Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

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22. Malala on a horse (We Are Lady Parts, S02E02)

Stray Observations

  • "Nothing is more precious than independence and freedom." (The Sympathizer, S01E07)
  • </The Sympathizer, S01>
  • "I know it's seafood. I'm really hoping that Manny's just going to follow up to narrow that in."
    "Manny?"
    "Um, is it like a porridge?"
    "What the fuck?"
    "Nope."
    "No. Okay."
    "What? What? Why? When was the last time you ate a seafood porridge?" (Top Chef, S21E11)


(Top Chef, S21E11)

  • "I don't want to talk to vendors!" (Hacks, S03E09)
  • "You are not an assistant. You are a manager and a great one. So, please, stay here with me and be my partner."
    "Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I thought you were a man. They're gay."
    "What? I am a man."
    "But you said 'partner.'"
    "Leave us alone!" (Hacks, S03E09)
  • </Hacks, S03>
  • ♫: Melanie – "Look What They Did to My Song, Ma" (We Are Lady Parts, S02E01)
  • "Who drew this?"
    "Some hоrny Picasso."
    "Dude, it's a watercolor. It would be a hоrny Monet." (We Are Lady Parts, S02E03)
  • </We Are Lady Parts, S02>

No Step on Snek

on

Cameron Crovetti played Alexander Skarsgård's son on Big Little Lies and young Bill Skarsgård in Boy Kills World.

He also plays Homelander's son on The Boys and played young Ryan Gosling in The Gray Man.

Ariana Greenblatt played America Ferrara's daughter in Barbie and Gina Rodriguez's daughter in Awake.

She also played young Gamora in Avengers: Infinity War and young Ahsoka on Ahsoka.

Q: Which actor has the wildest résumé of young or child roles?

Jacob Tremblay played young Will Forte on The Last Man on Earth and Will Forte's son in Good Boys.

He also plays young Tom Hiddleston in The Life of Chuck and played Owen Wilson's son in Wonder.

He also plays both Batman's son and Robin on Harley Quinn.

He also plays Nick Offerman's son in Sovereign and played Boyd Holbrook's son in The Predator and Thomas Jane's son in Before I Wake.

He also played young Justin Bieber in a music video.

In addition to playing young Chris Rock on Everybody Hates Chris, Tyler James Williams played young Bill Cosby's older brother on Little Bill and an older version of his real-life younger brother Tyrel on Lab Rats.

He also played Jack Black's son on Saturday Night Live.

Haley Joel Osment played Forrest Gump's son, Jeff Foxworthy's son, the Disney Beauty and the Beast teapot's son, and Murphy Brown's son.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

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21. This is the best! (Wheel of Fortune, 23 May 2024)

Stray Observations

  • "Chaps sitting at the table next to me were just remarking that you need to have pho in situ at the restaurant to truly appreciate it." (The Sympathizer, S01E06)
  • "America, they eat your heart, then complain about indigestion." (The Sympathizer, S01E06)
  • "Wow, you know a lot about Kristen Stewart."
    "Well, I'm gay." (Abbott Elementary, S03E14)
  • "What the hell? It's not time for white bops yet." (Abbott Elementary, S03E14)
  • "I got to keep moving, or else I'll black out." (Abbott Elementary, S03E14)
  • "I fixed your light." (Abbott Elementary, S03E14)
  • </Abbott Elementary, S03>


(AEW Dynamite, 22 May 2024)


(The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, 22 May 2024)

  • "And I will do that student improv show that I was invited to do. It's the perfect opportunity to make myself look good."
    "Okay, Deborah, improv has never made anyone look good, okay?" (Hacks, S03E08)
  • "Are you living with concerns of obesity?"
    "Ask about the power of not giving a fuck, with Lizzo." (South Park: The End of Obesity)

Big Main

on

It's Cannes film market time!


This should be a television procedural. One kill an episode for 24 episodes.


Uhh… Didn't he die in Ip Man 4: The Finale?


Ooh, a sequel to Flash Point!


[bursts out laughing]

When a Middle Eastern tycoon dispatches international mercenaries to kidnap the zoo's baby pandas, Chan, playing a version of himself as an international action star, is forced to get involved in a rescue mission. [source]

Chinese Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent.

Stay Fucking Hard

on

// Las Vegas, NV

[browsing restaurant menus]

Steak tartare quesadilla?

Is it filled with raw meat, like fried ice cream?

No, it's raw meat on a bed of cheese.

I book a table to try this steak tartare quesadilla.

Server: Uh… Have you ever had our steak tartare?
Jon: Years ago, and not on a quesadilla.
Server: Okay…

Our server begins walking away and then U-turns.

Server: I'm sorry. I can't let you order the steak tartare quesadilla. It's disgusting. It'll make you sick. We're taking it off the menu.

It pains me to heed her advice.

Ty: We can make it at home.
Jon: Home-made steak tartare?
Ty: Order steak tartare to go from somewhere. Spread it on a quesadilla. Bone apple tea. It's not like that fancy carpaccio I tried. Probably cheaper than $32 too.


That fancy carpaccio.

Ty: Steak tartare quesadilla challenge.

Jon: Steak tartare Crunchwrap Supreme?
Jon: No, steak tartare Mexican Pizza! Raw beef on a bed of ground beef.

Ty: Panera Charged Ceviche.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

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20. The Tipping Point (The Simpsons, S35E17)

Stray Observations

  • "What will you do, child? Slay me with the Fourth of July?" (X-Men '97, S01E10)
  • </X-Men '97, S01>
  • "I guess you're forgetting I was on the track team."
    "Oh. I know you a runner."
    "That's a Chicago term for a hо."
    "I didn't know that."
    "Yeah. Ebonics, or AAVE, it changes from state to state." (Abbott Elementary, S03E13)
  • "Did you take it to HR? 'Cause when I used to date the other cashier at Cold Stone Creamery, policy stated if we didn't report it, they wouldn't like it or love it. In fact, they gotta have it reported to HR." (Abbott Elementary, S03E13)
  • </Jerrod Carmichael Reality Show, S01>
  • </Outer Range, S02>

America gone learn tonight

on

// Las Vegas, NV

Post-COVID-19, fewer business here are open 24 hours, and among them are…select off-Strip Tropical Smoothie Cafes?

And not, like, a 24-hour drive-through.

I walked into one located in a strip mall at 02:00 on a Saturday and ordered a smoothie.

The poor middle-aged woman working the graveyard shift at a Tropical Smoothie Cafe.

Also here are, by my count, not one, not two, but three Crumbl knock-offs.

Cookie Friday, Crave Cookies, Twisted Sugar – all selling thick, circularly-frosted discs with rotating flavors.

Four similar cookie businesses, three of them chains founded in Utah, most all of their shops closed on Sunday.

Seinfeld should have made a film about this. Mormon cookie battle royale.

Palazzo has a Mediterranean restaurant from Israeli celebrity chef Eyal Shani.

Encore has a Mediterranean restaurant from Israeli celebrity chef Alon Shaya.

Uma, Oprah.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

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19. Waingro Does Stand-Up (John Mulaney Presents: Everybody's in L.A., 9 May 2024)

Stray Observations

  • "Gods abandon those who believe in them. Mutants do not." (X-Men '97, S01E09)
  • "Oh, my god! Your obsession with comparing me to Robert Carlock." (Hacks, S03E03)
  • "I have a question for you. What rhymes with 'flat tits'?"
    "I'll look it up on RhymeZone." (Hacks, S03E03)
  • "The Big Bad Voodoo Daddies." (Hacks, S03E04)
  • Shilo Sanders as Deion Sanders (BMF, S03E10)
  • </BMF, S03>
  • "I fucked a jar of mayonnaise once."
    "No, you didn't."
    "Yes, I did. Yes, I did. [pause] You ain't ever fuck no mayonnaise?" (Jerrod Carmichael Reality Show, S01E07)

I live inside my own heart, Matt Damon

on

The comedy world is in Los Angeles for the Netflix Is a Joke Festival.

At the end, all four comedians returned to the Bowl stage, as Seinfeld called to "bring out the greatest lineup of comedians I have ever played with in my life," and left while the theme song for his new movie Unfrosted played through the venue.

Craig Horlbeck:

It's funny that Netflix is kind of cornering this comedy market. Can you name a really funny television show that Netflix has created or a funny movie on Netflix?

Unbreakable Kim—no, NBC sold that to Netflix…

Big Mouth is polarizing…

Oh! I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson!

Netflix's funniest show being a bunch of comedy sketches is on brand.