Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


51. Gumby Returns (Saturday Night Live, S45E10)


Stray Observations

  • "Why did you make me wear a mask?"
    "Because masks make men cruel." (Watchmen, S01E09)
  • "You look stupid in those panties."
    "I'm about to become the most powerful man alive, Laurie. Waving my dick in people's faces is just overkill. Yee-haw! Let's get blue." (Watchmen, S01E09)
  • "Just fucking do it."
    "Do what?"
    "You're gonna kill us, right?"
    "Oh yeah. Of course I am." (Watchmen, S01E09)
  • "Where are you?"
    "I'm in every moment we were together, all at once." (Watchmen, S01E09)
  • "You can't heal under a mask, Angela. Wounds need air." (Watchmen, S01E09)
  • Watchmen Season Grade: B
  • ♫: Afterhours – "White Widow" (Mr. Robot, S04E11)
  • "You're right. I hate people. I'm scared of them. I've been scared of them practically my whole life. People I loved, people I trusted, have done their absolute worst to me. And for a long time, that's all I ever knew. So, yeah, I called my group 'fsociety,' because you know what? Fuck society. Society deserves to be hated for everything you said they did and more. Fuck every last one of them for what we've all been through. But then there are some people out there, and it doesn't happen a lot, it's rare, but they refuse to let you hate them. In fact, they care about you in spite of it. And the really special ones, they're relentless at it. Doesn't matter what you do to them. They take it, and care about you anyway. They don't abandon you, no matter how many reasons you give them, no matter how much you're practically begging them to leave. And you wanna know why? Because they feel something for me that I can't. They love me. And for all the pain I've been through, that heals me. Maybe not instantly, maybe not even for a long time, but it heals. And, yeah, there are setbacks. We do fucked up things to each other. And we hurt each other, and it gets messy, but that's just us, in any world you're in. And, yeah, you're right. We're all told we don't stand a chance, and yet we stand. We break, but we keep going, and that is not a flaw. It's what makes us." (Mr. Robot, S04E11)
  • "No, no, Elliot. I just wanna know you're on my side."
    "Always." (Mr. Robot, S04E11)
  • "Ugh, you young people think space is like Saturday Night Live. You see it every day, so you dream of being in it, but it dreams of removing all the air from your body and making you float around it for eternity as a flash-mummified corpse." (Rick and Morty, S04E05)
  • "Morty's starting to look like a '90s Japanese ghost." (Rick and Morty, S04E05)
  • "I killed their… What's his name? Their Buzz Aspirin?"
    "It's actually Buzz Advil, Morty." (Rick and Morty, S04E05)
  • "You can't bring that boulder in here."
    "What?"
    "I said no boulders. This ain't the lake, buddy."
    "Drop the rock!"
    "Well, it's kind of a…a service boulder." (Rick and Morty, S04E05)
  • "You want to go to Boob World, Summer?"
    "Eh, not today." (Rick and Morty, S04E05)
  • "He's trying to eat me." (The Mandalorian, S01E07)
  • "Can I offer you a libation to celebrate the closing of our shared narrative?" (The Mandalorian, S01E07)
  • "I would like to see the baby."
    "Uh, it is asleep."
    "We all will be quiet." (The Mandalorian, S01E07)
  • "We're not battling a 12 year-old from the fuckin' Ren Faire." (Harley Quinn, S01E04)
  • "Is she mad about the paywall too? $7.99 is an ambitious price point." (Harley Quinn, S01E04)
  • "I've…"
    "Yes?"
    "No, no, I wasn't saying your name. I was saying 'I've' as in 'I've got a plan.'" (Harley Quinn, S01E04)


(Saturday Night Live, S45E10)

  • "Recent polls show that Pete Buttigieg has only 4% support among African Americans, but that will change once Pete announces his running mate, the Popeyes chicken sandwich." (Saturday Night Live, S45E10)
  • "'Baudi Moovin' is my alter ego that I use online to hide my identity. And 'Body Movin" is a song from the Beastie Boys." (Don't Fuck with Cats, S01E01)
  • Don't Fuck with Cats Season Grade: B

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Watchmen
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Rick and Morty

The 2019 Draft

Previously on Adam Riff™:

There was an idea… To bring together a group of disparate people… To see if we could create something more…than a year-end list.


12 people select 10 things they loved from 2019 without any overlap, creating a "best of 2019" list unlike any other.

This year, selections will be posted in quasi real time.



THE LEAGUE
Which Pokémon Sword &Shield starter / Disney+ channel / chicken sandwich are you?

In randomly-generated snake draft order:


Molly
Scorbunny / Pixar / Cosmi's Deli's Chicken Cheesesteak (Philadelphia, PA)


Jon Y (me)
Grookey / Star Wars / Plan Check's Southern Fry (Los Angeles, CA)


Adam
Scorbunny / Star Wars / Hattie B's Hot Chicken Sandwich (Nashville, TN)


Jon B
Sobble / Star Wars / Highline's Buffalo style Crazy Train (Seattle, WA)


Aaron
Grookey / Marvel / Fuku's Knockout Spicy Fried Chicken Sandwich


Stan
Scorbunny / Pixar / The Commodore's Hot Breast (Brooklyn, NY)


Russell
Scorbunny / Marvel / O'Charley's Carolina Gold BBQ Chicken Sandwich


Logan
Grookey / Disney / Any Buffalo chicken sandwich


Ben
Scorbunny / Marvel / The NoMad Bar's Chicken French Dip (Las Vegas, NV)


Drew
Sobble / National Geographic / American Sardine Bar's Fried Chicken Sandwich (Philadelphia, PA)


Jon T
Sobble / Marvel / P.G. Clucks' Classic Sandwich (Toronto, ON)


Jeff
Grookey / Pixar / Wendy's Spicy Chicken Sandwich



Alright.

With the first pick in the 2019 Draft, Molly selected…

R1 • Molly
1. Hustlers
film / lorene scafaria



R1 • Jon Y
2. Parasite
film / bong joon-ho


R1 • Adam
3. Perpetual Grace LTD
television / s01 / epix



R1 • Jon B
4. Watchmen
television / s01 / hbo



R1 • Aaron
5. Avengers: Endgame
film / anthony and joe russo


R1 • Stan
6. Fleabag
television / s02 / amazon prime video



R1 • Russell
7. Damian Lillard ethers Russell Westbrook and Paul George in the NBA Playoffs
sports / nba / portland trail blazers



R1 • Logan
8. Marriage Story
film / noah baumbach


R1 • Ben
9. I Think You Should Leave With Tim Robinson's "The Day That Robert Palins Murdered Me" and "Focus Group" Sketches
television / s01e03 &e05 / netflix



R1 • Drew
10. Succession
television / s02 / hbo



R1 • Jon T
11. Baby Yoda
television / the mandalorian / s01 / disney+


R1 • Jeff
12. Once Upon a Time in…Hollywood
film / quentin tarantino


R2 • Jeff
13. The Highwomen
music / artist / "redesigning women"


R2 • Jon T
14. The Irishman
film / martin scorsese



R2 • Drew
15. Barry: "ronny/lily"
television / so2e05 / hbo


R2 • Ben
16. Chernobyl
television / hbo


R2 • Logan
17. Euphoria
television / s01 / hbo


R2 • Russell
18. Midsommar
film / ari aster


R2 • Stan
19. Waves
film / trey edward shults


R2 • Aaron
20. Lizzo
music / artist / "juice"


R2 • Jon B
21. Pen15: "Community Service"
television / s01e05 / hulu


R2 • Adam
22. What We Do in the Shadows
television / s01 / fx


R2 • Jon Y
23. The Other Two
television / s01 / comedy central


R2 • Molly
24. Megan Thee Stallion and "Hot Girl Summer"
music / artist / meme


R3 • Molly
25. The other hot priest: David Acosta (Mike Colter) on Evil
television / s01 / cbs


R3 • Jon Y
26. Ramy: "Strawberries"
television / s01e04 / hulu / masturbation angst + 9/11



R3 • Adam
27. Aimee-Leigh and Baby Billy – "Misbehavin' (1989)"
television / the righteous gemstones / s01e05 / hbo


R3 • Jon B
28. Booksmart
film / olivia wilde


R3 • Aaron
29. Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice
video game / fromsoftware


R3 • Stan
30. Russian Doll
television / s01 / netflix


R3 • Russell
31. Paul Rudd: "Hey, look at us"
meme / hot ones / youtube



R3 • Logan
32. Marvel vs. Scorsese
debate


R3 • Ben
33. Lil Nas X
music / artist / "old town road"



R3 • Drew
34. Lamar Jackson (specifically Lamar in outfielder shades)
sports / nfl / baltimore ravens


R3 • Jon T
35. Knives Out
film / rian johnson


R3 • Jeff
36. Control
video game / remedy


R4 • Jeff
37. John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum in Dolby Cinema
film / chad stahelski / #keanaissance



R4 • Jon T
38. Brienne getting knighted on Game of Thrones
television / s08e02 / hbo


R4 • Drew
39. Broad City's series finale
television / s05e10 / comedy central


R4 • Ben
40. Megan Rapinoe and the United States women's national soccer team
sports / fifa / women's world cup france 2019


R4 • Logan
41. This shot is brilliant and should be shown in any film class
meme


R4 • Russell
42. South Side
television / s01 / comedy central


R4 • Stan
43. James Holzhauer breaks Jeopardy!
television


R4 • Aaron
44. Maggie Rogers
music / artist / "light on"


R4 • Jon B
45. Us
film / jordan peele



R4 • Adam
46. The Amazing Johnathan Documentary
film / ben berman


R4 • Jon Y
47. Untitled Goose Game
video game / house house


R4 • Molly
48. Dolly Parton's America
podcast / wnyc


R5 • Molly
49. "It's ……….Rebekah Vardy's account"
celebrity feud


R5 • Jon Y
50. Transit
film / christian petzold


R5 • Adam
51. The piano man scene in Under the Silver Lake
film / david robert mitchell


R5 • Jon B
52. Tuca and Bertie
television / s01 / netflix


R5 • Aaron
53. Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order
video game / electronic arts


R5 • Stan
54. Lana Del Rey – Norman Fucking Rockwell!
music / album



R5 • Russell
55. Tyler, the Creator – IGOR
music / album


R5 • Logan
56. "This Life" by Vampire Weekend
music / song / 'father of the bride'


R5 • Ben
57. Deadspin
murdered blog


R5 • Drew
58. The tribute to The Sting in Spider-Man: Far from Home
film / jon watts



R5 • Jon T
59. Woman Yelling at a Cat
meme


R5 • Jeff
60. Veep's series finale
television / s07e07 / hbo



R6 • Jeff
61. AEW Dynamite
television / wrestling / tnt


R6 • Jon T
62. Magic Johnson's resignation press conference
sports / nba / los angeles lakers


R6 • Drew
63. Billie Eilish – When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go? (and her not knowing who Van Halen is)
music / album


R6 • Ben
64. Tom Brady's sixth Super Bowl ring
sports / nfl / new england patriots


R6 • Logan
65. Long Shot
film / jonathan levine


R6 • Russell
66. Homelander, Queen Maeve, and the passengers of flight 37 from The Boys
television / s01e04 / amazon prime video


R6 • Stan
67. The Farewell
film / lulu wang


R6 • Aaron
68. Schitt's Creek
television / s05 / netflix



R6 • Jon B
69. Hail Satan?
film / penny lane



R6 • Adam
70. The Tampa Bay Lightning tying the record for wins in a season and getting swept by the 8th seed Columbus Blue Jackets in the first round of the Stanley Cup playoffs
sports / nhl


R6 • Jon Y
71. Trader Joe's Plantain Crisps
food


R6 • Molly
72. "Unlike Agholor"
local news soundbite / philadelphia


R7 • Molly
73. The Bob Newhart episode of Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend
podcast / earwolf


R7 • Jon Y
74. YBN Cordae
music / artist / "rnp (feat. anderson .paak)"



R7 • Adam
75. Tesla Cybertruck
car


R7 • Jon B
76. Ready or Not
film / matt bettinelli-olpin and tyler gillett


R7 • Aaron
77. Céline Dion, fashion icon
celebrity skin


R7 • Stan
78. Emile Mosseri's score for The Last Black Man in San Francisco
film / joe talbot


R7 • Russell
79. Tekashi 6ix9ine's snitch-a-thon
celebrity trial



R7 • Logan
80. Kombucha Girl
meme / tiktok


R7 • Ben
81. "Con Altura (feat. El Guincho)" by ROSALÍA and J Balvin
music / song


R7 • Drew
82. Sophie Turner sending it on the jumbotron and Juuling on set
celebrity vice


R7 • Jon T
83. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: "The Janitor Always Mops Twice"
television / s14e06 / fxx


R7 • Jeff
84. Jenny Lewis at the Ryman Auditorium
live music / nashville, tn / 31 mar


R8 • Jeff
85. Mindhunter
television / s02 / netflix


R8 • Jon T
86. Sharon Van Etten – Remind Me Tomorrow
music / album


R8 • Drew
87. The moon rover sequence in Ad Astra
film / james gray


R8 • Ben
88. My decade-long obsession with Jeffrey Epstein becoming worthwhile
american crime story


R8 • Logan
89. "White Claw Summer"
drink / trend


R8 • Russell
90. When "For Whom the Bell Tolls" by Metallica drops in the opening of Triple Frontier
film / j.c. chandor



R8 • Stan
91. "IHOP Parking Lot (feat. Maya Rudolph and HAIM)" by The Lonely Island
music / song / television / the unauthorized bash brothers experience / netflix



R8 • Aaron
92. #gottafixfast
film mulligan / sonic the hedgehog / jeff fowler



R8 • Jon B
93. Tammy and the T-Rex: Gore Cut
film restoration / stewart raffill


R8 • Adam
94. "Maclunkey"
film edit / star wars: episode iv – a new hope / george lucas


R8 • Jon Y
95. Uncut Gems
film / benny and josh safdie


R8 • Molly
96. Olivia Colman's incredibly inspiring Oscar speech that it turns out she was hammered during
public speaking


R9 • Molly
97. Rihanna deciding to lend some clout to LVMH
fashion


R9 • Jon Y
98. One Cut of the Dead
film / shin'ichirô ueda


R9 • Adam
99. Carly Rae Jepsen – Dedicated
music / album


R9 • Jon B
100. Ascender
comic book / jeff lemire and dustin nguyen



R9 • Aaron
101. Joker making a step street in The Bronx a tourist destination
film / todd phillips


R9 • Stan
102. Julia Jacklin – Crushing
music / album


R9 • Russell
103. The Bodega Boys Soundboard
podcast fansite



R9 • Logan
104. Operation Varsity Blues
celebrity scandal



R9 • Ben
105. DaBaby's music video catalogue
music / artist / "suge"


R9 • Drew
106. Mariah Carey's Bottle Cap Challenge
social media challenge



R9 • Jon T
107. Netflix and Hulu's dueling Fyre Festival documentaries
television


R9 • Jeff
108. The Brooklyn Nets
sports / nba / +kevin durant and kyrie irving



Final Round Blind Bonus Pick
Along with your final pick, please select something from 2019 that you have yet to experience as of 18 December 2019 but are keen on.



R10 • Jeff
109. FIFA 19/20 Ultimate Team
video game mode / electronic arts
+ Mr. Robot's final season / television / s04 / usa


R10 • Jon T
110. Big Mouth: "Florida"
television / s03e04 / netflix
+ Jojo Rabbit / film / taika waititi


R10 • Drew
111. That video where the guy fills a pepper with sunflower seeds, paints it, puts it inside an eggplant, paints it, then seals it inside a wall
???
+ The Witcher / television / s01 / netflix


R10 • Ben
112. Ryen Russillo's worst year ever
podcast excerpt / the bill simmons podcast / the ringer podcast network
+ The Lighthouse / film / robert eggers


R10 • Logan
113. "Digital fur technology"
film marketing soundbite / cats / tom hooper
+ Death Stranding / video game / kojima productions


R10 • Russell
114. The Nickel Boys
book / colson whitehead
+ When They See Us / television / netflix


R10 • Stan
115. James Acaster: Cold Lasagne Hate Myself 1999
live comedy show
+ A Hidden Life / film / terrence malick


R10 • Aaron
116. Taylor Swift
music / artist / "lover"
+ Outer Wilds / video game / mobius


R10 • Jon B
117. Jason Mantzoukas as the Big Bad Wolf
television / legion / s03e06 / fx
+ Black Christmas / film / sophia takal


R10 • Adam
118. Pangzai
viral chinese stunt drinker
+ Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker / film / j.j. abrams



R10 • Jon Y
119. Hypnospace Outlaw
video game / tendershoot
+ Little Women / film / greta gerwig



R10 • Molly
120. North Bergen High School's production of Alien: The Play
theatre
+ You / television / s02 / netflix



UNDRAFTED!
1917
Big Thief
Kawhi Leonard
OK Boomer
Resident Evil 2
Storming Area 51
Unbelievable



Click to view the draft by team.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


50. Children's Clothing Ad (Saturday Night Live, S45E09)


Stray Observations

  • "White people love to split up families." (Shameless, S10E05)
  • "Cold Ice Cream and Hot Kisses. Over here, The Prince of Puget Sound." (Silicon Valley, S06E07)
  • "That's what Florian says to Claudette outside the cheese cave!" (Silicon Valley, S06E07)
  • "Oppenheimer famously said he regretted building the atom bomb and died in despair, but what the fuck does that have to do with anything?"
    "Oppenheimer. What a self-obsessed little bitch." (Silicon Valley, S06E07)
  • "Roger Bannister. Now imagine he'd gone into cardiac arrest and evacuated on himself and died. And as he lay there with his prolapsed anus peeking beneath the running shorts on his newly dead body, the crowd jeered and grimaced. That is what has to happen to us. We have to shit ourselves to death." (Silicon Valley, S06E07)
  • "Fast and powerful. Sounds a little bit like you, Andre Iguodala." (Silicon Valley, S06E07)
  • "Give it up for Menlo Bark!" (Silicon Valley, S06E07)
  • "It may help if, at least for the time being, you pretend to be mad at me."
    "Look, Richard, I was a world theater minor at Vassar, but that is one Javanese shadow play that I cannot perform." (Silicon Valley, S06E07)
  • "You graduates have a lot of responsibility finishing the important work of movements such as 'pound met double zero' and 'title icks.'" (Silicon Valley, S06E07)
  • "This fall, we actually had a herpes epidemic among the residents, which is bad medically, but, from another perspective, it's kind of touching." (Silicon Valley, S06E07)
  • Silicon Valley Season Grade: D
  • "Alexa, play some Faith Hill." (Mr. Robot, S04E10)
  • "She is just a robot you use to buy paper towels." (Mr. Robot, S04E10)
  • "You know, maybe it was what my boy Joubert says: 'I don't interest myself in the why.
    I think more often in terms of the when, sometimes where, but always how much.'" (Mr. Robot, S04E10)
  • "I gotta take a whiz, okay? Too many Code Reds this morning." (Mr. Robot, S04E10)
  • ♫: Carly Rae Jepsen – "Run Away with Me" (Mr. Robot, S04E10)
  • "You know who's into dragons, Morty? Nerds that refuse to admit they're Christian." (Rick and Morty, S04E04)
  • "Go to Brenner Ass." (Rick and Morty, S04E04)
  • "Hey, why do you have Future's self-titled album on vinyl?" (Rick and Morty, S04E04)
  • "Grandpa, do something, or I will tweet, and you will be canceled." (Rick and Morty, S04E04)
  • "Get out of Florida, you overthinking cat."
    "Why don't you go overthink shit up north in Georgia?" (Rick and Morty, S04E04)
  • "This man with a ponytail makes a valid point. All dragons are sluts deep down." (Rick and Morty, S04E04)
  • "Eggnog?"
    "What's in it?"
    "Oh, uh, heavy cream, egg yolks, sugar, and rum."
    "Mmm! So I'm drinking cake?"
    "Yeah."
    "What a fantastic White idea." (Black-ish, S06E10)
  • "How about we repackage some of the surplus? We still have lots of leftover Mexican Joker."
    "That's 'cause people didn't really like Mexican Joker." (South Park, S23E10)
  • "It's cocaine that's farm to nostril." (South Park, S23E10)
  • South Park Season Grade: C
  • "I wonder what you look like under there. Maybe he's a Gungan. Is that why yousa don't wanna show your face?" (The Mandalorian, S01E06)
  • Door gag (The Mandalorian, S01E06)
  • "That really hurt, you cunt!" (Harley Quinn, S01E03)
  • "Unlike the Saiyan Souls, the clients here haven't changed their hairstyles much in the past few decades." (Joe Pera Talks with You, S02E03)
  • "And Louise. Her best friend is wine." (Joe Pera Talks with You, S02E03)

The New AR™TV World Drama Champion: Watchmen
The New AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Rick and Morty

Beauty, light, and crushing life

Today I learned that liquid stainless steel is a thing that exists.

Upgrade the look of your existing appliances by literally painting on stainless steel.

Appliances painted with stainless steel to go with your laminate wood flooring and faux leather sofa.


How has someone not designed a better dispenser for disinfecting wipes?

The canister lid doesn't always close, you have to fish out the first wipe, and the last few wipes are soaked.


Idea: A two-tiered public waste bin. Dispose of liquids in the lower compartment via a "urinal" on the side of the bin.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

49. Puddle of Mudd (Silicon Valley, S06E06)


Stray Observations

  • Jeremy Irons farting (Watchmen, S01E07)
  • ♫: Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross – "LIFE ON MARS?" (Watchmen, S01E07)
  • "My number is: I like anal." (Shameless, S10E04)
  • Donald Trump (Mr. Robot, S04E09)
  • "Because one time, I threw a party and David Copperfield said it was beat." (Silicon Valley, S06E06)
  • "Gwart hates Puddle of Mudd." (Silicon Valley, S06E06)
  • "Look, a lot of people made a name for themselves at parties. Bane, he decided to blow up Gotham Stadium during Trivia Night."
    [cutaway]
    "Oh, the Dallas Cowboys."
    "Incorrect. The Steelers have won the most games at Gotham Stadium."
    "I'm gonna blow up Gotham Stadium." (Harley Quinn, S01E02)
  • "You ruined the bank mitzvah."
    "Boooo!"
    "And crippled an improv troupe!"
    "Meh. Well." (Harley Quinn, S01E02)
  • "Those guys are such dicks."
    "No, not all of 'em. When we were leaving, Bane said, 'You go, girl!'"
    "No, he distinctly said, 'Ooh, Go-Gurt.'" (Harley Quinn, S01E02)
  • "Today, I follow rules because I am afraid of jail." (Joe Pera Talks with You, S02E02)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Succession
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


48. Cole World 2 (WWE NXT, 11-27-19)


Stray Observations

  • Cheyenne Jackson (Watchmen, S01E06)
  • The man who Will Reeves arrests and later shoots in the head is Fred Trump (Watchmen, S01E06)
  • Minutemen photo (Watchmen, S01E06)
  • "All right. You can hang yourself now." (Watchmen, S01E06)
  • Lady Trieu reading The Fountainhead (Watchmen, S01E06)
  • "Yo, Arby's be delicious, though. Got that five for five. Shit's the fiscally responsible meal." (Mr. Robot, S04E08)
  • "I ain't never had Momofukus, bro." (Mr. Robot, S04E08)
  • "Ta-ta for now, you flange." (Mr. Robot, S04E08)
  • "A signing with Catherines Alpha through Omega Joneses!" (Rick and Morty, S04E03)
  • Elon Musk (Rick and Morty, S04E03)
  • "Rick, I think this was a powerful lesson in the dangers of AI, which, by the way, means 'love' in Chinese." (Rick and Morty, S04E03)
  • 'Klay Thompson' (Black-ish, S06E09)
  • "The spice melange." (South Park, S23E08)
  • "My fellow whites!" (Harley Quinn, S01E01)
  • "Leave Joker for who? Some reliable square who thinks he's quirky for playing on a dodgeball team and calls himself a 'beer nerd'?"
    "Okay, I know you're talking about Dan. It was my first year at Sarah Lawrence. There were very slim pickings." (Harley Quinn, S01E01)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Succession
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Eater's Digest: Philadelphia 6

Previously on Adam Riff™:


November 2019
beiler's doughnuts / k'far / condesa / el techo / american sardine bar / primohoagies // cumberland farms / roy rogers // forsythia / south philly barbacoa / essen bakery / metropolitan bakery / goldie / famous 4th street cookie company / siu kee duck house / primohoagies / the dandelion



Smoked Salmon Jerusalem Bagel (K'Far)
dill butter, pickled cucumbers

^ Served hot.


Potato Boreka (K'Far)

^ Its filling is pleasantly curried.

Mint Chocolate Tehina Shake (Goldie)

Tehina Chocolate Chip Cookie (K'Far)

Sour Cherry and Dark Chocolate Cookie (Metropolitan Bakery)
—The best chocolate chip cookie in Philadelphia.



Chamoyada (Condesa)
whipped coconut, mango, angel food cake, chamoy, lime curd


Tamal de Chocolate (Condesa)
masa, peanut ice cream, honey


Pastel de Queso (Condesa)
fromage blanc, guava, sweet lime, anise

^^^ All of the desserts at (Condesa) are scrumptious.

Lamb Adobado Tacos (Condesa)
—Give (South Philly Barbacoa) a run for its money.


Octopus and Bean Tlayuda (Condesa)
asiento, quesillo, repollo


Truffle and Ham Hock Beignets (Forsythia)
apple miso butter
—We were deciding between eating at (Forsythia) or (Fiore), and I chose (Forsythia) because of this dish. I chose poorly.


Omelette (Forsythia)
jonah crab, espelette, sauce choron

^ Craig LaBan:

A traditional omelet, folded like a velvety blanket around a filling of Jonah crab, was topped with a tomato-blushed béarnaise called sauce Choron that would earn a five-star Yelp review from Auguste Escoffier.

I mean… It's a good omelette…


Pommes Anna (Forsythia)
epoisses onion

The pungent fog of aerated Époisses that rolled off the towering pommes Anna, a butter-crisped scroll of shaved potato, was one of the most memorable dishes I've eaten all year.

^ Okay, this cheese sauce is admittedly divine.

Sweet Potato Agnolotti (Forsythia)
lamb neck, pecorino, cèpes


Tuna Collar Amandine (Forsythia)
fresno chili, hearts of palm, ponzu


Turkey Diablo (PrimoHoagies)
home style turkey breast, hot pepper cheese, a spicy blend of spices
—Are hoagies not cut in half?

Herr's Kettle Cooked Dark Russet Potato Chips

Apple Cider Donuts (Cumberland Farms)


MISSED CONNECTIONS

Chicken and Snail Lasagna (Serpico)
béchamel, hazelnuts, ramp pesto, yuzu

Smoked Herring Spaghetti (Friday Saturday Sunday)
crab, calabrian chili, anise seed

Sweetbread Katsu [Sando] (Friday Saturday Sunday)
bone marrow tartar sauce, pickled radish

Green Curry Chicken Wontons (Cheu Fishtown)
b&b pickles, peanut, crispy onion

Squid "Pad Thai" Salad (Vernick Fish)

Ricotta Gnocchi (Vernick Fish)
tuna 'nduja, broccoli rabe


Roasted Porgy (Vernick Fish)
jasmine rice, andouille sausage, creole broth

Mac Daddy (Flannel)
three thick slices of mac and cheese loaf made with cheddar, mozzarella, cheddar, cream cheese, cheddar, provolone, cheddar, and monterey jack; with burnt bread crumbs and maldon salt