I just did your fuckin podcast

on

Are paywalls making us stupider?

If I click on a link to an article and it's behind a paywall, my interest plummets.

I can live without reading beyond one graf…

I saw a Twitter moment about billionaire doomsday bunkers and…

Why not spend money trying to prevent doomsday instead? Wouldn't you rather live out your life anywhere on Earth instead of inside a bunker, no matter how luxurious it is?

We need a reality programme that locks a group of rich people inside a bunker to show rich people the future that they're preparing for, one in which other people have no reason to respect or serve them.

Ankylosing Spondylitis

on

Wikipedia » Dancing with the Stars (U.S. TV series):

Samantha Harris co-hosted seasons two through nine and Brooke Burke-Charvet in seasons ten through seventeen.

In April 2014, Samantha Harris announced that she was diagnosed with breast cancer and would undergo a double mastectomy.

On November 8, 2012, Brooke Burke-Charvet announced she had thyroid cancer and underwent surgery.

Erin Andrews became co-host in season eighteen.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

on


29. Gun with Dick and Jane (Who Is America?, S01E01)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • "Not every time, but once in a while, when we have sex, I want you to urinate on me. Everybody's got a thing, I guess. Right? I like it when you can aim, you know?" (Pose, S01E07)
  • "My demons are not remotely tackled, they're just mildly concussed." (Sharp Objects, S01E02)
  • "I knew a woman in Paris. She did what you do. She was very intelligent."
    […]
    "You know my friend from Paris who was your way? She actually was murdered. It was nothing to do with her being a prostitute, it was to do with a restaurant that went poof." (Succession, S01E07)
  • "I'm a cisgender, white, heterosexual male, for which I apologize." (Who Is America?, S01E01)
  • "I stopped in South Carolina to dine with a couple who suffer from white privilege." (Who Is America?, S01E01)
  • "And so we've started this menstrual flag program, and it's actually sponsored by the Clinton Foundation." (Who Is America?, S01E01)
  • "I've even got a glow in my eye."
    "Yeah, that's some of the cum." (Who Is America?, S01E01)
  • The fine art consultant donating pubic hair (Who Is America?, S01E01)


(Mostly 4 Millennials, S01E05)


Joey BadA$$ (Mostly 4 Millennials, S01E05)

  • "You saw that kid. I mean, what he can do."
    "I'm from New York. I've seen it before. I ever tell you about my friend Misty?" (Cloak and Dagger, S01E08)
  • "Where was I?"
    "Uhh, you was gettin' ready to ruin the rest of the fuckin' movie."
    "Damn right. And he go, 'Say hello to my little friend.' Bang! Boom! Pop! Get him, muhfucka! Boom, man!"
    "Yo, he bad. I seen the shit twice."
    "Yeah, cuz."
    "So he live?"
    "What? Nah, man, everybody in that muhfucka die." (Snowfall, S02E01)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Deuce
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Joe Pera Talks With You

#clipoftheweek

Brazilian Sugaring

on

Viacom must really be struggling to re-use last year's Video Music Awards logo.

I hope the motion graphics package for this year's show is at least different. It's the main reason I still tune in.

Every time I see the trailer for The Darkest Minds, I chuckle at its title card:

Mutants! Revolution! That typography!

And on the other end of the spectrum:

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

on

28. Emoji Focus Group (Mostly 4 Millennials, S01E04)

Honourable Mention

  • Eating Ortolan (Succession, S01E06)
  • Millennial Focus Group (Mostly 4 Millennials, S01E03)

Stray Observations

  • ♫: The Acid – "Ghost" (Sharp Objects, S01E01)
  • ♫: The Acid – "Tumbling Lights" (Sharp Objects, S01E01)
  • "Are you a G-string? No! So stay out of my ass!" (Pose, S01E06)


(Mostly 4 Millennials, S01E03)

  • Danny Bowien (Mostly 4 Millennials, S01E04)
  • "Was that *NSYNC?"
    "So? It still applies."
    "It still applies!" (WWE SmackDown LIVE, 07-10-18)
  • The Handmaid's Tale Season Grade: C
  • ♫: The original Farmer Jack song (Detroiters, S02E05)


(Detroiters, S02E05)

  • "People in the comments section roast you. I mean, they light you up."
    "Like I care what people who watch your tutorials say about me. What is one?"
    "'When did Chucky grow up and get ugly?'"
    "Chucky grow up to get ugly?! Chucky's ugly as a boy! Bad logic! Next!" (Detroiters, S02E05)
  • "It's not making me horny."
    "I'm sorry?"
    "I didn't get any wood. Look. No wood. Flat as a board, you know? Well, that's a piss dot right there. Sometimes when I urine, I don't stop it all the way, and, you know, it comes out on my clothes." (Detroiters, S02E05)
  • "Sam, the last time we sang that song, we were in love."
    "Yeah, we almost got engaged. I put a ring in a piece of cake."
    "I ate the cake."
    "And then, when we went through your stool, there were two diamond rings in there. That's how I knew you were cheating on me." (Detroiters, S02E05)
  • "Ladies and gentlemen, we have genuine wood. Huh?! Look at that! That's a piss dot right there, but it's old." (Detroiters, S02E05)
  • "Whoa, was that Blade?" (Detroiters, S02E05)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Deuce
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Joe Pera Talks With You

#clipoftheweek

Fish, Don't Kill My Vibe

on

Previously on Adam Riff™ (Jul 2012): Ben and I made a Breaking Bad supercut. Enjoy.

Forged in Fire: Knife or Death is a silly History Channel programme in which people try to cut through various things as Bill Goldberg commentates.

One such thing is a hanging fish which contestants must cut through in one swipe.

I made a supercut of contestants failing to do so. Enjoy!

Defend the orb

on

You know how the Paralympics happen after an Olympics in the same host city using the same facilities?

Idea: A second World Cup following a World Cup played by the substitute/bench halves of the 32 World Cup squads – an NIT World Cup.

Olympic Soccer Idea: Instead of a CBI World Cup, three-on-three six-on-six soccer with two goalies in each net.

Premier League Idea: If you incur two red cards in one season, you incur a green card, which forces you to immediately join and play for an MLS team until next EPL season begins. Enough MLS teams exist to pair off with every EPL team for ease of transfer.

Sketch Idea: What if Jim Cantore was Andrés Cantor? Andrés Cantor reporting from a severe weather event. "COOOOOOOOOOOLLLD!!!"

Idea I don't know what to do with: French Montana, an area of Montana that's like Quebec is to Canada.