Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

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43. Single Take Prison Break (Daredevil, S03E04)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • "Those Who Can, Dle Candles" (Bob's Burgers, S09E04)
  • "Money is just candy that hasn't been born yet." (Bob's Burgers, S09E04)
  • "Who are you dressed as?"
    "I'm Andre 3000 the Giant."
    "Oh, so fresh and so Gene. Who are you, Louise?"
    "I'm a dragon with a girl tattoo." (Bob's Burgers, S09E04)
  • "Who are you dressed as, by the way?"
    "Paul Rudd in I Love You, Man."
    "Oh. It's, um…"
    "Iconic? Yeah." (Bob's Burgers, S09E04)
  • "There's a gorilla in our midst!" (Bob's Burgers, S09E04)
  • "We are a family who loves from afar."
    "But loving others from afar means what they give you in return is always at a distance." (Kidding, S01E07)
  • "You know, I had the best blow job of my life on the bullet train to Kyoto. Sucky, sucky. Train, train." (Kidding, S01E07)
  • "There's no chemo for dengue!" (Kidding, S01E07)


(Kidding, S01E07)

  • "Should I be continuing to home palpate?" (Camping, S01E02)
  • "Who sends you black emojis?" (Camping, S01E02)
  • "And by the way, I boom-opped the Robert Downey Jr. episodes of Ally McBeal, so I'm pretty sure I know what drug withdrawal looks like." (Camping, S01E02)
  • Pixel 3 Top Shot product placement (Black-ish, S05E02)
  • "I suppose, for you, taking a shit is a form of reproduction." (American Horror Story: Apocalypse, S08E07)
  • "Hey, Mac! I'm going through your stuff! I got your…sticky Bible!" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S13E08)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Snowfall
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Who Is America?

Eater's Digest: Toronto 5

on

Previously on Adam Riff™:

September 2018
ku-kum / feasTO / resto boemo / short and sweet / death in venice / dufflet pastries / omaw / aloette / chubby's jamaican / richmond station / hanmoto / soso food club / general assembly pizza / bar isabel / fargo's snack bar / bake shoppe / patois / le gourmand / pow wow cafe / yogen früz / big smoke burger / pinky's ca phe / egg bae / white lily diner / wong's ice cream / pinkerton's snack bar / kanpai / r&d

(Ku-kum) serves Indigenous food.


Seal Trio (Ku-kum)
pan-seared seal loin, seal tartare, and seal paté; served with a bannock crostini and house-made preserves

^ I should've just ordered the Seared Seal Loin entrée. The texture of the seal tartare was bizarre, and the seal paté was unpalatable.


Venison Gravlax (Ku-kum)
herb-rubbed venison loin with fresh heirloom tomatoes, drizzled with sweetgrass oil

^ Fine, but gravlax-ing meat doesn't work as well as pastrami-ing fish.

Wild Terrine, Mousse, and Rillette Trio (Ku-kum)
chef selection served with warm baked bannock
—Red deer and elk terrine, rabbit liver mousse, boar and rabbit rillette.

Pine Needle Tea (Ku-kum)

Scone Dog (Pow Wow Cafe)
cranberry mustard, sage ketchup
—An Indigenous corn dog. The scone/batter is bannock.

(Pow Wow Cafe) is known for its Ojibway-style Indigenous tacos, which substitute
bannock for tortillas.


Beef Chili Taco (Pow Wow Cafe)
cumin sour cream

^ It's more of a pile of food that tastes like Taco Bell.


Hot Turkey or Club (White Lily Diner)
smoked turkey, "stuffing" french toast, rhubarb chutney, gravy, butter

^ Anemically Thanksgiving-y.

Seaside Bae Sandwich (Egg Bae)
soft scrambled eggs, house-cured citrus pepper salmon, potato chips, pickled shallots, arugula, herbed mayo
—Canadian (Eggslut).

Boemo Double B Burger (Resto Boemo)
—Named Toronto's best new burger of 2018. [shrugs]

Aloette Burger and Fries (Aloette)
beaufort cheese, onion, lettuce, pickle
—The runner-up for Toronto's best new burger of 2018. Did we eat the same burgers?


Iceberg Wedge (Aloette)
chive cream, avocado, parmesan, wild rice

^ I did not expect to love this.


Tuna Tartare (Aloette)
green goddess, yuzu kosho, rice pearls, lime


Agnolotti (Aloette)
ricotta, manila clam, smoked butter, potato

Mac and Cheese (R&D)
satay sauce, smoked cheddar, indonesian breadcrumb
—I couldn't pinpoint its Southeast Asian flavour.

Lamb Biang Biang Noodles (SoSo Food Club)
xi'an house-made spinach noodles with new zealand lamb shoulder in chili cumin spice mix
—The closest I have found to matching the godlike N1 at (Xi'an Famous Foods) in New York City.

Jerk Chicken Chow Mein (Patois)
crispy egg noodles, pulled jerk chicken, shiitake, bok choy, oyster sauce
—Mediocre on both fronts.

Jerk Chicken Poutine (Fargo's Snack Bar)
—I am not surprised that (Fargo's Snack Bar) has since closed.

Jerk Chicken (Chubby's Jamaican)
chubby's slaw
—Good clean slaw.

Spicy Jerk Chips (Chubby's Jamaican)
plantain, taro, jerk spice dust
—Deceptively plain-looking.

Curried Lamb Bun (OMAW)
mustard, pickles


Rutabaga (OMAW)
coffee granola, basil, sunflower

^ A vegetarian fever dream.


Squid (OMAW)
green tomato, peanut mayo, scallion

^ Fried calamari sui generis.


Hanger Steak (OMAW)
tallow, broken rice, ginger/scallion

^ The best thing I ate in Toronto this trip.


Hawker Centre (Richmond Station)
milk tea ganache, fish sauce rocks, pandan coconut sorbet, barley granita

^ I could have used another dry element.


Better Than Sundae (Chubby's Jamaican)
coconut sorbet, rum caramel, banana cotton cake, candied cashews, sugar cone tuile, guava gel


Banana Cake (OMAW)
cocoa nibs, jasmine tea


Chewy Chocolate Loaf (Short and Sweet)
cocoa crumble

^ I wish bread featuring chocolate was more widely available.

Neapolitan Ice Cream-Inspired Bread Pudding (Egg Bae)
—I think it was a vanilla bread pudding with chocolate and strawberries?

Black Sesame with Salted Duck Egg Cookie (Wong's Ice Cream)
—Maddeningly crumbly.

White Rabbit Candy Ice Cream (Wong's Ice Cream)
Ovaltine Ice Cream (Wong's Ice Cream)

Toasted Ramen Miso Ice Cream (Wong's Ice Cream)
—Miso ice cream with bits of toasted ramen for crunch.

Corn on the Cob Gelato (Death in Venice)

Previously on Adam Riff™ [Oct 2013]:
(Oddseoul) was the best place I ate at in Toronto.

(Hanmoto) is (Oddseoul)'s Japanese sister snack bar.


Miso Ice Cream (Hanmoto)
condensed milk base flavoured with sweet white miso then decorated with nori powder and crunchy puffed rice balls


Moto Eggs (Hanmoto)
chicken skin chips, ikura, pickled chilies, nori powder

^ Devired eggs.


Surf n' Turf Handroll (Hanmoto)
steak tartare, tako wasabi, shiso, japanese hickory sticks, quail egg yolk

^ Raw beef, octopus, and egg.


Dyno Wings (Hanmoto)
pork dumpling-stuffed chicken wings, tare

(Pinky's Ca Phe) is (Oddseoul) and (Hanmoto)'s Vietnamese/Cambodian sister snack bar.


Marrow Beef (Pinky's Ca Phe)
cilantro, shiso, fried garlic and shallots, sweet soy and pat chun vinegar reduction

^ A play on butter beef.

Pho Beef Dip (Pinky's Ca Phe)
shaved beef brisket, asiago, bean sprouts, thai basil, red onions, cilantro, hoisin, sriracha
—A play on a French dip. The cheese in the sandwich turned me off.


The Grill Platter (Pinky's Ca Phe)
chicken legs, charcoal-smoked and -grilled, lemongrass marinade; pork jowl, charcoal-grilled, lemongrass marinade; luc-lac beef short ribs, charcoal-grilled, black pepper and hoisin sauce marinade

(Pinkerton's Snack Bar) is unrelated to (Oddseoul), (Hanmoto), and (Pinky's Ca Phe).


Laab-Style Beef Tartare (Pinkerton's Snack Bar)
cassava, lotus, quail's yolk

^ Asian-ish beef tartares typically miss for me, but this one hit big.


Pork Neck Pancake (Pinkerton's Snack Bar)
sticky braised pork on kimchi chijimi, scallions, chili, candied peanut


Korean Meatball Ssam (Pinkerton's Snack Bar)
rice, ginger, scallion sauce, gochujang, pickles, lettuce

^ An odd hybrid of ssam and khao man gai.

Sous-Vide Espresso Cheesecake (Pinkerton's Snack Bar)
dark chocolate, shortbread

MISSED CONNECTIONS

Quesadilla Americana (Grand Electric)
beef cheek, mayonesa mexicana, avocado salsa verde, lettuce, sesame

Popcorn Sud Sud (Little Khao)
butter, caramel, corn, chilli


Reyna's Famous Lamb Baklava (Reyna)
kataifi, lamb shank, saffron, burnt honey aioli

Silken Tofu Guacamole (Cold Tea)
avocado, green sauce, taro chips, nori powder


Banh Xeo Broccoli (Pinky's Ca Phe)
smoked oyster aioli, shiso, cilantro

Bae Don't Kale My Vibe Sandwich (Egg Bae)
fried egg, chunky avocado, kale, slow-cooked onions, muenster cheese, fried tofu, bae sauce


(Canteen)

Golden Melon Hot Chocolate (Eative Film Cafe)
golden melon purée, homemade chocolate, ice

Pine Needle Sorbet (Ku-Kum)

Pushing 40 in the friend zone

on

Erm…

Pretending to support your son's jet skiing aspiration to get him out of your hair.

Then what?

Billy is humbled on the Pro Jet Ski Tour and, when his father doesn't seem to care at all if he makes it or not, bonds with his father over being dicks to people.

Convincing your daughter that she has to protect a baby from zombies to get her out of your hair.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

on

42. It's Sometimes Seinfeld in Philadelphia (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S13E07)

Honourable Mention

  • Stugutz (The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz, 10-15-18)

Stray Observations

  • "Wooden, yet cuddly. Step aside, Josh Hartnett." (Bob's Burgers, S09E03)
  • Ian + Mickey + Frank Ocean (Shameless, S09E06)
  • "I work with my sister too, Sara."
    "Oh, it's 'Sah-rah.' Tara does not like me to rhyme." (Kidding, S01E06)
  • "I defeated Michel Kwan."
    "Oh, I've heard of her."
    "No, you haven't. He's 47 and French." (Kidding, S01E06)
  • "That's our parakeet, Tara-keet."
    "She says 'our,' but I was the one that rescued you from that pet store." (Kidding, S01E06)
  • ♫: Bauhaus (Kidding, S01E06)
  • "Am I an alligator?"
    "I don't know what you are."
    [William Hurt]
    "Oh, uh, um, uh, I was in Children of a Lesser God and The Doctor. Um, Damages season two?" (Camping, S01E01)
  • "Do you want me to have a dysfunctional pelvic floor the whole of your birthday weekend?" (Camping, S01E01)
  • "Oh, shit! Ronan Farrow!" (South Park, S22E04)
  • "Sorry, you got me at a bad time. I'm busy."
    "You're dead. What do you have to do?"
    "I got to look out the window and cry while I masturbate. It's my daily thing." (American Horror Story: Apocalypse, S08E06)
  • Censoring "retarded" but not "fuck" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S13E07)
  • "We can't even just sit around having memories without things getting out of hand."
    "Well, at least we're not being lazy, right? We're coming up with new stuff." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S13E07)
  • RT: Kevin Garvey Sr. once visited Sydney and "this hippie with a red headband walks right up to me and says, 'Do you wanna talk to God?'" Which is exactly what happens to Chidi in the park before the sprinklers go off. (The Good Place, S03E05)
  • "A complete account of every single thing we've done and learned."
    "I added all the data we've gathered here on Earth in chart and graph form, and I added a pretty tasty little recipe for cinnamon rolls made out of pizza dough." (The Good Place, S03E05)
  • "Hey, nice Carmen Sandiego sleeping bag."
    "Actually, it's a knock-off."
    "Oh, Miranda Sanfrancisco."
    "My mom bought it at the 99 cent store that also sells milk." (Big Mouth, S02E08)
  • "Sacramento can eat its own ass." (Big Mouth, S02E08)
  • "Um, what's that duct tape trash bag next to your stuff?"
    "Oh, that's my sleeping bag. It doubles as a car window." (Big Mouth, S02E08)
  • "If you can look up at the sky, there are many constellations visible tonight."
    "And also, as a teacher who wants to speak, I will say the stars are just like us. I heard that from the gas pump TV, but don't drink the gas, kids, 'cause it's expensive." (Big Mouth, S02E08)
  • "You know how I can tell when you're lying? You look like Mitch McConnell." (Big Mouth, S02E08)
  • "You truly are an enigma."
    "You're not supposed to say that word anymore." (Big Mouth, S02E09)
  • "These girls are hot, but they smell like herring and dark bread. You got to kiss somebody else to get the dark bread taste out of your mouth." (Big Mouth, S02E09)
  • "He called you a gigantic jizz creep."
    "Well, maybe he's right, maybe I am. I mean, look at me."
    "Hey, man, you look great. Women are into soggy guys. Says so right here in Soggy Guy Monthly." (Big Mouth, S02E09)
  • Big Mouth Season Grade: D

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Snowfall
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Who Is America?

My presence alone can exterminate masses

on

A Davis high school student allegedly baked her grandfather's ashes into a batch of sugar cookies and gave them to classmates, some of whom were aware they contained human remains before they ate them, authorities said Tuesday.

Andy Knox, a student at the school, told KCRA-TV that he was just about to go into his environmental science class when a girl in the same class offered him a cookie. When she told him there was a special ingredient, he assumed it was marijuana.

"I didn't believe her until she pulled out the urn," he said.

Knox said that the cookie didn't taste unusual but "if you ever ate sand as a kid, you know, you can kind of feel it crunching in between your teeth. So, there was a little tiny bit of that."

I mean, sure…

You like dinosaurs? Have a lava-coloured candy bracelet.

Jurassic World-branded ring pops are at least shaped like claws.

Squeeyore.

Intrepi-glet?

Tsundoku

on

That's Jonas Jerebko's bed?

How tall is he?

6'10".

MAREE designs and creates the world's largest luxury beds.

OUR CLIENTS
Zaza Pachulia
Ilya Kovalchuk
Plaxico Burress
Jonathan Papelbon
Hulk Hogan

When Kevin Love is too depressed to get out of his massive bed.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

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41. Springfield for Hitler (South Park, S22E03)

Stray Observations

  • "Whoa! A secret arcade."
    "It's exactly how I always imagined Craig Kilborn's garage." (Bob's Burgers, S09E02)
  • "The only way to knock over Family Funtime is to do it in one shot. Hit 'em before they know what hit 'em."
    "Like a bris." (Bob's Burgers, S09E02)
  • "I have saved the whales. I have saved the children. Your sister started a school in Belize for girls with Belizean problems." (Kidding, S01E05)
  • "You're good at the quiet arts, like conveying disdain." (Kidding, S01E05)
  • Better Call Saul Season Grade: C
  • Mr. Inbetween Season Grade: C
  • "Time and time again, history has shown the hubris of men knows no bounds. Have we learned nothing from Attila the Hun, Herod the Great…Mark Zuckerberg?!" (American Horror Story: Apocalypse, S08E05)
  • "No, there's also pictures of roadkill and roast beef sandwiches to accurately depict what a vagina looks like." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S13E06)
  • "Yeah, but are you more gay than you are Catholic?"
    "I don't know. They're at war." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S13E06)
  • "As far as I can tell, the whole floor is abandoned. What do they use it for? Storage?"
    "No, this is the journalism department." (The Good Place, S03E04)
  • "Okay, so you can write off Borderlands and Assassin's Creed, but these other ones, I don't know, it's too much." (The Romanoffs, S01E02)
  • ♫: Kendrick Lamar – "DNA" (The Romanoffs, S01E02)
  • ♫: Cake – "I Will Survive" (The Romanoffs, S01E02)
  • "What do I do in the future?"
    "You're a TV personality Nick Star, of course, and you have your own show on Nitflax. It's a cartoon about how you rocked as a kid."
    "And do I like it?"
    "You don't mind it, although you'd like to do more dramatic roles."
    "How come?"
    "I don't know. It's a pure ego thing." (Big Mouth, S02E06)
  • "Yeah, I'll have two scoops of that white shit he was talking about." (Big Mouth, S02E06)
  • "Okay, if it's Greg's, why are you wearing it?"
    "To warm it up."
    "What?"
    "You know when you put on a fresh locket, and it's just too darn cold on your skin?" (Big Mouth, S02E07)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Snowfall
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Who Is America?