What would happen if Spider-Man slit his wrists? Anyone?

I'm pissed that Fox's website didn't list Modest Mouse as a guest star on The OC this week. I've been waiting to tape this episode. Regardless, "Paper Thin Walls," "The View" and "The World At Large." To quote the Japanese, it was "super!" Next week:…

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I considered moving to Cleveland to intern at Alternative Press until Kalki (a native Ohioan) referred the city as "the mistake by the lake." Add this to the Cleveland PR file: —A Cleveland man has sued NBC for $2.5 million, claiming that he could not…

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Is Pete Carroll capable of emoting anything besides happy-go-luckiness? Because Rory refuses to, let me just say, "Congratulations, USC." I may not like their football team, but a major college championship by way of a blowout win benefits our much persecuted conference a lot. Also,…

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I saw a clip of "The Sports Guy" Bill Simmons on ESPN2 discussing Bill Buckner. He has a very effeminate voice for a person whom so many men worship. Simmons: "Sorry, I refuse to watch any sport where Pete Carroll can be considered a genius….

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New game! Is it a Coheed and Cambria song or isolated text from Pitchfork's review of Kid A by Radiohead? 1. inhuman genesis 2. the light and the glass 3. three evils (embodied in love and shadow) 4. junesong provision 5. delirium trigger 6. artificial…

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Here's my lazy rendering of billboards for the movie Racing Stripes: (Sorry, I don't own a camera) To a casual observer from a distance, it looks like the zebra's ass is talking. Ralphs sold me a sealed bag of stale tortilla chips. No wonder they…

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I hate the statement "new year, new you!" I don't believe that people can change themselves. I believe that every human being has an innate self that they can evade or hide, but can't ever change. This is not to say that outside factors (war,…

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