Sometimes, when I'm depressed, I like to pretend to sniff cocaine off my hands like Sean Penn does in Carlito's Way, replete with sniffing sound and post-sniff facial expressions. The American hostage in Saudi Arabia kind of looks like Sgt. Slaughter.

—Meatloaf? —Hoochies? …Haha? *** Last night, I dreamt that The Streets played a show in my house. After the show, Mike Skinner asked me for something to eat. I asked my mother if we had anything for Mike to eat and she told me there…

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I awoke early Sunday morning and saw what appeared to be my father standing completely naked in my room. I didn't have my glasses on, so I wasn't sure I saw what I thought I saw, but I had sudden flashbacks to my childhood. Kidding….

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Has anyone else noticed the resemblance between Aaron Carter, the lead singer of The Calling and the kid who plays Draco Malfoy in the Harry Potter films? The Beastie Boys made special appearances at two radio station festivals in California this past weekend. I saw…

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Random notes before I leave for the airport: Matt: —oh man… i know you don't care, but i have to tell someone —okay —i just caught the legendary pokemon in my game. WOOOO. I saw an old white homeless man wearing a faded Every Time…

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Last weekend, in an apparent attempt to draw a crowd response during his match against WWE champion Eddie Guerrero in Munich, John "Bradshaw" Layfield goose-stepped around the ring and raised his arm numerous times in an Adolf Hitler salute. Such actions are illegal in Germany….

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Holy shit! I saw a Panera on my way back from Dockweiler Sunday. Last week at work, my co-worker Greg and I got into a heated argument over which eatery had the best bread. I said Quizno's. Greg, who's from Chicago, said Panera's bread owns…

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I received an amusing spam-mail from "Nancy Delong": Subject: Poweeeerful Ereeeections From This Seeeeex Oiiiiil Hi Haley, Wannaaaaa feeel like Superman in Beeeed! Your paaaartner will looooove you for this oone. http://www.mauderbonds.info/x/?AFF_ID=wd06ox Nancy Delong The best part was the postscript: Reeeemove Heeeeeree Ghostface Killah lyrics…

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From the "Vice Guide to Evil" in the Vice Guide to Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll: —Hellfire Club (old British royalty who would ride around on horses and when they found a homeless person on the side of the road, up to thirty…

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