is like milk to you, half-Swedish and half-Asian
Previously on Adam Riff™:
Adam Riff™'s 2022 retrospective festivities conclude with a triptych of playlists.
First, Everything From the Year All at Once, my 19th year-end audio pastiche:
cover art by our mate Jon Wilcox
I finally ditched skits and custom tracks in order to share what I curated in its entirety outside of Adam Riff™ dot com. While a tad less sui generis, I think it still slaps.
[1 hr 50 min]
2. Fast as you can, slam the man (Paul T. Goldman, S01E03)
Honourable Mention
Stray Observations
Previously on Adam Riff™:
—
There was an idea… To bring together a group of disparate people… To see if we could create something more…than a year-end list.
12 people select 10 things they loved from 2022 without any overlap, creating a "best of 2022" list unlike any other.
The League
> What is your Top Gun call sign?
> Which grifter are you?
> Which Taylor Swift era are you?
In randomly-generated snake draft order:
Noelle
Puff > Anna Delvey > 1989
Drew
Catfish > Elizabeth Holmes > Speak Now
DV
Shadow > Simon Leviev > Late Registration
Stan
Soup > Anna Delvey > Folklore + Evermore
Jon B
Horizon > Elizabeth Holmes > Red
Jon Y ‹ commissioner me
Highroller > Adam Neumann > 1989
Jeff
Diablo > Elizabeth Holmes > Folklore + Evermore
Ben
Harvest > Anna Delvey > 1989
Adam
Ashtray > Travis Kalanick > Red
Aaron
Colt > Anna Delvey > Red
Russell
Argus > Travis Kalanick > Reputation
Molly
Vapor > Elizabeth Holmes > Red
Alright.
With the first pick in the 2022 Draft, Noelle selected…
R1 > Noelle
1. Abbott Elementary
R1 > Drew
2. Everything Everywhere All at Once
R1 > DV
3. Barry
R1 > Stan
4. Andor
R1 > Jon B
5. The bedroom kill scene in Terrifier 2
R1 > Jon Y
6. The Rehearsal
R1 > Jeff
7. The Bear (but specifically, "Review")
Jeff: Would have been Andor if it was still available.
Jon: But specifically, "One Way Out"?
R1 > Ben
8. Severance (but specifically, "The We We Are")
R1 > Adam
9. Barbarian
R1 > Aaron
10. Beyoncé's album Renaissance
R1 > Russell
11. The unbroken, 11-minute opening shot of Athena
R1 > Molly
12. Top Gun: Maverick
Molly: Given that Noelle picked Abbott Elementary, can I select Sheryl Lee Ralph's Emmy speech?
Jon: Negative.
R2 > Molly
13. Jenifer Lewis and Molly Shannon in I Love That for You
R2 > Russell
14. This Fool
Adam: Good for This Fool going in the second round.
R2 > Aaron
15. God of War: Ragnarok
R2 > Adam
16. X and Pearl
R2 > Ben
17. The Righteous Gemstones' pukefest cold open
R2 > Jeff
18. Wet Leg
Drew: What the fuck is Wet Leg? I literally have never heard of them. Not even once. This draft is the first time I have ever seen that combination of words.
R2 > Jon Y
19. Atlanta, and Van Lathan's podcasts on each episode
R2 > Jon B
20. The return of Saga
R2 > Stan
21. Naatu Naatu! [from RRR]
Jon: And here I thought RRR could slip to me.
Stan: I was surprised that both my selections were still available where I took them. Truthfully, I wanted to pick something else for 2, but didn't feel like RRR would make it back around.
R2 > DV
22. Bayonetta 3
R2 > Drew
23. Prey
Noelle: Is Atlanta off the board completely?
Jon: As completely as can be. Sorry. 🤷♂️
R2 > Noelle
24. The Woman King
R3 > Noelle
25. Jerrod Carmichael: Rothaniel
Jon: Dammit, this was gonna be my next pick!
Noelle: Sorry. 🤷🏾♀️
Stan: This was the first pick this year I was truly jealous of.
R3 > Drew
26. Gordy's storyline in Nope
Drew: Usually, I wouldn't wanna do three movies in a row, but since there are so many options I like in other categories, secure top movie things now and pivot after.
R3 > DV
27. Smiling Friends
R3 > Stan
28. TÁR's ending reveal
R3 > Jon B
29. Better Call Saul (but specifically, Gene's storyline)
R3 > Jon Y
30. The opening credits of Peacemaker, After Yang, and Pachinko
Adam: Well, fuck. You two [Jons] cooked my next picks.
R3 > Jeff
31. Jon Bernthal's Sergeant Wayne Jenkins in We Own This City
R3 > Ben
32. For All Mankind
R3 > Adam
33. Reservation Dogs (but specifically, Tim Cappello capping the season playing sax)
R3 > Aaron
34. Heartstopper
R3 > Russell
35. The Don't Worry Darling press tour
Stan: GREAT pick.
R3 > Molly
36. John Lithgow and Amy Brenneman's quietly devastating performances in The Old Man
R4 > Molly
37. Hustle
R4 > Russell
38. Toni Collette acting everyone off the screen – and dying repeatedly – in The Staircase
R4 > Aaron
39. Black Panther: Wakanda Forever
R4 > Adam
40. Elon Musk showing his ass
R4 > Ben
41. The Brooklyn Nets, LOL
R4 > Jeff
42. The Sandman: "24/7" and "The Sound of Her Wings"
R4 > Jon Y
43. The end credits of Dashcam, Chainsaw Man, and White Noise
R4 > Jon B
44. Catwoman: Lonely City
R4 > Stan
45. Aaron Chen: If Weren't Filmed, Nobody Would Believe
R4 > DV
46. Attack on Titan
R4 > Drew
47. Desus and Mero's break-up, as a juicy story
R4 > Noelle
48. Rihanna dropping a baby before dropping an album
R5 > Noelle
49. The absolute disaster that was Love Is Blind, and the subsequent relationship fallouts on TikTok
R5 > Drew
50. Connor Ratliff finally landing Tom Hanks for the series finale of Dead Eyes
R5 > DV
51. The Batman
Stan: November 17th – the night we thought Twitter was dying.
Jon: See pick 40.
Stan: Dag, okay.
R5 > Stan
52. Decision to Leave
R5 > Jon B
53. The birthing sequence at the end of Men
R5 > Jon Y
54. Fire of Love
Jeff: Pachinko S01.
Jon: Try again.
R5 > Jeff
55. The Worst Person in the World
R5 > Ben
56. Fred Again..'s Boiler Room set, and his ascent in general
R5 > Adam
57. The Boys' dick explosion
R5 > Aaron
58. Stranger Things introducing Kate Bush to a new generation
R5 > Russell
59. The rise of Goblin Mode
R5 > Molly
60. David Lynch, Judd Hirsch, and Jeannie Berlin in The Fabelmans
Molly: The overdue ascendence to the A list for Keke Palmer.
Jon: Ineligible due to Drew selecting Gordy's storyline in Nope.
Molly: We need to give Keke her due! But fiiiiiiiiiine.
R6 > Molly
61. Normal Gossip
R6 > Russell
62. Vince McMahon going out like that
R6 > Aaron
63. Our Flag Means Death's love and plunder
R6 > Adam
64. The discourse around A.I.-generated art and writing
R6 > Ben
65. Secret Base's Captain Ahab: The Story of Dave Stieb
R6 > Jeff
66. Ambulance! – and the start of Michael Bay's "small budget" era?
R6 > Jon Y
67. Sami Zayn sports entertaining his ass off
R6 > Jon B
68. Deadly Class ending perfectly
R6 > Stan
69. Ethel Cain's album Preacher's Daughter
R6 > DV
70. Elden Ring
R6 > Drew
71. Andrew Garfield in Under the Banner of Heaven
R6 > Noelle
72. Draymond Green's blunt-rolling station at his wedding
Noelle: No, I did it first in 2016, lol.
R7 > Noelle
73. Corn Kid
R7 > Drew
74. House of the Dragon making everyone generally okay with incest
R7 > DV
75. Ramy
R7 > Stan
76. Amanda Seyfried dancing to "How to Love" by Lil Wayne in The Dropout
R7 > Jon B
77. Ryan Browne's backgrounds for Eight Billion Genies
Adam: It was my next pick. Fuuuuu.
R7 > Jon Y
78. Matt Berry's pronunciation of "New York City" on What We Do in the Shadows
R7 > Jeff
79. The White Lotus
Hey @DrOz 👋
JERSEY loves you + will not forget you!!! 🥰 pic.twitter.com/YmaXfMpzUK
— John Fetterman (@JohnFetterman) July 14, 2022
R7 > Ben
80. John Fetterman's masterful social media campaign
R7 > Adam
81. Winning Time: The Rise of the Lakers Dynasty's kinetic video and film emulation switching
R7 > Aaron
82. A League of Their Own
R7 > Russell
83. Seth Green's NFT ape being stolen and sold to someone else, jeopardizing the television show it was set to star in
R7 > Molly
84. Somebody Somewhere
R8 > Molly
85. Jennifer Lopez's performance of "Church" in Marry Me
R8 > Russell
86. Austin Butler ripping it in Elvis' "If I Can Dream – '68 Comeback Special" sequence
R8 > Aaron
87. Tinykin
R8 > Adam
88. The collapse of Sam Bankman-Fried's crypto empire
Ben: Ahhh FTX went right before me.
R8 > Ben
89. Taylor Hawkins' son Shane playing "My Hero" with Foo Fighters at Wembley Stadium
R8 > Jeff
90. Horsegirl's album Versions of Modern Performance
R8 > Jon Y
91. Tunic
R8 > Jon B
92. Grand Crew
R8 > Stan
93. Vince Staples' album Ramona Park Broke My Heart
R8 > DV
94. Viola Davis' Michelle Obama on The First Lady
R8 > Drew
95. Reacher
R8 > Noelle
96. "Tití Me Preguntó" by Bad Bunny
Noelle: Let the record show that I wanted this pick to be Tanya falling off that damn boat instead of taking the stairs.
Noelle: ChatGPT and our impending doom.
Jon: See pick 64.
Noelle: Gahhh okay!
R9 > Noelle
97. Bad Sisters
R9 > Drew
98. Pusha T's album It's Almost Dry
R9 > DV
99. My Chemical Romance reunited
R9 > Stan
100. Aftersun
R9 > Jon B
101. The "sonic catering" in Flux Gourmet
R9 > Jon Y
102. J.I.D.'s album The Forever Story
R9 > Jeff
103. Alvvays' album Blue Rev
R9 > Ben
104. The Banshees of Inisherin
R9 > Adam
105. On Cinema
R9 > Aaron
106. Wordle's brief world domination
R9 > Russell
107. Industry
R9 > Molly
108. Fire Island
Final Round Wild Card Pick
Along with your final pick, please select something from 2022 that you have yet to experience as of 16 December 2022 but are keen on.
R10 • Molly
109. Good Luck to You, Leo Grande
+ Women Talking
R10 • Russell
110. Brian Windhorst's cryptic Utah Jazz report
R10 • Aaron
111. Bros
+ I Wanna Dance with Somebody
R10 • Adam
112. Soul Glo's album Diaspora Problems
+ Adult Swim Yule Log / The Fire Place
R10 • Ben
113. "Past Life" by Arkells and Cold War Kids
+ Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery
R10 • Jeff
114. Station Eleven: "Unbroken Circle"
+ Babylon
R10 • Jon Y
115. The chess grandmaster anal bead conspiracy
+ Alice in Borderland
R10 • Jon B
116. Rogues
+ Something in the Dirt
R10 • Stan
117. Slow Horses
+ Return to Seoul
R10 • DV
118. Elmo's unhinged rant about Rocco
+ Mob Psycho 100
R10 • Drew
119. Kamala's family in Ms. Marvel
+ Emily in Paris
Jon: I feel like you pick Emily in Paris every year.
Drew: Did I pick it previously? If I did, goddamn right.
Jon: You picked season one…
Drew: I'm the Osiris of this shit.
Jon: And I coulda sworn you picked season two last year.
Drew: I regret that I didn't.
R10 • Noelle
120. Will Smith slapping Chris Rock and winning an Oscar 10 minutes later
+ Kindred
Undrafted!
Aaron Judge
The Acclaimed
Avatar: The Way of Water
Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers
Confess, Fletch
Dream's face reveal
"Emmanuel, don't do it"
Euphoria
GloRilla
Horizon: Forbidden West
Ice Spice
___ is him
Kai Cenat
Kendrick Lamar
Lionel Messi
LIV Golf
The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power
Marvel Snap
Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story
Morbius
Neon White
Pickleball
Pink Sauce
Pokémon Legends: Arceus
Rizz
She-Hulk: Attorney at Law
Smile
Spy x Family
Steve Lacy
Stray
Swedengate
Wednesday
When We Were Young festival
1. Q Family (This Place Rules)
Stray Observations
Looking forward:
Previously on Adam Riff™:
1. The Real World Homecoming: Los Angeles
2. Monday Night Football
3. Peacemaker
4. The Righteous Gemstones
5. The Afterparty
6. Pam and Tommy
7. The 2022 NBA All-Star Game Draft Show
8. jeen-yuhs: A Kanye Trilogy
9. Euphoria
10. Wheel of Fortune
11. Bust Down
12. Minx
13. Severance
14. The 94th Academy Awards
15. WWE WrestleMania 38
16. Tokyo Vice
17. The First Lady
18. 365 Days: This Day
19. Outer Range
20. Atlanta
21. Jackass 4.5
22. That Damn Michael Che
23. The Boys
24. Girls5eva
25. Obi-Wan Kenobi
26. Flatbush Misdemeanors
27. WWE Friday Night SmackDown
28. Only Murders in the Building
29. The Rehearsal
30. The Rehearsal
31. Paper Girls
32. What We Do in the Shadows
33. This Fool
34. The Rehearsal
35. Chad and JT Go Deep
36. What We Do in the Shadows
37. A League of Their Own
38. Reservation Dogs
39. Best in Dough
40. Ramy
41. Welcome to Wrexham
42. She-Hulk: Attorney at Law
43. House of the Dragon
44. Chucky
45. Andor
46. Andor
47. Chucky
48. Chainsaw Man
49. Saturday Night Live
50. Ziwe
51. The White Lotus
52. Cotillionaires: Chicago (South Side, S03E05)
Stray Observations
Previously on Adam Riff™:
'Twas a year of vibes more than skill.
10. Reva vs. Darth Vader • Obi-Wan Kenobi
9. Gloria vs. Property Brother Drew • Girls5eva
8. Weird Al vs. Pablo Escobar's Goons • Weird: The Al Yankovic Story
7. Dream vs. Lucifer • The Sandman
6. Doctor Strange vs. Sinister Strange • Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness
5. Dan vs. CIA Agent • The Old Man
4. Waymond vs. Security Guards • Everything Everywhere All at Once
3. Carter vs. Bathhouse • Carter
2. Mike vs. Oyumi • Accident Man: Hitman's Holiday
1. Bheem vs. Ram • RRR
51. Overboard (The White Lotus, S02E07)
Stray Observations
PIÑATA MASTERS! (NETFLIX)
Premieres Friday, December 23DESCRIPTION:
Which of seven competing teams will be the Piñata Heroes? Their piñatas must be colorful and creative, and impress the picky judges: a group of kids!
If we're not out of ideas for competition series, then we're very close.
related:
COURT 17
An over-the-hill tennis pro, trying to salvage her career, finds herself stuck playing the first round of the US Open over and over again against one of the top players in the world. The only way to stop the loop is to win the match.
BABY BOOM
When her sister's gender reveal party triggers the apocalypse, a woman and her husband have to prove to themselves, and the world, that they're responsible enough to save it.
VIVA MEXICO
When a washed-up superhero gets betrayed by a Mexican government, he must lead a populist social movement to fight the Narcos, topple the government, and free the people.
THE AMERICANO
An everyday guy who accidentally starts working as a barista inside the CIA headquarters building gets lured into a spy mission by a beautiful secret agent, known only to him as Caramel Macchiato.
SUBVERSION
When her family is abducted, a disgraced submariner must pilot a narco submarine to its destination in less than eight hours or her husband and daughter will be killed.
TOTAL LANDSCAPING
A day in the life of the employees of Four Seasons Total Landscaping and its neighboring businesses on November 7th, 2020.
POPULAR
GOP strategist Lee Atwater won the presidency for George H.W. Bush in 1988, and his campaign changed politics forever–and gave him the worst reputation in America. Now, Lee is on his deathbed, and he needs to tell God his side of the story…before it's too late.
WHO MADE THE POTATO SALAD?
A family's Christmas dinner goes awry when a xenomorphic demon starts to duplicate and imitate each member of the family. What does it want? To show them their greatest fears.
AN OAKLAND HOLIDAY
When a neglected and lonely Southeast Asian Princess goes undercover in an Oakland high school to live out her dream of being a normal teen, she discovers that happy endings come with many hard lessons about life, love, and humility.
WILDFIRE
After accidentally starting a wildfire, 7-year-old Lu, mute and from an abusive home, slyly tricks Merribelle, a hardworking trans woman, into kidnapping her – sparking a beautifully unexpected bond with a devastating expiration date.
MARRIAGE BRACKET
Ten years after a group of girlfriends bet on which of them would be the last to get married, their adult lives and relationships are completely upended when they discover the $80 they drunkenly invested in Bitcoin is now worth $5.2 million.
Morgan English was sitting on the fire escape in her Portland State University apartment, smoking weed, when she felt a pull toward a stationary bicycle.
[pause]
English owns and teaches classes for Stoned+Toned, a fitness company that blends cannabis and fitness in pursuit of community and a more pleasurable workout.
The Los Angeles-based company is among those betting big on the legal cannabis boom bringing fitness along. San Francisco is home to a "cannabis gym" that encourages visitors to light up and lift. A "Pelostoned" Facebook group has thousands of members who smoke cannabis and ride their stationary bikes.
Prerecorded classes, which range from yoga to Pilates to cycling, begin with an introduction: what the instructor is smoking, and why.
Instructors then take a hit of weed — hand-selected strains sold in local dispensaries paired with each class — and smoke on and off throughout the warmup.
The exercise, [English] said, isn't mandatory.
"If you want to lay on your mat or go grab a slice of pizza, you can do that."
"When I used cannabis in my workouts, I would find less inhibition to try something that looked really hard," Clark said. "There are some instructors that do a lot of squatting and a lot of leg-heavy movement, and without cannabis I might approach it like, 'That’s too hard, I can't do that.'"
related:
50. NFT adverts / Blake Griffin (Ziwe, S02E09)
Stray Observations
(Rick and Morty, S06E09)