Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

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13. Martin vs. Seinfeld (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E09)

Honourable Mention

  • Arby's meltdown (Baskets, S01E10)

Stray Observations


(Tyler Perry's The Passion, 03-20-16)

  • RT: Jesus administering communion at the last supper singing "With Arms Wide Open" by Creed (Tyler Perry's The Passion, 03-20-16)
  • RT: Chris Daughtry as Judas singing Evanescence "Wake Me Up Inside" as he decides to sell out Jesus (Tyler Perry's The Passion, 03-20-16)
  • RT: Peter denies Jesus three times while singing Hoobastank's "The Reason" (Tyler Perry's The Passion, 03-20-16)
  • Eugene's distraction (Shameless, S06E14)
  • Carl and Winslow (Shameless, S06E10)
  • "But you haven't even touched your penis!" (The Magicians, S01E10)
  • "What is my dad doing at our front door?"
    "He thinks we're going on a date. I'll get rid of him. Go to your room and close the door."
    "Do not tell me what to do! You are not my mom!" (New Girl, S05E12)
  • "In my defense, I was stoned for most of the '90s, and the 2000s. Full disclosure: I was stoned this morning. I like weed." (New Girl, S05E12)
  • "What is a Seinfeld?" (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E08)
  • "Man, Seinfeld ain't about nothing." (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E08)
  • The cut to O.J. recounting a Seinfeld joke (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E08)
  • "You know how ladies can get." (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E08)
  • ♫: The Folk Implosion – "Natural One" (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E08)
  • "Her husband raped her twice."
    "Actually, it wasn't legally rape in '88. I mean, between a husband and wife."
    "You just said that – out loud." (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E08)
  • "Toughen up, Cochran. This is a smoker's lounge. Daycare's on the first floor." (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E08)
  • "The deputies, they're not fair. The white jurors get better treatment than us. When they took us out shopping, they gave them an hour at Target and only gave us 30 minutes at Ross."
    "Them… Us…?"
    "They know that blacks like Ross more!"
    "Is that true?"
    "Of course it is. Everybody knows that."
    Johnnie: "It's true." (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E08)
  • Susan Beaubian, who plays madam foreman Armanda Cooley, starred as Mrs. Nordberg, wife of O.J. Simpson's Nordberg in the 1988 Naked Gun movie (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E08)
  • "I pray to the Lord sweet baby black Jesus, you put me on hold one more time, negro." (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E08)
  • "I hear you take your coffee black." (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E08)
  • "O.J. tip line." (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E08)
  • RT: He underlined "frame niggers" (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E08)
  • "You have a cute science teacher?" (The Americans, S04E02)
  • Top Chef Gregory (Portlandia, S06E10)
  • Kai Ryssdal (Portlandia, S06E10)
  • Portlandia Season Grade: D-
  • "Is she having a stroke?"
    "No, she's not having a stroke."
    "You should have a stroke…" (Baskets, S01E10)
  • "Responsibility, community, hard work, sliced meats." (Baskets, S01E10)
  • "This is Sebastian. He used to be the nurse to the Chemical Brothers' mother." (Baskets, S01E10)
  • "I found a dead sea turtle in my curly fries." (Baskets, S01E10)
  • "You're Arby's family now, my man, and Arby takes care of his own." (Baskets, S01E10)
  • Odd boxcar green-screening (Baskets, S01E10)
  • Baskets Season Grade: A-

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The People v. O.J. Simpson
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Baskets

Looking ahead:

Dumping Orphan Black.

#clipoftheweek

Eater's Digest: Las Vegas 2

on

Previously on Adam Riff™:


Pretzel Bar (The Buffet at Wynn)
—The best buffet item in all of Las Vegas – confectionery crack.

March 2016
harvest / the buffet at wynn / flock and fowl / portofino / sage / the buffet at wynn / other mama / honey salt / gelato messina / cravings buffet / slo-boy food / zydeco po-boys / the smashed pig / glutton / carson kitchen / the buffet at aria / skinnyfats / rm seafood / the buffet at wynn / herringbone / yonaka modern japanese / tacos el gordo / bacchanal buffet


French Toast and Caviar (Other Mama)
crème fraiche

An oddly pleasant combination.

Togarashi Waffle Fries (Other Mama)
—Like full-bodied Cape Cod Waffle Cut Chips.


Turducken Pot Pie (Carson Kitchen)
buttermilk crumble

Ground turkey, grilled chicken breast, shreds of confit duck legs – plus foie gras.

No longer on the menu, though.


Foie Gras Candy Bar (Sage)
salt and pepper peanut butter cream, bourbon caramel, single-origin milk chocolate

I couldn't discern the foie gras. It's seemingly included just so the restaurant can charge $20 for a candy bar.


Chocolate Bread Pudding (Glutton)
chocolate ganache, candy bar ice cream

Candy bar ice cream > a cherry.


Rick's Tasting Game (RM Seafood)
16 flavours of house made ice cream and sorbet, served blind

You are given vanilla bean, and if you can guess the rest of the flavours correctly, this $18 dessert is free.

I guessed nine correctly, so 10/16.

Three tasted like chocolate. Chocolate, carob, and dark chocolate? A: Nutella, Guinness, and chocolate.

Two tasted like coffee. Coffee and…white coffee? A: Coffee and B&B (Bénédictine and Brandy).

One didn't taste like anything. Some kind of cream-flavoured ice cream? A: Extra virgin olive oil.

C.C.S. [Central Coast Salad] (SLO-Boy Food)
market greens, goat cheddar, beer vinaigrette, charred scallions

Whole charred scallions killed this salad for me. This is what salads are like in San Luis Obispo?

I ordered this salad primarily to try its beer vinaigrette, which tasted like honey mustard.

COCKTAIL CORNER

Martini (Harvest)
smoke and blue cheese infused tito's vodka, mancino secco vermouth, rosemary, blue cheese stuffed olives
—Smoke and blue cheese infused vodka.

Abuelita's Remedy (Oak and Ivy)
stone xocoveza, milagro reposado, ibarra chocolate, topped off with crema de maiz and sprinkled with corn nuts
—Sprinkled with Corn Nuts.

Suzuki Shuzouten Hideyoshi Flying Pegasus Daiginjo (Yonaka Modern Japanese)
—Yours for only $555!

Baklava Sliced (Oak and Ivy)
high west whiskeys, honey-nut infused del professore vermouth, amaro di angostura
—"A cocktail inspired by the great taste of baklava."

SkinnyFATS is located in a nondescript office park in the hinterland, but was packed when I visited, presumably with locals.

Its concept is parallel menus – a skinny menu and a fat one. Each healthy menu item has a corresponding "happy" version.

So instead of ordering this healthy sandwich:


Teriyahi (SkinnyFATS)
seared teriyaki ahi, citrus slaw, spinach, and grilled tomato on sesame crusted 9 grain toast

I opted for its "happy" counterpart:


Filet O Fire (SkinnyFATS)
filet mignon, fried jalapeño, avo pico, jalapeño ranch, on cajun garlic sourdough toast


Hainanese Chicken Rice (Flock and Fowl)
house made ginger scallion sauce, house made chile, house made soy, marinated cucumbers, preserved mustard greens

It's not Nong's khao man gai, but it's good. I appreciate that the chicken is boneless.


Butternut Squash Gnocchi (Portofino)
turkey confit, pickled cranberries, thanksgiving crumble

Thanksgiving dumplings.

"Crab Cake" Arancini (Portofino)
lemon saffron risotto, pesto aioli, fresno pickles
—Fried crab risotto.


Crispy Devilled Eggs (The Smashed Pig)
cornichon

They reminded me of eating a po-boy.


Lamb "Tacos" (The Smashed Pig)
sour cream, sweet pepper chutney

The taco shells are fried eggplant discs.

Carne Asada Taco (Tacos El Gordo)
Cabeza Taco (Tacos El Gordo)

I dug the smokiness of the carne asada, and fuckin' adored the beef head. Best thing I ate in Las Vegas this trip.

Tuna Poke (Herringbone)
yellowfin tuna, shoyu, maui onion, macadamia

Worst thing I ate in Las Vegas this trip. A sodding rip-off at $22. I only ordered it because it's poke served with green onion pancakes. Well, [shocker!] they don't pair well.

The best restaurant I ate at in Las Vegas this trip was Yonaka Modern Japanese.


Toro (Yonaka Modern Japanese)
bluefin tuna belly, walnut, cranberry, negi, piment d'espelette


Machi Ringo (Yonaka Modern Japanese)
yellowtail, apple, fennel, sweet chili zu, negi oil

Terrific riffs on sashimi.


Meat Candy (Yonaka Modern Japanese)
twice cooked caramel glazed kurobuta pork belly, kimchee apple, smoked tofu peanut butter puree

Karaage (Yonaka Modern Japanese)
fried chicken, jalapeno, mint, basil, onion
—Fried chicken with Thai flavours.


Choco 10 Ways (Yonaka Modern Japanese)
chocolate, coffee-nutella ice cream, marshmallow

1. white choco-tofu frozen mousse
2. dehydrated chocolate milk
3. cocoa crumbs
4. choco mint oil
5. choco caramel
6. choco marshmallow
7. espresso choco macaron with Nutella ganache filling
8. candied cocoa nibs
9. choco wafers
10. coffee Nutella ice cream


Red Velvet Nutella Pancake (The Buffet at Aria)

Breakfast Calzone (The Buffet at Aria)

I know, I know. Buffet food? From a mid-tier buffet, no less?! I couldn't believe it either.

The Red Velvet Nutella Pancake is a tire-sized [in diameter] layer cake, served in slices.

Elsewhere in Las Vegas buffets…

1. Why am I seeing unpeeled cocktail shrimp?

2. The Buffet at Wynn has the best fried chicken.

3. To my dismay, The Buffet at Wynn discontinued the best buffet item in all of Las Vegas.

4. The new best buffet item in all of Las Vegas is a Made-to-Order Crepe (Bacchanal Buffet) with Nutella and strawberry sauce.

What is that place? I wondered.

OH. That's that Parisian sex shop-themed fondue restaurant that I read about – F. Pigalle.

OTHER MISSED CONNECTIONS


Bacon Pancake Dippers (MTO Café)
peppercorn maple syrup
—In-pancake bacon.

Breakfast Taquitos (Kitchen Table)
chorizo, potato, roasted chilies, pickled cabbage, avo salsa

Hickory Smoked Chocolate Coffee Cake (Yardbird)
smoked coffee cake, house-made coffee ice cream, chocolate sauce


Braised Duck Jam (Inyo)
drake duck leg "pho flavour" with thai basil, mint, bean sprout salad, and sesame cracker
—Deconstructed pho.

Tostada (Kitchen Table)
suckling pig, black beans, cilantro slaw, salsa, quail egg
—Suckling pig tostada.


(SLO-Boy Food)


Calamari Fries (Glutton)
sriracha mayo, eel sauce, crushed peanuts
—Squid as potatoes.

Octo-Cargot (Inyo)
broiled spanish octopus baked escargot style with garlic, shiro miso, and herb butter panko
—Octopuses as snails.


Tate Ichigo (Yonaka Modern Japanese)
scallops, strawberries, strawberry zu negi oil


Caramel Corn Profiteroles (Glutton)
salted caramel, popcorn ice cream, peanuts
—Popcorn ice cream.


Banana Tiramisu (Yonaka Modern Japanese)
fried latte, brown butter-banana crumble, white espresso latte
—Fried latte.

Chow is a combination Chinese and Southern food restaurant.

#eatersdigest

Guilherme Crabogiale Fuck

on

I spent my afternoon browsing the Hannibal Complete Series Auction.

Everything must go, from Hannibal's Rolodex to a Stuffed Octopus that appeared in a framed photo at a crime scene.

I'm tempted to bid on one of Hannibal's Vinyl Kill Suits, but I don't know what I'd do with a vinyl suit outside of Halloween, and even then, how many people would recognize me as Hannibal?


Someone bid on this.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

on

12. Stairwell Fight (Daredevil, S02E03)

Honourable Mention

  • Mandy/Ian/Lip/Carl (Shameless, S06E09)

Stray Observations

  • "They look sweet, but they're full of farts – just like the kids." (Bob's Burgers, S06E10)
  • "Can I borrow some cotton balls to re-stuff my obesity puppet, Portion Control Joel?" (Bob's Burgers, S06E10)
  • "It's a strain of lice that's evolved to be treatment-resistant. Every time it's not completely destroyed, it comes back even stronger."
    "Like Mark Harmon." (Bob's Burgers, S06E10)
  • "Has there ever been a singer with the last name Brown who didn't hit a girl? Chris, Bobby, James…" (The Carmichael Show, S02E02)
  • "I didn't know all of the words to 'Candle in the Wind,' so in the middle, I switched to 'Rocket Man.'" (The Carmichael Show, S02E03)
  • ♫: Bronze Radio Return – "Where I'm Coming From" (Shameless, S06E09)
  • Chuckie = Kim Bauer (Shameless, S06E09)
  • "Phil Miller got knocked down, and this time, he did not get up again. We raise a whiskey drink, we raise a vodka drink." (The Last Man on Earth, S02E12)
  • RT: how Tandy spent a good 10 seconds tuning the guitar only to use it to tap out a rhythm (The Last Man on Earth, S02E12)
  • Gail pouring a bottle of wine into a Big Gulp (The Last Man on Earth, S02E12)
  • "You're no viking; you're a sucking!" (The Last Man on Earth, S02E12)
  • "I think we might get back together."
    [pause]
    "I have diarrhea. Bye." (The Last Man on Earth, S02E12)
  • "We have this saying in Australia."
    "I know, I know. 'That's not a knife; this is a knife.'" (The Last Man on Earth, S02E12)
  • "How do you fact-check bluster?" (Full Frontal with Samantha Bee, 03-14-16)
  • Norma kissing Norman (Bates Motel, S04E02)


(Bates Motel, S04E02)

"Cece, that sweatshirt has a wine stain on it, and an off-brand Looney Tunes character. George Bunny?" (New Girl, S05E11)

  • "I'm gonna go get some breakfast candy." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S03E19)
  • RT: Marcia said she needed a vacation and Darden invites her to a bar in Oakland? (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E07)
  • RT: o.j. took some penthouses for the road. (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E07)
  • "What are you up to, Bob? Why you be half-steppin'?"
    "I don't know what that means." (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E07)
  • "Put me in, coach!" (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E07)
  • "I hate that we have to support Jack as a family. There are so many other things I'd rather do – learn to use chopsticks, elective toe surgery, watch an episode of Girls…" (Black-ish, S02E17)
  • "I've decided on gazpacho. It's the king of soups."
    "She said 'king of soups'?! Pssh. Kind of salsa…" (Black-ish, S02E17)
  • "I was done cooking for them."
    "Hey, what did you cook?! It was chunky V8, and you know it." (Black-ish, S02E17)
  • Top Chef Season Grade: D
  • "So how many times are you urinating a day?"
    "Like, 12-and-a-half." (Baskets, S01E09)
  • Trump Wine (Baskets, S01E09)
  • "[sigh] I'll try the limited time yellow squirt, please." (Baskets, S01E09)
  • "I asked for a waffle fries, but they look like criss-cut."
    "I think they're the same thing, maybe."
    "Well… Not if you know fries." (Baskets, S01E09)
  • Workaholics Season Grade: F
  • RT: the Irish mafia's dinner literally just being corned beef, cabbage and potatoes. (Daredevil, S02E01)
  • Dogs of Hell? (Daredevil, S02E01)
  • RT: Punisher goes to a seedy, criminal-serving pawn shop… And there's a Potbelly Sandwich joint across the street. (Daredevil, S02E02)
  • Artificial battle in the rain (Daredevil, S02E02)
  • Daredevil Season Grade: D

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The People v. O.J. Simpson
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Baskets

#clipoftheweek