of all time worldwide.

With Avatar 3-5 and Avengers 5-6 confirmed, it's conceivable that Zoe Saldana will feature in 9 of the 10 highest-grossing films of all time worldwide.

Need an Infinity War re-release to push it above The Force Awakens, though.

In America, Avatar is only the fourth highest-grossing film of all time.

1. Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens
$936,662,225

2. Avengers: Endgame
$858,373,000

3. Spider-Man: No Way Home
$814,115,070

4. Avatar
$785,221,649

5. Top Gun: Maverick
$718,732,821

6. Black Panther
$700,426,566

That Force Awakens domestic gross is absurd.

Whereas international box office composes 70+% of total gross for James Cameron's films, almost half of The Force Awakens' total gross was Americans.

We were fiending.

In America, The Force Awakens even outgrossed the highest-grossing Chinese film of all time in China [The Battle of Lake Changjin – $913 million USD]. And that's with one-fourth the population!

Fixes on fixes.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

on

5. Vigilantes (Extraordinary, S01E03)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • "There is a lot of people that would say that a woman has a right to do with her body what she likes."
    "I get it."
    "So we have to be careful."
    "Be careful. Don't disparage hookers." (Paul T. Goldman, S01E06)
  • </Paul T. Goldman, S01>
  • [banging on door]
    "We ain't voting." (Poker Face, S01E01)
  • "I've been rich."
    "Yeah, how was it?"
    "Easier than being broke, harder than doing just fine." (Poker Face, S01E01)
  • "God. It is crazy the things that people stick up their asses."
    "Yeah. What are you reading?"
    "'10 craziest things people have stuck up their asses.'" (Poker Face, S01E01)
  • "She's a regular little Michael Westen." (Poker Face, S01E01)
  • "Tomorrow morning, you come by 8:00 a.m., put a bunch of cash in my hands, 20 minutes later, I'll have you on the road."
    "Dude, 20 minutes. Can't you just, uh…"
    "Well, you know, it's Top Chef tonight. Sorry." (Poker Face, S01E02)
  • "Yo! Employees only. Come on. That's like Subway sanctum sanctorum." (Poker Face, S01E02)
  • "MAGA dog. Perfect." (Poker Face, S01E03)
  • Okja twist (Poker Face, S01E03)
  • John Darnielle (Poker Face, S01E04)
  • "Geez, where'd you get this kid?"
    "Juilliard."
    "Really?"
    "Fucking Craigslist. Where do you think?"
    […]
    "Self-taught, huh?"
    "No, Juilliard." (Poker Face, S01E04)
  • John Darnielle tapped Jamey Jasta of Hatebreed for help crafting "Staple Head" (Poker Face, S01E04)
  • "And where are we gonna find a recording studio in Kenosha, Wisconsin 'right fucking now'?"
    [Kenosha Ko-Work] (Poker Face, S01E04)
  • "You ripped off the theme song to Benson and didn't think nobody would notice?" (Poker Face, S01E04)
  • You Must Remember This easter egg (Poker Face, S01E04)
  • "You know, Virginia Woolf tried to drown herself too." (Shrinking, S01E01)
  • ♫: Wolfmother – "Remove Your Mask" (Extraordinary, S01E01)
  • "My tits turn cats into men." (Extraordinary, S01E02)
  • "Yeah, and I went somewhere every day, so I must've had a— It's, like, sadness but money?"
    "A job?"
    "Yeah." (Extraordinary, S01E02)
  • "You can't imply a customer is pegging their husband as Margaret Thatcher." (Extraordinary, S01E03)
  • ♫: Fidlar – "By Myself" (Extraordinary, S01E03)
  • ♫: Headless Heroes – "True Love Will Find You in the End" (Extraordinary, S01E03)
  • "What are you doing in here?"
    "I was having a really quiet poo." (Extraordinary, S01E05)
  • "An insurance broker in the Netherlands owns the copyright on my arse." (Extraordinary, S01E06)
  • "I am his next of kin. Yeah. I-I am his aunt."
    "Oh. The aunt that collects Bigfoot erotica?"
    "Um…"
    "Or the aunt that thinks Israel did 9/11?"
    "[sighs] It's gonna have to be the first one, isn't it?" (Extraordinary, S01E07)


(Extraordinary, S01E07)

  • ♫: Love – "Everybody's Gotta Live" (Extraordinary, S01E08)
  • </Extraordinary, S01>

My Year of Dicks

on

RackaRacka, the twin enfants terribles behind one of my favourite YouTube videos ever —

"Our Epic Childhood" (exhumed for posterity)

— just sold their Sundance-selected feature directorial debut to A24.

[Talk to Me] asks: What if Flatliners was rendered as a Monkey's Paw for the teenage audiences that fuel today's viral videos?

Beyond the Infinite Two Minutes
A cafe owner discovers that the TV in his cafe suddenly shows images from the future, but only two minutes into the future.

Microwave
After a time-rift offers a glimpse exactly one minute into the future, four college-bound kids try to salvage their failing friendship as their perception of free will begins to fall apart.

Saturday Night Live: Robin Williams/Adam Ant (1984)
Nighttime talk show Patty's Place welcomes a woman who lives 30 seconds ahead in the future and a man who lives 30 seconds behind in the past.

Dead Poets Society
Live in the present.


Star Search

2 Blunts 9 Sluts

on

Cuban Americans and Kevin Sorbo – hatchet job or hagiography?

"After creating the biopic about Walt Disney, I felt compelled to continue creating movies about entrepreneurial stories that inspire and inform. Jeff Bezos is the richest man globally, so naturally, people are drawn to knowing the nitty-gritty behind his success." [source]

Hagiography!

Jeff Bezos is played by Armando Gutierrez, the well-known producer and star of the hit movies The Little Mermaid and Anastasia.

Marcus Lemonis of the CNBC series The Profit plays David Shaw, the boss of Jeff Bezos before he quit his job to launch Amazon.

Jeff Bezos' conflicted first employee, Shel Kaphan, is played by Nick Friedman, co-founder of College HUNKS Hauling Junk.

Other notable actors appearing in the movie include: Emilio Estefan (husband of Gloria Estefan) as Bezos' dad, Kevin Sorbo as Bezos antagonist/CEO of Barnes and Noble Leonard Reggio, Eliana Ghen (7M followers on TikTok), and UFC champion Jorge Masvidal.

The film is based on the book Zero to Hero by Tashena Ebanks.

Croqueta Nation follows Carlos Gazitua, owner of Sergio's Cuban Restaurants, as he sets out to make the world's longest croqueta.

Joining in on the fun is super producer Emilio Estefan, WWE champion Dana Brooks, iHeartRadio host Enrique Santos, and even the mayor of Miami. [source]

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

on

4. Ryan Sinclair (Paul T. Goldman, S01E05)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • "Quick question: Aren't mail-order brides a form of sex trafficking?" (Paul T. Goldman, S01E05)
  • "I was thinkin' we'd make some cookies."
    "Chocolate chip?"
    "Raisin." (The Last of Us, S01E01)
  • Gore/Lieberman shirt (The Last of Us, S01E01)
  • "I just took a few of the kids under my wing, and we sold out faster than a Black politician." (Abbott Elementary, S02E13)
  • "You got change?"
    "Some people might ask for change, but those people aren't Sam Cooke, so change is not gonna come." (Abbott Elementary, S02E13)
  • "No, it's just, if this doesn't end well, I don't want it to blow back on me."
    "Oh, okay. Well, I get that. I do. But I promise you won't have to worry about any back getting blown." (Abbott Elementary, S02E13)
  • "Do you like Janine?"
    "You're projecting."
    "No, if I was projecting, I would say, 'Do you love Janine?' Because I love Janine." (Abbott Elementary, S02E13)
  • "Remember, blood don't make you family; loyalty does." (BMF, S02E03)

Mash-22

on

Previously on Adam Riff™:

Adam Riff™'s 2022 retrospective festivities conclude with Benaissance, curated – and mixed – by our mate Ben:


cover art by our mate Jon Wilcox

  1. Benaissance DJ Benny C 1:02:06

• DOWNLOAD

Aaaand the unmixed version with seven bonus tracks at the end that Ben wanted to include but couldn't fit in:

[1 hr 51 min]

Previously on Adam Riff™:

Our favourite songs. One per year.

Update:

JON
1. Radiohead – "The National Anthem" [2000]
2. Finch – "What It Is to Burn (Demo)" [2001]
3. Spoon – "Stay Don't Go" [2002]
4. The Mars Volta – "Take the Veil Cerpin Taxt"
5. Ratatat – "Seventeen Years"
6. The Mountain Goats – "This Year"
7. DragonForce – "Through the Fire and Flames"
8. Frank Turner – "The Real Damage"
9. The Wonder Years – "You're Not Salinger. Get Over It."
10. So Many Dynamos – "New Bones"
11. Jamie Lidell – "Your Sweet Boom"
12. M83 – "Midnight City"
13. Jai Paul – "Jasmine (Demo)"
14. CHVRCHES – "The Mother We Share"
15. CFO$ – "Worlds Apart"
16. Oneohtrix Point Never – "No Good"
17. Kanye West – "Ultralight Beam"
18. GoldLink – "Crew (feat. Brent Faiyaz and Shy Glizzy)"
19. Panic! at the Disco – "High Hopes"
20. Labrinth – "Still Don't Know My Name"
21. Bartees Strange – "Boomer" [2020]
22. Bo Burnham – "That Funny Feeling" [2021]

23. Pharrell Williams – "Cash In Cash Out (feat. 21 Savage and Tyler, the Creator)" [2022]
Jon: In 2006, Kool Keith released The Return of Dr. Octagon, which abandoned his minor-key synth zooms and damaged piano-rolls for artificial electro and kitchen-sink eclecticism. It was a sonic departure that his fans may not have liked, but I loved. Similarly, I wish all 21 Savage and Tyler, the Creator songs sounded liked this.

[1 hr 39 min]

ADAM ROBOT
1. Snapcase – "Typecast Modulator" [2000]
2. Rival Schools – "Travel by Telephone" [2001]
3. City of Caterpillar – "And You're Wondering How a Top Floor Could Replace Heaven" [2002]
4. Every Time I Die – "Ebolarama"
5. Codeseven – "All the Best Dreams"
6. Comeback Kid – "Wake the Dead"
7. Jesu – "Silver"
8. Rob Crow – "Up"
9. Russian Circles – "Campaign"
10. Coalesce – "Wild Ox Moan"
11. Deftones – "Rocket Skates"
12. Touché Amoré – "Home Away From Here"
13. Torche – "Kicking"
14. Coliseum – "Fuzzbang"
15. Violent Soho – "Covered in Chrome"
16. Baroness – "Chlorine and Wine"
17. Joyce Manor – "Last You Heard of Me"
18. Charly Bliss – "Westermarck"
19. Daughters – "The Reason They Hate Me"
20. Angel Du$t – "Want It All"
21. Higher Power – "Seamless" [2020]
22. Turnstile – "Holiday" [2021]

23. PLOSIVS – "Hit the Breaks" [2022]
Adam Robot: It's kinetic and fast, simple and to the point. We could all heed its message: Take some time and hit the brakes.

I know it dropped as a single at the end of 2021, but the album it's on came out in 2022…

BEN
1. Outkast – "B.O.B." [2000]
2. Gob – "I Hear You Calling" [2001]
3. Justin Timberlake – "Cry Me a River" [2002]
4. The White Stripes – "Seven Nation Army"
5. Franz Ferdinand – "Take Me Out"
6. "Trapped in the Closet" Bloc Party – "This Modern Love"
7. TV on the Radio – "Wolf Like Me"
8. UGK – "Int'l Players Anthem (I Choose You) [feat. Outkast]"
9. MGMT – "Time to Pretend"
10. Passion Pit – "The Reeling"
11. LCD Soundsystem – "Dance Yrself Clean"
12. M83 – "Midnight City"
13. Bruno Mars – "Locked Out of Heaven"
14. Daft Punk – "Get Lucky (feat. Pharrell Williams)"
15. Duke Dumont – "I Got You (feat. Jax Jones)"
16. Major Lazer × DJ Snake – "Lean On (feat. MØ)"
17. G.L.O.S.S. – "Give Violence a Chance"
18. Kendrick Lamar – "DNA."
19. Cardi B, Bad Bunny, and J Balvin – "I Like It"
20. Lil Nas X – "Old Town Road – Remix (feat. Billy Ray Cyrus)"
21. Dua Lipa – "Physical" [2020]
22. AJR – "Way Less Sad" [2021]

23. Bad Bunny – "Tití Me Preguntó" [2022]
Ben: [Scene: A nightclub DJ booth, it's 10:10pm, the club has just opened. Three people enter, and each comes up to the DJ with their phone up, Notes app on screen. Camera pans between each phone.]

"Play Bad Bunny"
"bad bunny?"
"Can you play Bad Bunny?"

DJ-ing in 2022 became how many times you could play Bad Bunny's music in one night. Thank Dios that his most popular song was a banger.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

on

3. Dr. K (Paul T. Goldman, S01E04)

Honourable Mention

  • Cholo Dominik (WWE Raw, 09 Jan 23)
  • Bugs, maggots, and roaches raining repeatedly on Kate and Cirie (The Traitors, S01E08)

Stray Observations

  • "Dang, can you blink? Is this one of those stranger things? What's your favorite song, Gregory?!" (Abbott Elementary, S02E12)
  • "Your Hotmail account is very brave, Mr. Eddie." (Abbott Elementary, S02E12)
  • "Well, what about the collard greens I planted?"
    "That was spinach, which is not an easy mistake to make." (Abbott Elementary, S02E12)
  • "Gregory, why would you sow secretly? Why would you prune privately? Why would you cull clandestinely, hidden hoe-ing and whatnot?"
    "Are you done?"
    "Barbara, hit him one more time."
    "Why would you be tight-lipped about tilling?" (Abbott Elementary, S02E12)
  • "Look, my mom and sister used to fight all the time, and I would mediate. I was both the crisis negotiator and the hostage. I was Jack Bauer and Jack Bauer." (Abbott Elementary, S02E12)
  • "And if I pick up his back-up first, like a Black woman on The Voice, he has no chance of winning." (Abbott Elementary, S02E12)
  • "Do you two want to watch Toy Story tomorrow?"
    "Which one? I can't do 3 again." (Abbott Elementary, S02E12)
  • "You look like you're trying to mute a smile." (Abbott Elementary, S02E12)
  • "Hey! Hey! Relax. This is designer." (Abbott Elementary, S02E12)
  • "Shame to see my queens fight." (Abbott Elementary, S02E12)
  • "Mr. Eddie, I accidentally dropped my seed into my mouth and then I accidentally ate it. Am I going to have a lemon tree grow inside my belly?"
    "Well, let's think about it. Did you also swallow a wet paper towel?"
    "Yes."
    "Alright, let's go to the nurse." (Abbott Elementary, S02E12)
  • "♪ You've got a friend in me / You've got a friend in me / Just reme… ♪ I don't… I don't know the rest of the lyrics." (Abbott Elementary, S02E12)
  • </The Traitors, S01>
  • "She has no brain! I am not dissing her. She has no brain." (Velma, S01E01)
  • "I can't get banned for your thoughts on South Asian desserts again."
    "I know, it's okay. Like the dessert course at an Indian restaurant, just forget it." (Velma, S01E02)
  • "According to TV, it's morally okay to deal drսgs if your life is just kind of crappy. Like, your kid's sick, you're a widow with a mortgage, you have to live on a lake in Missouri." (Velma, S01E02)
  • "Oh, God, he looks like Hitler! And not just because we compare everyone to Hitler these days." (Velma, S01E02)
  • ♫: Unidentified song at 6:03 (BMF, S02E02)
  • "Mail Order Guns!!" (BMF, S02E02)

Cache-22

on

Previously on Adam Riff™:

Adam Riff™'s 2022 retrospective festivities conclude with a triptych of playlists.

First, Everything From the Year All at Once, my 19th year-end audio pastiche:


cover art by our mate Jon Wilcox

I finally ditched skits and custom tracks in order to share what I curated in its entirety outside of Adam Riff™ dot com. While a tad less sui generis, I think it still slaps.

[1 hr 50 min]