Adam Riff™

20. Tom and Shiv Clear the Air (Succession, S04E07)

Stray Observations

(Succession, S04E07)

• "And they want what? ATN to go full 'we're coming to give your guns hormone therapy, all your guns are gonna be ladies'?" (Succession, S04E07)
• "Oman? Poor man's Saudi Arabia or rich man's Yemen?" (Succession, S04E07)
• "Point his dick in the direction of some fissile material. Yeah?" (Succession, S04E07)
• "I'm with you because I love you!"
  "Bullshit! You're fucking me for my DNA." (Succession, S04E07)
• "I joined after dissolving a subscription horse meat business I started with my brother-in-law." (Yellowjackets, S02E06)
• "It's a bunch of granola losers, but the food is great, and the BO factor is surprisingly low." (Yellowjackets, S02E06)

(Barry, S04E05)

» "Uncanny Pictures Releases Teaser for First All AI Generated Feature Length Film, 'Written, Created, and Produced Complete With AI,' Says Studio Head" (Barry, S04E05)

• "'Stairway to Heaven' is a glorified fingering exercise, and you all know it!" (Ted Lasso, S03E09)
• "Coach, did you just compare being gay to being a Denver Broncos fan?" (Ted Lasso, S03E09)
• "Bro. Come on, man. [scoffs]"
  "Oh, yeah. I will come on. I'm gonna come on strong."
  "Bro…"
  "I'm gonna come on myself when I nut on myself."
  "[quietly] Tell me to suck the pepper spray."
  "What?"
  "Tell— Tell me to suck the pepper spray."
  "[growls] I'm gonna make you suck the pepper spray!" (Dave, S03E07)
• "And I don't have work today since I quit my meaningless job, so let's go ahead and make those bottomless."
  "The nachos?" (The Other Two, S03E03)
• "Ellen is throwing herself a big birthday bash and has agreed not to go so people can enjoy it." (The Other Two, S03E03)
• "Unfortunately, they went with Dylan O'Brien."
  "What? Fucking O'Brien." (The Other Two, S03E03)
• "What did DaBaby do?" (The Other Two, S03E03)
• "I can't even fucking believe I still gotta audition. I'm the fucking Maze Runner, bro." (The Other Two, S03E03)
• "Cary? Oh, thank God it's you. It's not Ellen. We're fine." (The Other Two, S03E03)
• "This is a sitcom pilot for Paramount+, so we're seeing tons of no-names." (The Other Two, S03E03)
• "Uh, Julia, tell Brooke what you learned senior year, spring break of college."
  "That Emile Hirsch's dick is wonk?"
  [harp plays] (The Other Two, S03E03)
• "Go ahead, Pat. Tell her what you did to us."
  "I drugged them with tea."
  "And because of that, now what happened?"
  "I have a general with JoJo Siwa." (The Other Two, S03E03)

(The Other Two, S03E03)

• "Is that?"
  "Is what?"
  "Are you quoting the speech from, uh, Miracle?"
  "I'm not quoting anything. That's a 100% JQ original."
  "It s-sounds like Miracle."
  "Fuck you! Shut the fuck up!" (Mrs. Davis, S01E07)
• Daveed (Blindspotting, S02E06)
• "Fuck the police." (Blindspotting, S02E06)
• "I once rode naked in teeming rain in circles outside Peter the Great's windows, singing bawdy folk songs, hoping he would look out."
  "Did he?"
  "He did, and I rode three more hours waiting for him to emerge."
  "And did he?"
  "Not that day, but I got pneumonia, and while I was convalescing, he came to me, and I gave him a hand job as he fed me soup. It was so tender." (The Great, S03E01)
• "You fired something in me, and when I look at you now, I must have you again. I suggest immediately, and possibly hourly after that."
  "Well, flattered, of course, but I really keep things like that on a high rotation. A man, then a woman, two men and a woman, then something with wood. My own hand, in a forest setting, an unwilling guard, and a serf touching themselves as I eat cake. Maybe in a month or two, sweep my feet from under me and demand my compliance with some hair pulling and a tongue dipped in black opium, and we have a deal."
  "I may be deeply in love."
  "Not something I do." (The Great, S03E01)
• "Her love betrayed her, her best friend lied to her, her team abandoned her, her philosophy broke in a Turkish blood spray, and her reason collapsed under the weight of it all. Her optimism, her arrogance, her belief in humans as good."
  "Well, she did describe it as a bad day." (The Great, S03E01)
• "What if she dies? Tatyana? My kids are fucking annoying. I don't wanna have to bring them up." (The Great, S03E01)
• "'The price of love is grief.' My wife used to say that. I used to think it was a personal attack, but now I think she meant it more generally. Most of her attacks were, in fact, physical rather than metaphoric." (The Great, S03E01)
• "I wasn't escaping. Th-there was some bramble on the path I was avoiding. In an L-shaped movement." (The Great, S03E01)
• "Champagne with a twist of lemon for you. A negroni with cheese curds in it for you." (The Great, S03E01)
• "So he gets forgiven, and I don't."
  "He is my fate. You are my choice." (The Great, S03E01)
• "Your mother has a silver tongue, Paul. As do I, in both wit and on clit." (The Great, S03E01)
• ♫: Wet Leg – "Being in Love" (The Great, S03E01)
• "The American ambassador is here. I mean, they're not a country, so what the fuck is he doing calling himself that? 'A guy from America is here' might be better." (The Great, S03E02)
• "Gambling, coffee, Bloody Mary-infused foie gras." (The Great, S03E02)
• "We in the USA love passion. A fuck, a fight, a fortune, life!"
  "Suck the marrow!"
  "Great idea. Roast some marrow, and I shall lemon-salt it." (The Great, S03E02)
• "No, you can't fuck England over for a fucking colony of upstarts who apparently eat tubes of undefined meat product in bread on the street." (The Great, S03E02)
• "Oh, we're changing everything, my friend, including how you spell 'colour.'"
  "You wouldn't dare."
  "We're taking the 'U' out of it. Rumor, tumor, and humor. No 'U,' just us." (The Great, S03E02)
• "Oh, Jesus Christ. I'm not praying, relax." (The Great, S03E02)
• "'Color'? Motherfucking animals." (The Great, S03E02)
• "Hey, you have three nipples."
  "Royal blood, thins at the top." (The Great, S03E03)
• "No murder? You did come out strong."
  "Attacked our greatest and most loved pastime." (The Great, S03E03)
• "Remember, there is only now, and now is us, fizzing drinks and fucking horses." (The Great, S03E03)
• "Nature: All the questions and all the answers in a delightfully chaotic form." (The Great, S03E03)
• "You thinking throat or heart?"
  "I'd always imagined eye whenever I thought about it."
  "Eye. Nice. You see the startle close up." (The Great, S03E03)
• ♫: The Streets – "Double Vision" (The Great, S03E03)
• "I'm torn."
  "How so?"
  "I want to keep listening, but I want to listen whilst you suck my cock. Yet that would make it hard for you to talk. It's…a conundrum." (The Great, S03E04)
• "I imagine sometimes if you were castrated and could focus only on ideas, how great you would be, Voltaire."
  "And sad, no? Voltaire without a cock. No. No, no, no." (The Great, S03E04)
• "I had the chef make madeleines stuffed with cantaloupe." (The Great, S03E04)
• "Come here. Get on all fours. Smell me, and wail like a buffalo." (The Great, S03E04)
• "It's horrible to die with many things unfucked and unwon. My heart breaks for you." (The Great, S03E04)
• "We had rules, Marial."
  "I love you too much for rules." (The Great, S03E04)
• "Only God can control destiny."
  "Well, have a word, then, will you?" (The Great, S03E04)
• "We were raised as men and ended up vulva with hands." (The Great, S03E05)
• "I want more of me. Me as I am is not enough."
  "That is mad. You are the most enough I have ever met." (The Great, S03E06)
• Peter! (The Great, S03E06)
• ♫: Pixies – "Mr. Grieves" (The Great, S03E06)
• "Look at me. I fucking love you! You have changed me! You have torn out the old George and dumped her compliant body and mind on the side of the road and made me new!"
  "Hmm. It's funny you once ate my pussy, isn't it?" (The Great, S03E07)
• "I put grapes in my hair. Try one." (The Great, S03E07)
• "Or…we leave in the morning, like we actually are, and you grow some meatballs by the morning."
  "Culturally insulting and personally belittling." (The Great, S03E08)
• ♫: Yaz – "Only You" (The Great, S03E08)
• "And we have Catherine the fucking Great, a woman of destiny."
  "Of fierce intelligence and wit."
  "Packed into a delicious body."
  "Her mind's the thing, you whore. You're so cunt-forward, aren't you?" (The Great, S03E09)
• "And I've always wanted you, you're…peaches and cream on a summer's day."
  "Oh, yeah, talk food! Yes! Yes!"
  "Uh… Mushroom…stroga-stroganoff."
  "Yes, yes!"
  "Soufflé…" (The Great, S03E09)
• "Perhaps this black hole you have in you could be filled with the love of a good doctor."
  "I will only ever love one man."
  "Peter the Great is dead. You are alive. I am alive. And if I fix the circular motion problem and attend to the pliancy issue, I think we're well suited." (The Great, S03E09)
• "What do you want? Other than clearly, and also logically, my body." (The Great, S03E10)
• [Castrati singing, Catherine moaning] (The Great, S03E10)
• ♫: AC/DC – "You Shook Me All Night Long" (The Great, S03E10)
• </The Great, S03>

19. Anne Frank (Dave, S03E06)

Honourable Mention

• Martial arts fight (Blindspotting, S02E05)
• Diarrhea (Somebody Somewhere, S02E02)
• Bobby Cannavale singing ♫: Creed – "My Sacrifice" (Bupkis, S01E02)

Stray Observations

• "I would describe it as a meltdown, human Chernobyl." (Succession, S04E06)
• "You're scheduling your grief?" (Succession, S04E06)
• "Mencken's IP, just like anything." (Succession, S04E06)
• "Joy has a lot of relationships. She has a lot of friends. And you are weak monarch in a dangerous interregnum." (Succession, S04E06)
• "Wow! Truth bombs from…from the phony man." (Succession, S04E06)
• "Flight jacket. For the launch." (Succession, S04E06)
• Kendall entering to ♫: Public Enemy – "Harder Than You Think" (Succession, S04E06)
• "You know, it's kind of like social media, but it's better. You know, it's, it's, it's physical social media in the real world." (Succession, S04E06)
• "Heil Kendall!" (Succession, S04E06)
• "This is what happens when you hire two guys with a podcast." (Barry, S04E04)
• Sian Heder (Barry, S04E04)
• "We aren't finding any heats on these fools. Mostly Power Cards." (Barry, S04E04)
• "What is the opposite of clever?"
  "The Sun." (Ted Lasso, S03E08)
• ♫: The Kinks – "Strangers" (Ted Lasso, S03E08)

» Anne Frank hitting the whip (Dave, S03E06)

• "You are so, so fiscally valuable to me, Chasey – especially now that you're 18! My God… I could cover your body in tattoos and then have them removed six months later so your body is always just a little bit blue forever." (The Other Two, S03E01)
• Running fangs joke (The Other Two, S03E01)
• "Also in the summer schedule, Drape Disasters with Maria Menounos. She goes into homes where the drapes are just a disaster."
  "Sounds great. Approved!"
  "Great. We're so glad you like it. We love Maria, and we love drapes. Okay, moving on, we also have a show with a woman named Alyssa Schechter. She has eight kids, and she is so, so nice."
  "And what's that one called?"
  "It's called Alyssa Schechter: She Has Eight Kids and She Is So, So Nice."
  "Yes! That way, people know exactly what it is." (The Other Two, S03E02)
• "I mean, they look like cops. They certainly… [sniffing] Smell like cops. But something tells me
  they're nothing more than a couple of GQ fags."
  "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's not use that language."
  "Aha! That was a test. If you were cops, you'd love that word." (The Other Two, S03E02)
• "Sorry, y'all. Gentrifiers last." (Blindspotting, S02E05)
• Pete Davidson ejaculating on Edie Falco (Bupkis, S02E01)
• "Are, are you still wearing the shirt?"
  "I'm gonna do Peloton after dinner. I'm not gonna ruin another shirt." (Bupkis, S02E01)
• Al Gore: "Oh, Wu-Tang." (Bupkis, S02E03)
• "Oh, Florida is where you were at your worst. It's everything wrong with you in one state." (Bupkis, S02E04)
• "Yeah, I got a fucking hand job to The Fast and the Furious once." (Bupkis, S02E04)
• "How the fuck are we talking to each other?" (Bupkis, S02E04)
• "You sold me out for a blow job?"
  "It was head." (Bupkis, S02E04)
• "Do not tell Chris Evans about this."
  "I just told him."
  "Chris!" (Bupkis, S02E04)
• ♫: Wiz Khalifa – "See You Again [feat. Charlie Puth]" (Bupkis, S02E04)
• "You can't just go and have a family, okay? That means no more partying, no more drugs, no more drinking, no more friends. You can't have friends. Have you ever seen me with a friend?" (Bupkis, S02E05)
• "This kid's mom is on this, like, 'spiritual journey' right now, which is just a fancy way of saying she's in Costa Rica doing ayahuasca, shitting her brains out into a bucket."
  "That's so sad."
  "It's actually so tragic."
  "People don't know you can do ayahuasca in Queens." (Bupkis, S02E05)
• "Who's your favorite comedian?"
  "Addison Rae." (Bupkis, S02E05)
• "Do you know what could have happened to you? Have you seen SVU?" (Bupkis, S02E05)
• "You said that you lied about liking Black Panther. He never even saw it!"
  "What?!"
  "You shut your mouth. Guys, she's just a kid. I mean, I s— I saw Black Panther! Multiple times, right? Wakander forever."
  "There's no hard 'R' in 'Wakanda,' you fucking racist."
  "I told you to watch that movie. So now, we out here fucked up." (Bupkis, S02E05)
• "Cool, but like, wh— What about my arc?"
  "Listen, I, I, I hear you. Everyone wants an arc. Uh, the truth is I asked my kids, you know, who do they want to see die in the movie? They said you." (Bupkis, S02E06)

(Bupkis, S02E06)

• "Come on. You got that big dick, right? You're like pussy Thanos." (Bupkis, S02E06)
• "You bought 112 individual episodes of Everybody Loves Raymond. That's stupid! Why don't you just bundle it? Why don't you fucking stream it, for fuck's sake? It's streaming on Peacock. It's streaming on the Cock!" (Bupkis, S02E06)
• "Take care of yourself, Pussy Thanos." (Bupkis, S02E07)
• Art the Clown (Bupkis, S02E08)
• "You know what's funny about Ace Ventura? That movie can't really be made now because it's, like, offensive to trans people."
  "Oh! Sean Young at the end with the—"
  "Yeah, dude! But he literally goes, 'He saw Mr. Winky!' And then she, like, shows the fucking cock, and they're all like, 'Ugh, ugh, ugh!' Like, Dan Marino is like, 'Ugh, ugh!'"
  "Yeah, and, and you know what else aged poorly?"
  "What?"
  "Vietnam." (Bupkis, S02E08)
• "What's peeling your dick?" (Bupkis, S02E08)
• "You stay the fuck away from me, Ray Romano." (Bupkis, S02E08)
• </Bupkis, S01>