Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

on


40. The Seattle crowd boos Kevin Owens and Elias into oblivion (WWE Raw, 10-01-18)

Honourable Mention

  • "I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud" by William Wordsworth (Shameless, S09E04)
  • Mac and Charlie beat the unholy crap out of a gang of children (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S13E05)

Stray Observations

  • "I'm not boy crazy. I've never felt more boy sane." (Bob's Burgers, S09E01)
  • "No loud noises."
    "I'll tell my butt." (Bob's Burgers, S09E01)
  • "I could go for another visit to the boy-ffet." (Bob's Burgers, S09E01)
  • "What's a Weinstein?"
    "Being manipulative and pathetic."
    "About the only way I ever get sex is being manipulative and pathetic."
    "You ever jack off into a potted plant? Ask for massages wearing an open bathrobe? Hmm? Rape a couple dozen?"
    "Allegedly."
    "No…"
    "Then you're probably an Ansari."
    "What's an Ansari?"
    "That's just being a dick." (Shameless, S09E04)
  • "You're a congressman again. What are you going to do?"
    "Absolutely nothing." (Shameless, S09E04)


Chris Partlow's computer-generated pelvis (The Deuce, S02E04)

  • "Brace yourself."
    "What?" (The Deuce, S02E04)
  • "Hey, dad, I lost my tooth in my breakfast panini." (Kidding, S01E04)
  • "I can't replace Jeff with a Styrofoam head and then look him in the eye over osso buco." (Kidding, S01E04)
  • "And then I loved her in the pussy." (Kidding, S01E04)
  • "Hate doesn't punish who you think it does." (Kidding, S01E04)
  • "The world is a perfect circle of endless possibilities."
    "It's not a circle. It's a hole." (Kidding, S01E04)
  • "I mean, look at us. 30. Single. Black. Out here thriving. Looking like all three Jennifer Hudsons." (Insecure, S03E08)
  • Insecure Season Grade: C
  • "Tear-jerking dramas like Love, Actually and BASEketball." (WWE SmackDown LIVE, 10-02-18)
  • "I am a 2018 Range Rover woman!" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S13E05)
  • "Do you know how much weird stuff has happened because of your little experiment? England left Europe. That Hugh Jackman musical about P.T. Barnum, it made like 400 million dollars. Also, the Jacksonville Jaguars are good now."
    "Impossible!"
    "I'm serious! They're going to make the playoffs! Blake Bortles is…kind of okay, maybe? I don't know, it's…being debated amongst experts." (The Good Place, S03E03)
  • "I mean, because of you, Byron Allen owns the Weather Channel now."
    "Is, is that bad?"
    "I don't know, but it's weird, man!" (The Good Place, S03E03)
  • "Everyone was there for some other book – boy witch – written by a homeless British teacher, of all things!" (Fresh Off the Boat, S05E01)
  • "Whoa. An RV's no place to be sad…" (Fresh Off the Boat, S05E01)


Legion Admiral Fukuyama costume? (Into the Dark: The Body, S01E01)

  • "Oh, shit, man! I was just on VentureBeat's list of 40 under 40! I can't die like this!" (Into the Dark: The Body, S01E01)
  • "He's like Tracy Morgan. I don't know if he knows he's being funny, but he's fucking funny." (Big Mouth, S02E01)
  • "What is that? An undershirt?"
    "Uhh, it's Kirkland Signature? They also make water." (Big Mouth, S02E02)
  • "What do you know, Fillion? You're just a sex symbol for nerds and geriatrics!"
    "Gasp!"
    "And you have way more hair than you really need!" (Big Mouth, S02E02)
  • Golf Lundgren (Big Mouth, S02E04)
  • "Get out!" (Big Mouth, S02E05)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Snowfall
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Who Is America?

Who knew evil girls had the prettiest face?

on

Fighting Game Idea: Top Dawg, a TDE-branded spiritual successor to the Def Jam games of the '00s.

The roster is TDE artists and their contemporaries.

Instead of artists fighting, perhaps the fighters are characters inspired by aliases.

Kung Fu Kenny (Kendrick Lamar)
Groovy Tony (ScHoolboy Q)
Eastside Johnny (Jay Rock)
Mayday (Ab-Soul)
Lord Flacko (A$AP Rocky)
Champagne Papi (Drake)
Hendrix (Future)
kiLL edward (J. Cole)
Bobby Tarantino (Logic)
Mr. Solo Dolo (Kid Cudi)
Huncho (Quavo)
La Flame (Travis Scott)
Wolf Haley (Tyler, the Creator)
Crippy Teigen (Vince Staples)
Slimer (Young Thug)

Rory: No, you unlock alter egos.
Jon: Ooh, I like that.

Buster Busts Loose!

on

VS.
A troubled foster kid uses his scathing word skills to become an unlikely rap battle champion. But when he doorsteps his biological mother after ten years in care, he is forced to face his toughest opponent yet: His Past.

8 MILE meets BOY A. VS. is an inspirational rites of passage drama set in the exciting UK rap battling scene.

8 Mile meets Boy A – ah so…

I always confuse Boy A and Never Let Me Go.

Penelope "Punky" Brewster is a warm, funny and bright child. Her father walked out on her family, then her mother abandoned her at a Chicago shopping center, leaving Punky alone with her dog Brandon.

This was the premise for a children's show.

JUMPMAN
Denis grew up in an orphanage, where his mother left him soon after his birth. He is a special boy, who due to a rare illness is immune to pain. This makes him popular among other boys, who take bets on how long he can endure cruel physical games.

One day his mother turns up out of the blue and takes him to Moscow, where he becomes part of a gang that extracts money from wealthy people. Denis becomes a "jumpman" – someone who jumps in front of cars to blackmail the drivers.

Reunited with his mother, Denis feels that this new life is a dream come true until one day… he starts feeling pain again.

This new life of jumping in front of cars to blackmail wealthy people is a dream come true.

The Road Movie meets Logan.

Prolific Pukers

on

[browsing New York Comic Con Entertainment Guests]

"Andy Biersack, Black Veil Brides"?

From the Stage to the Page: Musicians Creating Comic Books
International producer/DJ and entrepreneur Steve Aoki, Hip Hop Legend Darryl "DMC" McDaniels, rock star Andy Biersack of the Black Veil Brides and alt-pop phenomenon Lights headline a panel discussing their transition from musicians to comic book creators.

Who is the audience for this?

That's the Red Ranger?

I feel like Ben Savage's sole source of income nowadays is Boy Meets World reunions.

"Bowen Yang, Jon Glaser Loves Gear" – that show wasn't cancelled?

Huh, season two sometime this fall.

"Bowen" is a name that only Asian dudes have.

The only time I go to church is when someone's in a casket

on

I need to commission an album cover and, in browsing artist marketplaces, stumbled upon this listing:

(NSFW-Digital) Summer Last Day!
NSFW/R18 Commissions! Done in digital with simple background Do's: -NSFW (Hentai, Porn, Sexy, etc) -Individual or Couples -Heterosexual & GL Don't: -Furries -Lollicon -Complicated background. It will take 1-2 weeks (It can be done less than a week if I'm not busy or depends on the number of revisions)

I can't stop looking at its accompanying sample illustration:

It's so amazingly awkward. I want a large print of it to hang in my home.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

on

39. Tracking Shootout (Maniac, S01E09)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • "It's a parody of Westworld, except instead of cowboys and Indians, it's sex robots. I mean, it is brilliant." (The Deuce, S02E03)
  • John Belushi (The Deuce, S02E03)
  • "TV-wise, while we'll still be showing the White Sox games, we're gonna be introducing some alternative programming for the ladies."
    "Like what?"
    "Cooking shows? Ellen?"
    "This Is Us."
    "Let's not get carried away, Kermit." (Shameless, S09E03)
  • "And make that journey all that way on our own?"
    "Why not? You're mean and self-involved enough to survive anything, and I'm a goddamn robot." (American Horror Story: Apocalypse, S08E03)
  • Book of Eli Billy Eichner (American Horror Story: Apocalypse, S08E03)
  • "Why are you molesting my Loubs?" (American Horror Story: Apocalypse, S08E03)
  • "When that jet took off, I had to put you away in that place in my brain that had everything I loved but could never have again, like…sushi." (American Horror Story: Apocalypse, S08E03)


(American Horror Story: Apocalypse, S08E03)

  • "Mac, what is it that you do at the bar?"
    "I am the head of security—"
    "He's our doorman."
    "No, he's just, like, our gay guy now." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S13E04)
  • "Maybe that help with come from Tay Zonday's autobiography Chocolate Book!" (The Good Place, S03E01)
  • Joey Ryan (The Good Place, S03E02)
  • "Annie, why are you here?"
    "Because I'm your friend, and that's what friends do." (Maniac, S01E10)
  • Maniac Season Grade: C

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Snowfall
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Who Is America?

Looking forward:

Q4 films > Q4 television.

Dropping Riverdale and Speechless.

I want to be king until I am

on

This website is now just IMDb film synopses.

In Discovery Channel's all-new motor game show BRAKE ROOM, celebrity contestants try to predict what happens in the craziest viral videos from the motor world in hopes of winning the alluring 'mystery box.'

Discovery Channel is now just shows about motor vehicles, treasure hunters, and people who live in Alaska.

Idea: The Giving Tree, but the tree is a man who is literally made of money.

Let Your Pizza Breath

on

On his seventh album, Lupe Fiasco construct[s] a fable about a group of African slaves who are thrown off a ship and perish. Some spirits return to Africa while others form an armada to patrol the sea against future slave ships.

Remember when he rapped about skateboarding?

Its first five songs are, in order: an opening lament, a Spanish-language rap, a consciousness-raising banger, a grime track, and a tender string movement.

related:

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

on

38. Feels Good Man (Maniac, S01E03)

Honourable Mention

  • Stefon Diggs plays Fast Money (Celebrity Family Feud, S04E10)
  • "I freakin' love bisque!" (American Horror Story: Apocalypse, S08E02)
  • Orientation video (Maniac, S01E02)

Stray Observations

  • "Hopkins made me soft. I have manners now. I eat pâté." (Shameless, S09E02)
  • "And if you wanna impress him, use the word 'artisanal' a lot. It's how fancy people say 'good.'" (Shameless, S09E02)
  • "You look like Lee Harvey Oswald's creative younger brother." (Kidding, S01E02)
  • "That's an expensive vagina you're adding. That is a $4 million otter twat." (Kidding, S01E02)
  • "What's next, Bi Little Pony?" (Kidding, S01E02)
  • ♫: Bas – "Tribe (feat. J. Cole)" (Insecure, S03E06)
  • Preux and Proper (Insecure, S03E06)
  • "There are a lot of Jewish men who only date Jewish women, and nobody calls them out. So, why can't I be…Orthodox black?" (Insecure, S03E06)
  • "Do these cupcakes say 'congratulations on your light-skinned baby'? Right? 'Cause it's all light, every layer is light, but then there are little chocolate bits to remind him, you still a nigga." (Insecure, S03E06)
  • "Where the Henny fountain at?" (Insecure, S03E06)
  • "Niggas are mad disgruntled." (Insecure, S03E06)
  • MasterChef Season Grade: C
  • "Rip Taylor! Larry Kramer! Go on. With every crack of the whip, I'll pay tribute to the great gay radicals of the '70s and '80s. Their names give me strength! Greg Louganis!" (American Horror Story: Apocalypse, S08E02)
  • Kathy Bates is a robot? (American Horror Story: Apocalypse, S08E02)
  • "I don't get into this bathroom soon I'm gonna shit my pants!"
    "Yes! Do it! See, that's what I'm talking about. Gross-out humor. It's like taking the original to the next level. See, nobody expects that from women. It's so much more shocking." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S13E03)
  • "You're supposed to be drinking wines! You know, you're not supposed to be selling vag rocks and shit tea." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S13E03)
  • "Now you're imagining me as Lori Petty in A League of Their Own." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S13E03)
  • Snowfall Season Grade: B
  • Jim Rome, The Ringer, Dan Patrick (American Vandal, S02E10)
  • American Vandal Season Grade: C
  • Aziz's brother (Forever, S01E03)
  • "I have a fundamental problem with Balderdash." (Maniac, S01E01)


(Maniac, S01E02)

  • "Life is simple as hell until you bring on a partner." (Maniac, S01E05)
  • "Gas up the Miata." (Maniac, S01E06)
  • "I'm going to need at least eight more diamonds to take you to the Lake of the Clouds. The land is very dangerous."
    "That would be extremely painful. I urinate them."
    "[pause] Well…" (Maniac, S01E07)
  • "Please! Blood is highly corrosive to drill bits!" (Maniac, S01E07)


(Maniac, S01E07)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Snowfall
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Who Is America?