is gonna build a mountain
"Idea: Cookies that look like rabbit asses."
// Byron Bay, NSW, Australia
I saw this at a bookstore:
In 2011, travel writers Karen Klein, Thomas Klein, and Peter Haunert established VeggieHotels®, the world's first network of entirely vegetarian and vegan hotels and inns.
This place has no traffic lights.
"Australia's #1 conference for Executive and Personal Assistants."
1. Conferences for Personal Assistants exist?
2. Australia has more than one?
Noted executive assistant Monica Lewinsky.
12. Split (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S06E11)
Stray Observations
Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Homecoming
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: The Other Two
// Byron Bay, NSW, Australia
The holiday park I'm staying at offers free wifi, but only 200MB a day.
"4-star hotel" per Google.
You can add 2GB for 24 hours on one device for $9.95.
Fortunately, I bought a 25GB 4G SIM card for my mobile before arriving.
Unfortunately, switching SIM cards has complicated two factor authentication.
Dinner at (Barrio):
A 10% surcharge on public holidays? To compensate for being short-staffed?
"Would you like some bread?"
"Sure."
When the check arrives, I discover that what I assumed were two slices of complimentary bread cost $5.00.
She offered me a starter?!
"There is a 1.5% surcharge for paying with a credit card."
[pause]
Fortunately, USD is currently ~28% stronger than AUD.
"Would you like to add a tip?"
I thought I didn't have to tip in Australia?
I google "tipping in Australia."
"In Australia, a standard 10% is voluntarily given for good service."
Well, she made me feel like a lummox during my meal, but she's also looking right at me.
I tip 10%.
At least it's not a public holiday.
On my ride to (Barrio), I discover that my Uber rating dropped from 4.83 to 4.80.
Was it that driver in Las Vegas who I cancelled on because he was taking too long and who then accepted my replacement ride request? Is it because his cancellation fee was refunded?
0.3 is a notable drop. Can one man have all that power?
I hope my rating doesn't drop further while I'm in Australia because of only tipping drivers $1.00.
I browse menus for other local restaurants.
"A 10% surcharge applies on Sunday and 15% on public holidays."
Damn, Sundays too?
Brunch at (Barrio):
"Would you like piri piri sauce with your sausage roll?"
"Sure."
Wait, is she gonna…?
[adds $1.00 for sauce]
Yep.
UPDATE
Dinner at (Raes):
"Would you like still or sparkling water?"
I normally answer "still," but on a whim opt for sparkling.
When the check arrives, I discover that what I assumed were two glasses of complimentary sparkling water cost $10.00 – twice as much as my one glass of cola.
I should have known when I saw the S.Pellegrino bottle.
March 2019
sparrow and wolf / the buffet at wynn / esther's kitchen / the buffet at wynn / tacos el gordo / sweets raku / bacchanal buffet / paid in full / the buffet at wynn / bajamar seafood and tacos / bin 702 / b.b.d.'s / the buffet at wynn / ghost donkey / best friend / eataly / the buffet at wynn / secret pizza
Hot Potato (Sparrow and Wolf)
potato pave, smoked trout roe, chive crème fraîche, sichuan peppercorn
^ I expected it to be crispier.
Steak Tartare (Sparrow and Wolf)
shiitake mushroom, kizami wasabi, confit egg
Braised Lamb Neck (Sparrow and Wolf)
scallion pancakes, pickled vegetable
—Served with fabulous 
pickled apple.
Caramelized White Chocolate Terrine (Sparrow and Wolf)
flourless chocolate cake, ras el hanout pear butter
(Esther's Kitchen) was named one of Las Vegas' 2018 restaurants of the year.
I was not impressed.
To be fair, I informed my server that I was gonna over order and would probably box up a lot of what I ordered to go, and he heard "I want my order to go," so I did not experience (Esther's Kitchen)'s food properly, consuming it inside the restaurant out of to-go boxes.
Housemade Sourdough Bread (Esther's Kitchen)
anchovy garlic butter
—Butter was good, bread was not warm.
Rye Tagliatelle (Esther's Kitchen)
braised duck, mushroom, green, cracklins
—Did the cracklins get soggy?
Blood Orange Polenta Cake (Esther's Kitchen)
candied kumquats, orange sherbet and caramel
Octopus Chicharron Taco (BajaMar Seafood and Tacos)
lightly-battered fried octopus with pickled onions, cream of tomatillo sauce, cilantro, mozzarella
—The texture of the tortilla was odd. Not soft, but not hard, and not stale.
(Paid in Full) is a rare case of a restaurant improving on second visit.
Tuna/Tots (Paid in Full)
wasabi kewpie, scallion, rice cracker
^ Two of my favourites, raw tuna and tater tots, together.
Crispy Tapioca "Cacio e Pepe" (Paid in Full)
aged parm, tellicherry peppercorn
The P.i.F. Dog [100% Wagyu Beef Katsu Style] (Paid in Full)
katsu sauce, garlic kewpie, house kimchi
^ This thing that tastes like a hot dog is wagyu beef?
Tatooine Sea Breeze (Paid in Full)
cranberry pok pok som, cranberry juice, sprite
—I have become someone who enjoys drinking vinegar.
The Jawa Family Reunion (Paid in Full)
apple pok pok som, apple juice, ginger beer
Okinawan Taco Rice (Paid in Full)
seasoned ground chuck, cheddar, border sauce
^ The Doritos were a curveball.
Flamin' Hot Cheeto Montadito (Bin 702)
house spread, white cheddar
^ I'd eat another one.
Flamin' Hot Cheeto-Crusted Pickle (Bin 702)
^ The Cheeto crust doesn't add anything.
Hot Chicken Piña Colada Sandwich (b.B.d.'s)
spicy fried chicken, house-made piña colada mayo, dill pickles on a sesame seed bun
^ I couldn't discern the piña colada mayo.
Passion Fruit Sunflower (b.B.d.'s)
elderflower, black sesame meringue, pastry cream, sea salt
In addition to a secret pizzeria, The Cosmopolitan now boasts a secret bar that offers nachos especiales such as
Carrot Nachos (Ghost Donkey)
carrot "chili," carrot habanero hot sauce, mezcal pickled carrots, cilantro
I love everything about (Best Friend) except its food. I love its liquor store front concealing a dining room that you enter through industrial strip doors. I love the #008000 tracksuits and #CC8899 jackets that its employees wear. I love drinking from what appears to be a #FF0000 Solo cup.
But its food…
Slippery Shrimp (Best Friend)
crispy rock shrimp, chili mayo, walnuts
—A bland version of (Yang Chow [in Los Angeles])' famous dish.
The Big E from the O.C. (Best Friend)
kimchi fried rice arancini, ikura, ponzu
—Didn't taste like anything.
Shaking Beef Saltado (Best Friend)
filet strips, fries, onions, peppers, cilantro
—The beef was cooked well…
Bomboloni Gianduja (Eataly)
filled with nutella spread
MISSED CONNECTIONS
Wood Fired Lasagna (Sparrow and Wolf)
lamb bolognese, miso, burrata
Chili Cheese Spaghetti (Best Friend)
beef chili, onions, tabasco
—$33 Skyline.
Hundred Dolla Tostada (Best Friend)
kaluga caviar, crema, salsa
Mexican Street Corn Ravioli (Beauty and Essex)
roasted poblano creme, jalapeño, cotija, cilantro
Oxtail Bibimbap (Once)
black mint stew, tacu tacu, plantains, sunny side up egg
Butterscotch Cake (Yardbird)
bacon frosting, butterscotch sauce, vanilla ice cream
Cheesecake Challenge (Guy Fieri's Vegas Kitchen and Bar)
a new york-style marble cheesecake topped with potato chips, pretzels, and hot fudge
11. Guy Fawkes Panel (Kraft Punk's Political Party)
The panelist in the red hat is my friend's brother.
Stray Observations
Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Homecoming
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: The Other Two
I was supposed to leave for Australia today, but I postponed my flight so I could see Us on opening weekend.
But then Universal postponed Us' release a week to accommodate a world premiere at SXSW.
So now Us doesn't open until next Friday, when I'll be in Australia, where Us doesn't open until the following Friday.
Can I survive a week on social media out of the Us loop?
Fuckin' SXSW…
Previously on Adam Riff™ [Jan 2008]:
I was carded twice – once in a sports book and once at a roulette table. I wasn't sure whether to feel flattered or dismayed. 25 going on 18…
// Las Vegas, NV
I'm playing Pai Gow Poker at the Flamingo. A cocktail waitress passes by.
Waitress: Drinks? Drinks?
Me: Can I get a Diet Coke?
Waitress: Just a plain Diet?
Me: Yes.
The waitress asks the dealer if he carded me.
—
Dealer change.
The new dealer asks the departing dealer if he carded me.
—
I cut through Harrah's on my way back to the Palazzo and stop to see how a spin of roulette plays out, during which time a floorwoman approaches me and asks to see identification.
36 going on 18…
I'm playing Craps at the Downtown Grand when the man to my left cracks a joke that incenses the woman to my right.
The man then spends the next two hours trying to get back in the woman's good graces with me standing between them the whole time.
"Baby…"
"Baby…"
"Baby…"
"We good?"
"Lover…"
"Lover…"
Didn't help that the woman was chain-smoking.
// Las Vegas, NV
The dude who played Raymond's brother on Everybody Loves Raymond has a comedy club with nightly performances by naked magicians.
[reading about Criss Angel's new show]
Angel's sinister alter ego, Xristos, stops by to cut a woman in half with a giant industrial buzzsaw.
I assume that's Xristos on the right.
Criss Angel is 51.
Ben: I hear that Park MGM is trying to assemble a 2020 Rat Pack: Justin Timberlake, Seth MacFarlane, Bruno Mars, and one other. They would perform both together and separately.
Jon: Has JT reached the Vegas residency stage of his career?
Ben: Hey, Drake and Cardi B have Vegas residencies…
// Las Vegas, NV
"Suggested attire: Desert festival inspired costumes and arid climate survival gear."
Lucky Dragon Hotel and Casino is a closed Asian-themed boutique hotel and locals casino in Las Vegas, Nevada
Developer Andrew Fonfa had initially purchased the property as part of a five-acre parcel in 1987. At the time, Fonfa planned to build a hotel on the property, as he expected Circus Circus Enterprises to construct the Excalibur Hotel and Casino nearby, thus increasing tourism for the northern Las Vegas Strip. The Excalibur was ultimately built at the southern end of the Las Vegas Strip.
In 2008, Fonfa and his sister, Gudren, revealed plans for a potential hotel-casino on the property. The $1.2 billion resort would be called Q, standing for "queer," and would cater to gay and lesbian people.
None of Lucky Dragon's phone numbers contained the number 4, and its granite sidewalks were designed to imitate dragon scales.
Imagine how Q would have catered to gays and lesbians. Iced coffee makers in every room. The pool deck is a PokéStop.